Trying To Get Back to Being Me

Did any of you have a hard time when you started thinking about gettting back to what you have always know as normal? I am almost at 6 wks. and my family has treated me like such a queen, I am scared of all that going away.

I have enjoyed the special treatment, I don't want to completely give it up. But I have this image of being able to handle anything, because I always have. How do you go half way back so people can see I am not all that tough after all? People have to really get to know me to see this very soft more fragile side.

My family made it so I have been at home completely for the last 6 wks. they handled everything, and now I find myself afraid to take the giant step back outside. Does that make sense to anyone? TAH/BSO concerned about the hormones getting me too.

Kasey,
I think I could have written your post. I am feeling exactly as you are. I go back to my very physical job as a Program Instructor for Adults with developmental and mental disibilities on Monday. I'm scared to be "normal" again. I liked being home and pampering the Princess. I liked reading the boards here 2 times per day, lol.
I told my hubby yesterday that aside from having my kids, this surgery has had more of an impact on me than anything else in my life. I can't explain why. I've had other surgeries, knee x2 for example. It meant very little, ya know? I think about my surgery a lot during the day, I look at my incisions a couple of times per day. It's bizarre...
The other thing is I'm feeling is a little hard to explain. It's like I'm grieving the time that's passing, almost like I wish I was 2.5 or 3 weeks post-op again. Like I said, it's very hard to put into words.

Kasey2, I think I know what you mean. I've never had 6 wks off from work in my life. What a welcomed break. I'm taking stock of my life now and thinking about changing some things. For one thing, I work sooo hard. I'm one of those battleaxe types who does it all. I go in early, I stay late. I commute 50 miles to and from work, I do all the shopping, the cleaning, the cooking. I like to have a tightly run ship with everything organized. I'm thinking once I go back to "life", I'm not going to work as hard. It was just too much for me to handle and before my surgery I was exhausted. I walked into the hospital excited about getting a break. This surgery is a vacation for me. My life has to slow down a bit. I cause my own problems just wanting everything to be perfect. So I'm going to work on that. And I'm not going to be such a tough cookie, I'm going to let DH help me more.

I'm at 5 weeks and feel about 40%...I will be going back to work on the 22nd of January as a floor nurse - ugh! I had my gallbladder out 3 weeks before my TAH/BSO so I will have had a total of 12 weeks off - not sure my energy level is going to match the demand. I had this bright idea to get a new job just before my first surgery - they are holding it for me. So not only am I going back to work but to a completely new environment / specialty - what a ding dong. I'll blame it on the hormones, and now the lack of. Well I guess I'm having an extreme makeover - inside and out. My husband has been the most loving/tender gatekeeper to me. For the first 3 weeks he wouldn't even let me lift the milk carton. Talk about spoiled. The one day the gatekeeper let me out of the house to go to the dentist - you know it..I got the flu, complete with 101 temp and the whole nine yards. Probably why I'm feel like I'm only at 40%. Not sure how this is going to play out, but at least I didn't give notice to my old employer yet. I look forward to being 100% in the future. Looking back this is still way better than how I was before my surgery. Good things come to those who wait - so they say.

I'm a little worried. I have Christmas vacation as a buffer. But I'm so dang busy with work, family, a second part-time job (for fun--REALLY), and finishing my Master's Degree. I have done some little work here and there, but nothing like normal. YIKES! The one thing I will be able to keep is the housekeeper I hired while I have been recovering. She's comes twice a month. Dh said he realized how much she could help me as far as having one less thing to worry about. YAY! Maybe you could suggest something like that?

Stephanie
30 years old, TAH/BSO 11/26/07--endo, adeno, pelvic congestion

WE HAVE TO GO BACK?!?

Dang no one told me that part...

kidding, I go back to work after the new year, i could go now, but im enjoying not working right now, told my husband who I share a computer service business with that he told me when he was sleeping that I never had to go back to work again. hhehe, it went like this (me- hunny, can i stay home forever? him-mmm hmmm, snore snore snore) heheh
it will take awhile to get back in the swing of running an office and service calls again.

Debbie

It was hard getting back into the swing of things. The first week was the hardest, but it's been getting easier as time goes by. Some days I don't even think about having had surgery.

kasey2....I thought I was alone in that thought process! This is my first surgery ever and the time has flown by. I was treated like a queen in the hospital, at home and by friends. Sigh.....

After posting this morning I went to the salon for the first time since surgery, and boy did I have some maintainence to do. After color, cut and a pedi, and chin mustache, and brow waxing I felt pretty again. I put on my jeans and my favorite suede jacket and then met my sister and mom for lunch. Other than the swelly belly I felt really good about myself. And I think I may have turned a few heads. Maybe I am on the way back.
I have learned how easy it is to lose yourself in something like this. From now on when I hear of a older lady who has stopped leaving the house and getting dressed and driving for herself I am going to think about how easily I could do the samething. And offer her a hand back to her independence, as I get back out and do everything I want to do again. While learning to accept help from others for a change. Thank you for all your post its good not to be alone in my thoughts, it makes me feel less wierd.