sleepless in Costa Rica

Up at 2:45 so put the coffee on our rain is down to a drizzle now after 5 days solid downpour over 55 inches in those days, flooding and mudslides but not effecting me but just restless.

Going into that daze state were thoughts just running through the head but nothing sticking. Then wondering what I am going to do with the rest of my life, so tired of the old one.

I need a direction, this having nothing to do everyday I can't take it anymore.

As an american here in Costa Rica have to make my own jobs because of the working laws here. I know what I want to do I want to start a commercial embroidery business, husband said he would help then backed out, and then I had the cancer and hysterectomy, now it just seems like I am stuck in nowhere land.

Can't seem to settle down and relax, drinking to much wine

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT

I am sorry that you are feeling kind of stuck in limbo. I am also a person that does not sit around well. I have to be doing something. Is it possible to volunteer for a couple of hours a week at a hospital, soup kitchen, or library?? Or are you physically isolated? I wish that I had some magical answer. How are you doing in your recovery other than the boredom? Best wishes!

We don't have any of those things in this town, we live in a tourist town. I just move back to it after 7 years on our farm.

You know what? I can relate to you because for the past week I have been thinking "there has to be MORE than just this"

I feel the need to contribute and not being able to do it via family stuff makes me feel let down..but there has to be more than just sitting around and doing so little