Totally violated & helpless

On July 1st I went in to have surgery to have an abdominal mass removed from my right ovary. I informed the doctor numerous times that I did not want a hysterectomy unless I had cancer. The doctor also repeated this to me before I went into the OR. While I was under anesthesia, he called in a GI specialist and I also had a bowel resection done. The doctor told my family that the good news is that I don't have cancer, but I had endometriosis real bad so he did a total hysterectomy. He informed them AFTER it was already done! he could have tried other methods to treat the endometriosis but didn't. to make things worse, i was in the hospital four days and no one checked my incision and it got infected. on my follow up visit, the doctor took my staples out and ripped the incision back open. he didn't give me anything for pain or numb the area. hell h didn't even tell me he was about to do that!. he stuck his hand down to the bottom of the wound to make sure it was healed. I wanted to die right on the table. I had home health nurses everyday to clean and pack the wound then i was put on a wound vac. I am only 35 and this doctor has aged me and kicked me into menopause without my consent. I am depressed and feel worthless, angry, hurt and like no one understands. he thinks he did me a big favor, but he didn't. does he have the right to ignore my wishes just because he is a doctor. I have no quality of life now.

Please dont feel worthless, endometriosis is bad and most of the time the other methods to rid you of it don't work. I had treatement for it for several years and it still came back with a vengeance until I had the hysterectomy. You are very young and that is terrible what happened but now you have to adjust to menopause and it doesnt age you, have them give you hormones to replace yours and get another doctor because it seems this one isnt so good. My doctor gave me pain meds etc and I never got an infection after my TAH. Your life will come back, just go to a better doc and endometriosis specialist.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by waterbearer35 On July 1st I went in to have surgery to have an abdominal mass removed from my right ovary. I informed the doctor numerous times that I did not want a hysterectomy unless I had cancer. The doctor also repeated this to me before I went into the OR. While I was under anesthesia, he called in a GI specialist and I also had a bowel resection done. The doctor told my family that the good news is that I don't have cancer, but I had endometriosis real bad so he did a total hysterectomy. He informed them AFTER it was already done! he could have tried other methods to treat the endometriosis but didn't. to make things worse, i was in the hospital four days and no one checked my incision and it got infected. on my follow up visit, the doctor took my staples out and ripped the incision back open. he didn't give me anything for pain or numb the area. hell h didn't even tell me he was about to do that!. he stuck his hand down to the bottom of the wound to make sure it was healed. I wanted to die right on the table. I had home health nurses everyday to clean and pack the wound then i was put on a wound vac. I am only 35 and this doctor has aged me and kicked me into menopause without my consent. I am depressed and feel worthless, angry, hurt and like no one understands. he thinks he did me a big favor, but he didn't. does he have the right to ignore my wishes just because he is a doctor. I have no quality of life now.

I am so sorry for what happened to you, how absolutely outrageous and violating. You may want to consult with a medical atty to find out what type of case you have.. If you haven't been to see a therapist, it may help you to speak with someone.

Hi Waterbearer,

I am very sorry to hear all you have been through and that you are feeling hurt and angry over it all. It sounds like a nightmare! I hope all is physically healed well for you now. I feel what body parts I have and do not have is not what defines me as a woman. We are not worthless; we're strong, awesome women. It's upsetting that things worked out the way they did, and your post op treatment afterwards, too! There's plenty of support here, so I'm glad you found us!

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Originally Posted by HYSTOPT Please dont feel worthless, endometriosis is bad and most of the time the other methods to rid you of it don't work. I had treatement for it for several years and it still came back with a vengeance until I had the hysterectomy. You are very young and that is terrible what happened but now you have to adjust to menopause and it doesnt age you, have them give you hormones to replace yours and get another doctor because it seems this one isnt so good. My doctor gave me pain meds etc and I never got an infection after my TAH. Your life will come back, just go to a better doc and endometriosis specialist.

I agree with what you say, I too had many endometriosis surgeries to now finally have a hysterectomy. Very good suggestions. I responded so early in the morning in a foggy state, so, I didn't get everything out I wanted to say.

waterbearer I am glad you have found our community. We are here for you. I think when you have a hormonal balance and have support you need, it will help you feel full of worth and not worthless. It is horrible what you are going through and it is understandable how depressed you feel, the hormone imbalance makes it worse. You are important and worth a lot!!!

You are so special/important. You did not deserve this to happen and are justified in your anger. You need to tell you story to a diff Dr and see what they think/say, also an attorney.

Are you on any hormones yet? I think that may help alot even though you did not want to, you need to balance them out to feel better.

((Hugs to you and keep looking all over here for lots of great support/answers))

What did you consent to in writing? I had to initial and sign my life away at my pre op - my doc was gonna take my ovaries just to clean me out and there would be no chance of ovarian cancer - thankfully, I found this site and man did I learn a lot! I told everyone, especially my DH, that I did NOT want my ovaries removed unless the doc came out and told him they needed to go. My consent form was changed and it was written that the doc had to speak with my DH before removing my ovaries. Fortunately, they were able to be saved and I was not thrust into surgical menopause at 45!

Omg if it wasn't in your consent form he should not have done hyst even if he was sure he was improving your quality of life, and your aftercare sounds horrendous, this is major surgery at the best of times but can't imagine not being prepared for it, I sympathise with you so much, I just hope you find the strength to get through this , I would defiantly see a lawyer, but for now you must concentrate on your recovery, I on the other hand am 33 and needed this op for to get good quality of life from the pain and suffering the endo caused, but i was prepared and ready, you were not and that's not fair, I wish you a safe healthy recovery from now on, things can only get better for you, hugs xxxxx

I totally feel u on feeling down. I have ovaries and they are "supposedly" working, but I am not sure that they are working right. My doc said oh ur just surg deppressed all bc I told him I felt like crap. He put me on celexa, and after one week I called and let the nurse know that I was going crazy. She said he wants to up your meds. I told her I would be in the next day (and a few unproper things). I talked to the doc and we swapped to pristiq. I felt more like myself today, but he wants me to see a shrink bc of what he done to me!!! Please get on hormones and try to stay away from the antidepressants unless u feel u truly need them.

Your ALIVE and you do have quality of life!! I never had endo to comment on what I think would have been best for you.

I can only hope that if the doctor did what he did he would have felt from a medical standpoint it was needed. We're your wishes documented?

This entire situation did not go well for you but I hope you are able to find comfort.

We are woman and are SO much more than a uterus or ovaries. I wish you well!