Afraid of losing my best friend!

I am going in on Sept. 13, uterus, ovaries, and cervix all coming out. My husband just told me today that he is planning on taking his last 2 weeks of vacation, so he can stay home and take care of me. I while back when sex became a real issue for me pain/bleeding/bloated/ big tummy all the things that make you feel so very sexy, my husband told me that he didn't marry me just for sex. He said that if I never felt like it ever again, he would love me the same as he does now.....Although, he did mention that oral sex would be a good alternative....hee hee......He was trying to add humor into this non-humerous situation. He made me feel better, and I know that he truly meant it....However, I am certainly hoping that things will improve after this is over and I am through recovery. My husband has promised me a trip to Victoria's Secret when I am up to it....

Hi bethc60,
I just wanted to add that not only does your husband deserve to have a healthy you in his life, YOU deserve to have a healthy you.

I have been married for 15 years. When I explained my fears (all similar to yours) to my DH, he said that he has happily stuck with me for 15 years through grad school, relocating across the country three times, and watching me suffer horribly with the effects of these fibroids, so if he can endure all of that the surgery and it's aftermath should be a breeze.

I hope that everything goes well for you and your DH, and know that no matter what happens we will be here to support you. Take care!!

Angela

Hi Beth,

I am 3 weeks post-op. I went through the same issues as you. I was so afraid that the decision of having a complete hysterectomy would change me and in turn change my relationship with my husband (my best friend). Having a hysterectomy was the biggest decision I had to face because I had a healthy uterus, ovaries, etc.. The reason for my surgery was due to a prolapsed uterus. My doctor and I talked about alternatives concerning my situation. I decided to have a LAVH along with a complete pelvic floor reconstruction, followed by HRT. It bothered me to remove my uterus/ovaries because of all the issues that could follow. I felt however, to have the pelvic floor reconstruction be successful, I needed to work with a clean canvas. To re-hang my female organs, at my age, seemed a little silly. First of all, these hangers (muscles/ligaments) are getting older too. Therefore, even if I decided to keep everything and go through the reconstruction alone, there is still a high probability that things will prolapse again. Second of all, I am very close to menopause and other then the ovaries I could not see the purpose of keeping things. My doctor discussed ovarian cancer ?*#^*?*# and how it is difficult to detect it if one was to contract it. So, I decided everything should go I would lift and repair everything that was left.

I am doing fine. I am on HRT and have had no hot flashes, mood swings etc. I believe if you are a happy adjusted person going into the surgery you will be the same after. This “monster” doesn’t all of a sudden immerge. Yes, there are women who have to adjust to HRT depending on their tolerability, but so far, I am doing great with my HRT. My husband and I still have lots of laughs and enjoy each others company. Remember, husbands are afraid too. They are also wondering if “their best friend” is going to be the same after surgery. Yes, there have been tears and snapping back and forth time to time between each other. When I first became tearful, I thought oh my, here comes the hormonal fluctuations…..NOT…..it was just post operative blues. They will hit a couple of times. When I snapped at my husband it usually was because I was too tired and I didn’t have the energy to be nice. This will happen a lot, especially when you try to get back to doing your normal routine. The simplest of tasks can be the hardest until you regain you strength. Long walks and open communication will help you both through this. Remember, men don’t like too much detail. They just need to know you are still healing and adjusting, but you are getting better each day. Remind them it is a slow process and have patients…..you are doing the best you can. Friends are there in the good times and the bad. Now, on the topic of sexual partner????? Well, we will know in a few weeks if there are any issues. We can talk again then.

Regards, dblu PS….I’ve had my best friend for 26 years

Hi Beth,
I am 7 months post op, after having a TAH for endo. I got to keep one ovary, so I didn't need a patch. However, because of my age, I am pre-menopausal (sp?).
Anyway, I just wanted to reassure you that everything is back to normal for me, and I am so much happier now. I have been married to my DH for 22 years, and we have never been happier.I have not been as moody and difficult as I was the last couple of years. I have not put on weight post op, and actually DH has been "after me" more than ever before.
If you and your DH have been happy together for 25 years, I'm sure you'll be just fine after the surgery as well.
Many hugs to you,

Aurora

7 weeks post op here and trust me - it will all be OK!

I had TAH/BSO and kept nothing.

Mood swings have been very few and far between.

Sex - yeah we've tried it a couple of times and everything seems to still work just fine hubby is happy - I'm happy - my body is happy

Good luck with your surgery!

I just have to say that if your partner truly is your "best friend" then his sexual needs will be the last consideration through all of this. He should be thinking of taking care of you, not of how you won't be "taking care" of him.

What is important is YOUR health and getting through this. THAT'S what a best friend ought to be focusing on. Any guy who leaves his wife because she is not sexually available to him because she is sick? I say, "don't let the screen door hit you in the keester!" Best friends stick around, no matter what.

Too many of us are too busy worrying about everyone else's needs during all this when we ought to be worrying about our own needs for a change. Right now I am worrying that my SO won't be able to manage the household stuff, the shopping, the dogs, etc. I've got to give myself a "good talkin' to" and realize that maybe as a result of this, my SO will realize just how much I do around here and be more willing to share the load in the future, without my having to always ask. I am the "Felix" in the household, my SO is the "Oscar"...it's going to be a trial of my patience in the next few weeks! Now THAT freaks me out!

Hiya Everyone

I was so confused when my prolapse happened last Sept and read so many articles my head was spinning. I had surgery to suspend my uterus in April this year. I was off work for 13 weeks. The only reason I didn't opt for a vaginal hysterectomy was because I had read that other organs can prolapse after as the uterus helps to support everything else. Everything was fine until 3 weeks ago when it came back as bad as it was before. ( my cervix comes out of my vagina) I went back to my doctor and am now having a vag hysterectomy and repairs as it is fetching the front wall of my vagina down now. I have only been back at work 5 weeks. My op is Novemeber. I also had a scan when I went went back and I have a large fibroid now. If I'd known this before I would have had hysterectomy as my doc tried to pursuade me.
Does anyone know if a vag hysterectomy can be done with a large fibroid.

Sunflower,

I have a fibrod right at the opening of my cervix...the doc wants to do it vag but she doesn't know yet if the fibroid will be cause her trouble...so she said she'd decide during the surgery...so I don't know if I'll wake up with a TVH or a TAH...which ever way, I know it'll be done before I wake up.

Hugs and Blessings to all you girls,

Mich

Thank you for the words of encouragement! Tell your sister thank you very much, also.

I hope that your post-op is going well!

God bless you!

Beth