Surgery tomorrow (9/21) coming apart terrified

I can't stop crying. Can't breathe and figure cancer has gone to lungs. House is clean and will weed eat this pm. I brought this on myself because I went to physicians asst who misdiagnosed me in sept. Of last year. I stayed the course and when i saw more bleeding I figured same thing. She never mentioned cancer or to come back. My own stupidity. Dr emphasized 43 per cent already have cancer and it could have spread. I don't understand any of it. My best friend was diagnosed with cancer by him in his office. After surgery he said things looked good and it was contained. He tells me if I have cancer I will have to do radiation and chemo. What is he not telling me ? The only thing keeping me going is my brother who is fighting rare leukemia for nearly two years. No matter what happens I will never let anyone but the people on here know how scared I am. I will suck it up no matter how bad it all gets. I worry about my bladder, me stasis, not being able to care for myself, living alone...Grief about all loved ones I have lost. I am just insane today so thanks to anyone who can identify.

I am so sorry for what you are going through, if you are a religious person but it all in God's hands.
I do know the fear of being diagnosed with cancer I had breast cancer, this is the first step on the path to recovery don't be afraid to take it.There are a lot of good people here to support you. God bless and take a deep breath.

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Originally Posted by Becky65 ...He tells me if I have cancer I will have to do radiation and chemo.

It would be pretty unusual for early stage, low grade endometrial cancer to have to do both radiation and chemo. Many women are declared NFT, no further treatment, after surgery.

Right now you simply don't know if the results of the surgery are going to show hyperplasia or cancer, and if cancer what grade and stage. There's every chance that *if* you have full-blown cancer, it's early stage and low grade.

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I worry about my bladder, me stasis, not being able to care for myself, living alone...

I live alone. After surgery, I had no trouble caring for myself and my two cats. It was refreshing to have my time and space to myself for recovery.

As things turned out, my cancer recurred nine months after surgery. I did six weeks of radiation and chemo. The cats and I coped with that on our own too, no problem. :-)

Dear Becky - I feel the overwhelm in your post. I know this is really scary. It's the unknown you are scared of and it's hard not to project. I hope as the day has passed (I see you posted earlier this morning) that you've taken some deep breaths and some sense of calm has returned to you.

I understand your grief and your fear. The next couple of weeks might be a challenge but I think you'll also feel a sense of relief that things are finally happening to help resolve whatever issue is there. Whatever you have to do, try to break it down into individual small steps as it is the big picture that often overwhelms us.

At some point soon, I think you feel a sense of surrender - or try to get there if you can. This surgery will happen and it is the next step to getting more information and getting rid of whatever pathology is there.

You have lots of support here no matter what. Wishing you all the best. Keep us posted.

Sending you a hug!

Dear Becky,

This site is what saved me from total panic. As you can see, others on this thread have bravely faced what you are fearing - you are not alone.
Please do not blame yourself for needing surgery. Sometimes things go awry - in my case, my doctors practice assumed my fibroids would shrink and 4 years went by before a doctor realized "something" was wrong. I was told by 3 specialists that my huge pelvis mass was cancer. So I went into surgery thinking that but resigned to having it done. I was one of the lucky ones as my cells were pre-cancerous and no further treatment was required.
But as the great gals here have already mentioned, concentrate on the now...not the what ifs. I know you have suffered great losses, but you owe it to yourself and all that love you, to take care of yourself. Have confidence in yourself and in that of your surgeon. After surgery, you can weigh your options, should further treatment be necessary, when you are less stressed.
We are here for you.
Sending you strength and virtual hugs... We pray for your uneventful surgery and good recovery. You can and will do this.