so scared I'm shaking

I am terrified of my surgery which is scheduled for 2-17-06. I have 2nd degree prolapse and a growth on my left ovary. I'm having a vag and lap procedure to remove the uterus and left ovary. I have been in and out of the hospital since I was 12 and have had major surgeries before, but I have never been this scared. I was overdosed by a nurse a couple years ago. She gave me 300 mg of demerol and left. I would have died had my husband not been there when I started seizing. I guess I'm scared of human error. I also have a fear of post op pain. I have a tolerance to pain killers due to years of use due to my disease. My docs know about all this of course, but seems to think there will be no problem. My family doesn't understand my fear due to all the other surgeries I've made it through. I can't put my finger on why this one scares me so badly. Any advice is more than welcomed. :

Dear Roxielovesme, I know it's scarry and it sounds like you have had your share of pain and surgeries. Try to read or do things to relax yourself, get ready for hospital, watch a good movie. Read the post-op discussions on this site, sounds like we worry more waiting but that we'll be fine after. Take care and good luck....Frenchie

Make sure when you go for your pre op that you talk about your fears and the human error side of it. Maybe they could note on your record what happened in the past and ask that all nurses double check their doses?
I'm scared too, I've had other surgeries before but for some reason I feel more scared with this one. I can't put my finger on it either. Best of luck to you, hang in there....
Andrea

Hi,

This was my third endo surgery... I've had one every decade since my twenties, and I've had two other additional surgeries not related to endo. I was more scared this time and I couldn't understand why. I even cried before they put me under! I think previous surgeries before prepare you, but sometimes it's like enough is enough! I think it was worse for me because I wasn't sure of the outcome and the stress of how bad I'd been feeling was building up. I think it's good to talk about your fear...I wish I found this site before my operation. Good luck!

I am amazed that I received such wonderful feedback so quickly. I must admit it makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. I would like to know if anyone went in for a vaginal procedure and wound up with an abdominal incission. My OB wants to try the vag first, but thinks there is the possibility of having to perform the tradional surgery. If there is someone out there, did your recovery time take longer. I'm a teacher and really don't want to be out the whole six weeks if it can be helped. I just don't know what to expect. Also, as I stated in my first post I'm terrifed of the post op pain. Can anyone give me a comparison or a pain level. I understand pain is individual, but I'm hoping to relieve a little of my fear. Thanks in advance and thanks again for the wonderful women who replied earlier

roxielovesme-
I can certainly understand why you have a lot of fear given your medical and surgical history. Please try to be easy on yourself! I wish I could tell you what to expect as far as pain, but I can't. I will tell you that I have known fear a LOT in my life, and sometimes there is simply nothing rational about it. Even though you have been through major surgeries before, that doesn't mean this isn't scary and that your fear isn't real. That I understand very well.

Hang in there - you aren't alone. Take care-
Julie

I was terrified too, and put my off my TAH for 7 years just because I was so scared.

If you can find her posts, Patcat on this board had some issues with fear and meds and her hyster went fine. Perhaps you could PM her. We were praying for her all around the country.

God bless you. We are here for you.

Of course you're scared! Why wouldn't you be? Especially with your past experience . . . Heck, you wouldn't be "normal" if you weren't scared! The trick is to not let it get the best of you. Sharing your fears and concerns with others is a great step!

As for the pain, it does vary for each person. You'll probably get IV morpine while in the castle (or similar very strong pain med), and you'll be sent home with oral pain killers (Vicodin or similar). Pain control is much, much better than it used to be. Let your doc know if you are not getting proper relief.

Hope this helps some!!! Things will be just fine!!!!

Hugs!
monami

I understand how you are feeling. I had a lap when I was 20 and I ended hemmoraging at home that evening to the next morning. I was rushed into emergency surgery and had a laparatomy. I needed three pints of blood. It was a human error (gyn). I didn't have surgery again until 6 years later, but I had surgery with a doctor I completed trusted. I let him know my fears and he reassured me and called me at home during the night.

Defintely talk to your doctor and let him/her know what happened in the past and they will help you.

Best of luck.

Sharon

Hey roxielovesme,

This is not an easy road to be on. I understand your fears too. I think if this was an operation to remove a tonsil or gallbladder this would be sooooo much easier, but we are talking about parts of us we identify with emotionally and physically. I have come to terms with the fact that my uterus does not make me the woman I am and according to the experience of others, will not effect my physical relationship with my hubby. I want a healthy life, pain free with my family. My lawyer friend tells me to make the best decision you can based on the best information you have and don't look back. I'm not looking back, just forward. Have hope! Everyone says the waiting is the worst part and on that we are all certain, but have hope!

peace