I am 40 and having huge anxiety and sadness!

Hi All! I'm new to hystersisters. I am so happy to have found "you" I've been googling, and googling - I just wanted to get some real live feedback. I am 40 and married, we tried to have children but could not due to the "mess" that is my uterus and ovary (had one removed already). I know that this operation will help me not be in pain anymore and I will get my "life" back, not having to lay in bed a week out of the month. But I just have this deep apprehnsion about it and anxiety. I cry a lot and I think I just feel like I'm mourning my uterus already! I've grown attached to my hormones and girl parts. I've read so many outcomes from ladies who have had a hysterectomy. I guess, I just want to know if anyone else had this feeling before surgery? I have giant fibroids in my uterus (doc said if she didn't do it now, I'd be back in 2 years..might as well get it over with?? ) she also sees a small endomtrial cyst on my other ovary and suspects a regrowth of endometrial tissue. It's March 1st, getting closer! Anyone have any calming words? Orrr.. do you reccomend some anti-anxiety meds? Prayers? Meditations? - Thank you in advance!!

I was extremely anxious and emotional when I found out I needed a hysterectomy. I had many crying meltdowns. It's normal to feel that way. I was prescribed xanax which really helped me with the anxiety attacks I was having. Hang in there, it'll get better!

Hi 20 paws! I was 45 when I had my hysterectomy, and I can certainly relate to how you feel. I have never been able to have children, but when I was told I seriously needed a hysterectomy, the finality of it really hit home. I think it is completely normal for you to have anxiety at this point.

As for the endometrial cyst and regrowth of endometriosis, have you consulted an endo specialist? If not, please consider doing so. As you likely know, hysterectomy does not cure endometriosis. If you do not have all the implants excised, it can return. Since you already need an abdominal surgery, why not take care of it all at once?

As for trying to stay calm, there is no easy answer. I stayed busy finishing school. When I wasn't studying, I tried massage, hot baths, meditation, and guided meditation tapes. Keep posting and asking questions. I wish you the very best!

Thank you Elsie 1122! Actually, the gal I'm seeing is an endometriosis specialist..she suspects I have endometriosis on my bowels ( frequently get sciatica) and she has studied with an endo specialist..so I'm certain she will be able to help my endo - the hystectomy is because of large fibroids - I'm hoping she can save my ovary..but trying to prepare for the whole kit and kaboodle to go... Thank you so much for your comments!

I had my hysterectomy a year ago today. And I cannot tell you how happy I am that I had it. My quality of life now is so much better. It wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I was very anxious like you are. I mean deathly afraid. For a month before my surgery I fretted, I was grumpy all the time because I was just soooo afraid. It really was not bad at all. It really wasn't. So try not to let the fear of the unknown swallow you up. It's really a waste of energy. 90% of what we worry about never happens. Hugs!

Hi,
I just had my hysterectomy 3 weeks ago and am feeling pretty good! What uterus! You mean that grapefut size thing that they took out that caused me to bleed almost every day of the month! Hell No! Sister. Don't miss it. Besides, I don't feel any different.

I did worry before the surgery. Armed myself with information, and went to the chat that they have here online. Felt like I knew what was going to happen when the surgery happened.

Just stay on this site for support. We all, in different ways, understand your feelings! The anxiety, the stress, the doubts, the sadness. It's all very normal and we will be here for you every step of the way.

Sending hugs and prayers your way!

Thanks everyone! I'm so glad I found y'all!!

I think it is an emotional thing to lose our female organs even if they aren't working right and are only giving pain. What you are feeling is perfectly normal, and I've seen many, many women post on this forum about the feeling of loss.

However, after my hysterectomy (11 months ago), I didn't look any different, and didn't experience any real changes. It was more the mental idea of losing my uterus that bothered me. Part of me felt emotionally like I was an "it" instead of a woman. But in reality, I still look pretty much the same as I did a year ago and I feel like I'm still the same person. The bottom line, is that with our without our "female" organs, every single cell in our bodies has the XX pair of chromosomes that makes us women, and that can't be taken away from us.

You will find many kind, compassionate women on the website who are either going through the same thing you are, or who have come out the other side of it. I'm glad you found this site.

Hi, I am having surgery on 3-11. Huge fibroid on the outside of my uterus, never ever had any problems ever. I go to the Dr. once a year just like you're supposed to. I am flabbergasted about my surgery, am mourning my female parts as well. I am 49, still having periods regular as clockwork, menopause nowhere in sight, jealous of the ones who have been through it and are period free.
My sister had hysterectomy 10 yrs ago. Her exact words to me were "I don't miss that organ one bit" Sis in law said " I don't miss all that period sh*t at all!" It's been 15 yrs for her. Not one single woman I have talked to about it regretted it at all. Sex is better, life is better, white pants, white shorts, white skirts, all can be worn all summer any time you want, no worries!!! Woo Hoo. No more soaking underwear because of period accidents, no more carrying pads, tampons, no more cramps, bloating, bleeding, anemia, low iron, etc etc etc. You can buy new panties and throw away all your "period panties!" that's what I am doing. They have all told me how freeing it is. More energy, didn't know how bad they felt until they felt better. You will get over missing your uterus, once your have your life back. That's what they all say, hope they're right, hope their words help you as much as they are helping me. Good luck.