Question about being alone, DH has to have eye surgery

I know I have alot to say...writing is my way of coping with things, so if any of you think I am talking to much , just tell me to hush, lol.
So anyways, I wanted to add something that I dont think I have mentioned. My DH has type 1 diabetes. Last Thursday he had a retinal hemmorhage in his left eye, leaving him partially blind, all he can see is a big blur and everything is red when he looks at lights. So I had to take him to Lexington, UK hospital to see a eye surgeon and they did a laser surgery on his eye. 1 down, several to go. His right eye is in the same bad shape as his left except it hasnt hemmorhaged yet. So the monday after my surgery he has to go back ( they wanted him to come back on Friday, but that's my surgery date ) They will do surgery on his right eye leaving him temporarily blind in BOTH eyes. And then again a few days later on his left eye, etc etc, until the problem is corrected. His DR there said he'd get to know him better than he wanted too, lol. So here's my question. Should I make arrangements for someone to come be with me on Monday ( just a couple of days after my surgery, a LAVH ) or will I be able to take care of myself by then. I am also wondering how he will be able to take care of the rest of the family if he is blind in both eyes for a couple of days. My mom lives almost 2 hours away, and she is planning on coming down here for a night, because she cant stay gone long because she is my step dad's caregiver ( he has had 2 brain stem strokes and is paralyzed ) but my sister was to be be taking care of him overnight. But now she has doubts if she can do that because she doesnt know how she will feel by then because this thursday she is having a lapo and D&C ( we have the same problems but since she doesnt have children yet they wont do a hyster on her at this point ). My DH's dad will be the one taking him to lexington for his surgery on Monday, and his mom will have to work, she is a teacher and can't get off to take care of me. What she is doing to help out is letting my DD ride the bus to her school and watching her until Greg gets home. She may also let her spend the night on Sunday night as well. Should I just tell my mom that it will be okay, she doesnt have to worry about coming down here monday, or maybe see if a friend can just stop in and check on me at some point durring the day? Greg will be leaving for Lex at 7 am, and prolly wont get home until 6 that night. Is that a safe time for me to be alone? I don't really want to be just in case something happens. But then again, maybe I will be fine. I just wont know until the day comes, but plans have to be made in advance. I worry about if something happens to the kids at school and I cant go get them, or something like that, or if I try to get up to walk and fall. Just general worry going through my head. I always think too much about the "what if's". But I'm a planner and I have to know what will happen, lol.

Dear ToxicBette,

Wow, you have a lot going on. I know that noone wants to postpone their surgery, but have you considered putting your surgery off for a few weeks so you can help your DH recover from his surgery first? That way, you can help him and he will then be able to help you.

One of my concerns, after reading your story, is that both you and DH will be needing attenion. I am thinking that being blind would be quite an adjustment to make.

About your recovery, I know that I didn't really need much help for me. I could walk without help, though slowly because of pain mostly. I did need someone to walk behind me while I walked up the stairs for the first couple of days because of the pain meds I was taking. You don't say how old your children are. Can they fend for themselves (and you and DH) for a few days with microwave meals and sandwiches? My kids were 10 and 12, and they were a lot of help, not only with meals, but with general house cleaning. I wasn't able to do much, but I wasn't bed-ridden either.

Perhaps you should talk to his surgeon and yours and let them know the whole story with both of you needing surgery. They should be able to tell what the limitations will be for the both of you.

Best Wishes for what ever decision you and DH make regarding your surgeries.

,
Kay

Hi just going to give you a bit of my own experience. I also did not need alot of help coming home from hospital. got a bit light headed after standing too long but other than that i had no problems taking care of myself. My biggest challenge was getting out of the bath tub. so I hope this helps and that all goes well with your surgery.
Take care and stay safe
Wanda

Well, the only thing about postponing my surgery is that my insurance runs out on April 1st, so we are in a bit of a time restraint as well. So if I put it off, it would be putting it off for a year, because as soon as my insurance runs out I am going on my DH's and there is a year waiting period for pre-exsisting. His blindness will only last maybe a day or 2 in his right eye. We're not sure how long it will last in his left eye. Our kids are 5 and 7 yrs old.

Oh dear. The insurance issue does complicate things.

It will probably be safe for you to be alone as along as you have access to a phone. Be sure and let your Dr know you will be alone before he releases you. I don't know if you will need anyone to actually come by to check on you, but maybe ask someone to give you a call just to make sure things are ok? Also, do you know a responsible teen who might be interested in spending some after school time entertaining your children? At 5 and 7, they may not be much help, but they can do minimal things to help you out. Don't worry about housework, it will still be there when you are healed. At your supervision, they can do things like load the washer and dryer. Maybe it would help to stock up on paper plates and plastic ware.

With some planning, you will be able to do this. Just don't try to be superwoman or expect the kids to be superkids. In my personal experience, that just leads to frustration.

Maybe someone with some experience healing with young children will be able to give you some more pointers.

s and Best Wishes to you,
Kay

Thanks Kay for all your kind words and suggestions. I do have someone who is watching my DD after school ( my MIL ) and today on my trip to wal mart I stocked up on plates, cups, and plasticwares. So far, my house is pretty clean. I've been obsessivly cleaning it this past week. I think we will be okay. I have some friends who have volunteered to check on me and my mom is going to ask another friend of mine if she can pay him to clean our house a little bit ( like load dishwasher, etc, just lite stuff ) I'm sure he will agree to it. It's my DH's best friend. I'm hoping to just sleep alot the first few days. Not even having to think about it, haha. Thats one way to get my mind off of it all. Thanks to all who have replied! **HUGS**