Visitors at the hospital (child mentioned)

I have a 10 yr old daughter who wants to visit me while I'm in the hospital. She will be staying with her grandparents while I'm in the hospital. Her plan is to come to the hospital right after school and visit for a few hours. I'm scared I won't be up to seeing her for that long. She has never seen me sick and is scared and angry that I am not able to do everything with her. Any suggestions on how to best prepare kids?

My daughter is 11 and see came after school to see me too. She was there for about an hour and i dozed in an out while she was there. I think the visit was for her to see that I was ok more then anything else. I have shared everything with her about this whole process....she wants to know everything! My husband works nights so when he is gone my daughter helps out and I think this makes her feel good. She reads to me, gets my water, helps me get up and down......in a weird way this has been a time to get closer to my daughter while i am healing. Let your daughter do small things for you, it will make her happy

Let her know that you will be very possibly dozy and sleepy, and that this is perfectly normal after anesthesia. You may or may not make sense or realize what you are saying. I say this because I was apparently complaining of being in pain and the one memory that I have that is clear is the nurse asking me what my pain level was; I told her 5 even though I was at a 2 or 3. I was afraid she wouldn't give me the pain pump if I told her that my pain level was that low. I don't remember complaining about the pain at all, however, I apparently did this for most of the evening and it upset my daughter that they didn't have the pain under control. However, I know they did because of that one clear memory. I honestly was out of it for the entire evening and really wasn't lucid until the next morning. I hope this info help you decide what to tell your daughter and whether she is ready to possibly see you in this condition. My daughter is a nurse but even though she had an idea of what to expect, it still upset her.

My children 12 and 9 came to visit me. It really helped put my son at ease emotionally. Yes I was on pain meds, yes I was a little drowsy, but I was there, awake and basically okay. It helped my son to know that Mom was going to be okay. My daughter really wasn't all that concerned to begin with, but she was happy to see that all was well.

I was only in the hospital overnight and decided to have my 5 and 11 yo's stay home with grandparents who took care of them at our house. The evening of my surgery, I texted pictures of myself smiling and drugged from my hospital bed, lol. My kids also talked to me on the phone the next morning before I came home. I am glad I did not let them come to see me because I was saying things I would not normally say due to that glorious pain med injection in my IV. Profanity and such, lol. Also I was hooked up to things that could look scary to children - oxygen tube in the nose, huge catheter tube with urine bag hanging from the bed and it was bloody, too...also the compression booties.

Prior to surgery dh and I discussed with the kids what they could expect and what was going to happen to me but our primary convos were focused on what the kids were going to experience. We left special snack baskets for them for the night we would be gone, made sure grandparents ordered pizza for dinner as a treat, and left a few small wrapped gifts from us to be given after phone calls to/from the hospital (this was primarily for the 5 yo but they both loved it). My dh called them specifically to let them know as soon as surgery was done to let them know I was okay and couldn't wait to come home.

At home in advance I had set aside several new board and card games (my surgery was two days after Christmas) which we have enjoyed playing during my recovery. I've also been meeting my 5 yo online in the virtual world of Jumpstart.com where Mommy can run, dance, jump on the bed with her and even fly on a pegasus! lol I am having a blast with my kids during recovery, a very unexpected blessing.

I think every mom knows her kids best and what they need. Some kids are more anxious and do not want or maybe do well with details just to know what will affect them in a general way. Others may be more logically minded or mature and prefer to be kept abreast of the situation as things progress. I think they all appreciate a little treat during an otherwise unsettling time and having small responsibilities as others have wisely mentioned will help them feel helpful and a contributing member of the family.