who hasnt had children

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Originally Posted by EndoCystFibroid My acceptance of my childlessness was certainly challenged over the years by the insensitive comments and questions of others. I think the rudest question I was ever asked was in meeting someone at a business cocktail party who looked me straight in the eye and asked "So do you hate kids or are you just selfish?"

Wow...that was somethiing else! I don't get why people think that not having children, even on purpose, is selfish! I know people who have HAD children for selfish reasons. Like a built in ego-boost, "look what I can do". It isn't selfish not to have children, because until they are conceived, they don't exist! It's not like they are in a waiting room somewhere waiting for someone to choose them. Kids that are already born and abused or abandoned, they ARE waiting for someone.... But people have to take into account their finances, health, and emotional stability before they take on something like that. Unfortunately there is no screening process for people having their own kids.

Obviously I have strong feelings about this. I hope I didn't offend anyone and mean no disrespect to anyone. I'm the youngest of five children and appreciate people who have children! I've never felt the overwhelming desire myself, but I have nothing against people who do.

I've been married 15 years and after 2 miscarriages, 2 ectopic pregnancies (resulting in the loss of my fallopian tubes and 1 ovary) and one failed IVF cycle I had to face the fact that I will never have a baby. I didn't think I would ever get over that loss, but fortunately I do have lots of nieces and nephews who I love dearly. When I met with my Dr. about scheduling the hysterectomy I told her "I promise you I won't cry the day of my surgery......I did my crying years ago". I'm ready to have this surgery and ready to move on with my life. It makes it a little easier to have the hysterectomy knowing there is absolutely no way I could get pregnant on my own.

Me too!

I had TAH and right SO June 7, 2010...left SO 2/09.

I am almost 46. Wish I would have had kids but obviously too late. It is sad. People don't seem to really understand the feeling. Yes, I was already awfully old to have kids but it's the finality of it all>

It's good to share this with others.

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Originally Posted by dachsbear178 Wow. This is a SUPPORT GROUP, not a criticism board. I am alot of things, but a Debbie Downer is not one of them. You were out of line with that remark. dachsbear178

The LOL was there for a reason.... it was a joke.... please dont take offense

Hi - (40 yrs old) No kids. I had to make a decision prior to surgery (was 37 at the time of surgery). I am not married, no brothers/sisters. Decision was strictly made to increase probability of survival. Do have a bit of a struggle... feel a bit out of place... hard to relate to others. It does come and go.. and seems a bit more tolerable with time. Sometimes.. ok... sometimes not

Hey Mayjunejuly -- I appreciate your sentiments so much. It's always amazed me too that people think they have done something super-duper extraordinary simply by having sex. You would think they were capable of being God and creating a human being! Peace, dear one.

Hey APurpose -- Love your name and the reference to Isaiah. May your own "APurpose" bring you great joy!

Hey widownor -- You made me laugh! Some folks aren't even worth the energy to slap!!! I'll check out the website. Thanks!

Hey cats3dog1 - Jeremiah is my favorite prophet. Keeping pressing on, sister and thanks for your encouraging words.

Hope your surgery went well today and you are on your way to an easy and smooth recovery.
Am also a member of the childless who didn't really want any. I worked where I saw a lot of kids whose parents treated them horribly. Really made an impression on me. I am fine with my decision but some people are very insensitive. And sometimes you just have to say it is not worth it.