Worries about sex

I am 26 and have enough problems with sex as it is. This whloe surgery is making me even more worried that I will have more problems. (when I say problems I mean making myself relax enough to enjoy it and have the pleasure that it should bring. Instead I lay there telling my self to lay back and enjoy the entire time which never works). Anyone have any suggestions?

I know what you mean some times if my pain is doing good i decide ok sex will be good yeah right it still hurt no mater how good i felt earlyier in the day But I pray and hope that the day doc says sex is on i will be a new women. I do have to say this my husband is very understanding and i think no mater the out come he will be their for me. If your marryed or have a special guy i suggest telling your hubby or other what happens now and tell him your fears so that after the doc gives you the ok he will help you over come the fear left over from the times before. BE open about your fears I'm sure he will understand. well anyways that is my advice sorry if it sounds goofy

I am married, for almost 7 years now. We talked last night about why I can't relax and just enjoy. I think he is trying to understand and I don't see him giving up on me. I just want to feel "normal". If there is such thing. Any advise is greatly appericiated.
Thanks!

All I know is that HAS to be better than it is now! I know a few ladies that have had the surgery and fully enjoy their sex lives. And one of the men I work with said some of the best sex since his divorce has been with women without uteruses! I believe that it will be better. Be open with your husband- they (men) just dont get it - they understand even less than we do. Keep the faith!
s

Firefly28

Because of other things that happened in my life I had the same problem. No matter how much I told myself to RELAX it didn't happen. What helped me the most was NOT TRYING SO HARD!! I just totally quit trying to relax and concentrated on giving my DH the time of his life. After a few months I realized I was starting to enjoy it!

Just think positive. I keep telling myself that When this is all over we are going to have the best sex ever! Hope this helps.

Ladies,
I usually had some type of pain with sex prior to my surgery. My dr. told me that my dh was probably "hitting" a large fibroid. After my LSH surgery which removed a uterus full of fibroids and adenmyosis, I can happily say that I have no pain with sex--none at all! I'd also had a lot of lower back pain from a tilted uterus and now that is gone too. I think sex is at least 50% mental attitude and I went into my surgery thinking positive that my life was going to be so much better and it is.
I'm sure you all will be amazed how yours will be too.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Snooky46 Ladies, I usually had some type of pain with sex prior to my surgery. My dr. told me that my dh was probably "hitting" a large fibroid. After my LSH surgery which removed a uterus full of fibroids and adenmyosis, I can happily say that I have no pain with sex--none at all! I'd also had a lot of lower back pain from a tilted uterus and now that is gone too. I think sex is at least 50% mental attitude and I went into my surgery thinking positive that my life was going to be so much better and it is. I'm sure you all will be amazed how yours will be too.

You are such an encouragement to me Sue. The last 24 hours have been really hard due to lower back pain from my tilted uterus. Thank you for sharing

Firefly....relaxing can be a problem for some....you say you lay back and tell yourself to relax. I'm not sure if you mean this literally, but if you do, how about trying to be the initiator...the one in control...rather than "laying back" and taking what happens to you? Maybe if you are in control you won't worry so much about whether it will be pleasurable, but work on the best movements and positions that make it a beautiful experience for you

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Snooky46 Ladies, I usually had some type of pain with sex prior to my surgery. My dr. told me that my dh was probably "hitting" a large fibroid. After my LSH surgery which removed a uterus full of fibroids and adenmyosis, I can happily say that I have no pain with sex--none at all! I'd also had a lot of lower back pain from a tilted uterus and now that is gone too. I think sex is at least 50% mental attitude and I went into my surgery thinking positive that my life was going to be so much better and it is. I'm sure you all will be amazed how yours will be too.

Ahhhh, now I know why I'm having such back pain. I too have a tilted uterus and pain on sex. I'm scared about the surgery but it sounds like it will solve my problems. One year ago, I didn't feel I needed the surgery even though I have had problems my entire life with heavy, painful periods but lately things have been getting worse I'm glad my booked the surgery. I'm now trying to piggy back my foot recovery on with my hysterectomy.

Sue, aka Snooky, I've been reading some of your responses and they have helped a lot.

Still trying to learn more so will keep reading....

Cheers, Kelly

I had to chime in ladies. I too am hoping for a change post op. This may be TMI, but I find that DH and I have great sex after a little bit of drinking(which we don't do too often). My theory, I AM RELAXED. Yes, I still have pain in some positions but I am not so worried and tense. My DH is a wonderful and understanding man, but I will be honest with you, I hurt his feelings when I explained why I didn'nt enjoy sex. Because, you see, we have it about once a day(night, actually) and he didn't realze I didn't enjoy it until all this came up. Now, he feels guilty, as if I was doing it just for him or out of guilt or something. Still trying to repair the damage that conversation did.
Don;t mean to steal your post, but I just wanted to celebrate the fact that I am not the only one.

I am only 31 and keep telling myself that I will be able to enjoy my incredibly attractive husband soon. I think this has been going on for so many years, there may be a psychological block that I am going to have to get over, even after the surgery. And I can't spend the next thirty years drunk just so I can ...you know, enjoy myself!