Gimme some love, girls!

I need sister support!

Work has been so NOT understanding. My editor actually looked at me the other day and said "I understand you had surgery, but you ARE back at work now."
I burst into tears and had to leave early. Now she thinks I'm nuts.
I'm really just hormonal. I mean, I'm still having dreams about babies. I'm adjusting to HRT, I'm only 7 weeks out and still hurting.
I still have trouble focusing on work and making sense. I can't even talk straight half the time.
Should I tell her what's going on? She only knows I had surgery. Nothing more.

AND to boot, my jeans don't fit anymore! I gained weight during recovery and my belly is still swelly. Like I needed to gain any weight. I'm already plus-sized.
Give me a break!

Sit her down and explain the WHOLE thing to her. She may be way more understanding than you expect. If not, at least you'll have given it your best shot.

First, here's your love!

Now, I can totally relate. My bosses were awful to me while I was out and when I got back. I actually quit Wednesday after 11 years.

I felt so good about my decision but have to admit that the evil doubts keep creeping in saying things like, "This is the mad ravings of a menopausal woman" and "They must have taken your brain out with your uterus." So, I understand the emotional part and I bursted into tears about the thing that finally made me quit.

Of course, not suggesting you quit, just telling you I understand how hard this is. For me, what happened was unforgivable and I had to do what's best for me. So, you do the same thing and do what's best for you. Speak your mind and honor your soul and you can't go wrong.

I am sorry that this is happening to you and I am sending light and love your way! It will get better. Oh, by the way, I'm so jealous that you are journalist! I have always wanted to be a writer.

Thanks for the love!
You can be a writer anytime. Just write! The more you do it, the better you get.
I can't say journalism is a good career choice at the moment though. Not many jobs...lots of layoffs...newpapers are struggling. But there are still jobs out there.
If you really want to write. Do it. You never know what might happen. My mother wrote a novel 20 years ago, submitted it, ended up making a career out of it and is still doing it. She too always wanted to write.

Maybe it's part of the whole going back to work thing, but I had the "I want to quit" feeling several times in my first weeks back. I also felt like my brain was super muddled up and even the smallest tasks had me feeling frustrated. It's gotten much, much better in the last 2 weeks though. I think you should explain that you're going thru more than just recuperating from a surgery. I would hope that because she's a female, she'd understand but that's not always the case. Good luck to you and even if others don't understand, we certainly do.

Word to the wise, be careful about what you share with your co-workers or boss. It could come back to haunt you. They could say you are no longer able to perform your job duties. But I do understand your sysmptoms, they could be associated with the menapause. And you still may need more time to adjust to the HRT.

I totally get the insensitive remark made to you. I was actually told that they understood I have cancer and need life saving treatments, but everybody has issues. Totally inappropriate. But there are many jerks in the world like this.

I won't be cleared to go back to work until next Spring due to the extensive surgery I had, but I do know that I will be guaranteed the same title but won't be put back into that same awful office. I'm in a union and my disability contract requires they put me back into the same title and pay, but it could be in a different department, which I whole heartedly welcome.

I hope things get better for you at work, it just makes it that much harder to adjust when there are inconsiderate people like that you have to deal with.

I would say share what's happening with your boss (because she does need to know the extent of what you're going through) but also document everything. Calmly explain to her the recovery and some of the effects, but stress that you're trying as best you can, but there might be some difficult days. I only told my boss and HR director (and stressed to them I wanted it kept confidential) and it worked out for me--I'm so sorry you're having these challenges. Some people just don't know and some people are just insensitive, and some are both.

Sending you hugs.

I went back to work yesterday. I got lots of hugs from everyone and then it was as if I was expected to work as if nothing had ever happened. I just survived a hysterectomy and cancer and it didn't matter. I didn't expect things to be any different, but inside I am very different now even if no one knows it.

So what if you cried in front of your boss? You just went through a life altering operation. It would be interesting to see how your boss would behave if she had gone through such an ordeal. Be glad you survived it all and can go back to work and your boss can just blow it out her nose!

I'm with you on the jeans thing, so I can't give you much support (except that misery loves company). I haven't gained any weight, but my swelly belly makes me look pregant from the front with a saggy bottom behind because I have to wear pants that are two sizes too big. Very attractive! This is a temporary problem. Our swelly bellies will go down and with determination you can lose whatever weight you gained.

I don't know why all of us push ourselves so hard to be 100% when it can take a full year to really feel that way. Be kind to yourself, even if your boss is not, and tell yourself how brave you are to keep going when you hurt inside and out. Every day will be easier and no one has the right to make your recovery any more challenging than it already is.