My mother-in-law is making me crazy!!!

I am scheduled for LAVH/BSO on August 17th. It was not something that I particularly wanted to do, but after talking at length with my doctor, spending hours on this and other websites and talking it over with my husband and all the female members of my own family, I decided that this was the best course for me.
My husband mentioned it to his mom on the phone and warned me, "she says she's going to try to talk you out of it." We are having a reunion for his entire extended family at our place this weekend. I not only have to get my house in order, but plan and prepare meals for 45 people for the entire event. My M-i-l showed up early to "help" me. (She makes me a nervous wreck.) And the first thing she does is present me with a book entitled "You Don't Need a Hysterectomy." (What I don't need is her here right now.)
My husband told her that I am an intelligent, bright woman who knows my own mind and my own body and that I would make the best decision for myself. Her response was to tell me that I'd better get that book read before the weekend because her daughter and daughter-in-law would be there for the reunion and they all plan to "work on me" when they get here.
On top of all this I am having the period from H*%%!! I guess I don't really expect any advice (although if anybody's got some I'll take it.) I really just needed to vent.
Pray for me. It would really put a damper on the reunion if I end up killing someone while they're here! LOL Anyway, guess I feel a little better just getting it off my chest. Ain't life fun?!

I'm getting more and more comfortable with my decision not to inform too many people ahead of time. This is no one else's business and HOW DARE THEY try to influence your decision.

My advice would be to refuse to embark on any discussion of the matter with them. A kind but firm"I appreciate your concern, but this decision is non-negotiable." is a good reply. Don't let them bait you into revealing extent of symptoms or diagnosis, because they will try to dissuade you on a point by point basis.

Ginger,

I can totally understand how you feel- mine will drive me crazy at times too!

However that is why i have decided not to even tell “them”...my side of the family knows but DH’s does not...

All you really have to ask yourself is "are you comfortable with your decision?"

Obviously so ...since we are waiting for our date in the castle.... don’t let them bother you...give MIL a dear Abby book on etiquette...

Take care!

Robin,
I'd give her the "Dear Abby" book, but she wouldn't read it! She gives advice, she doesn't take it. Sorry to sound like such a crab-apple! Ginger

Some people will drive you crazy! Dont let them stress you out...keep in mind that they care about you! Evidently the ones that give us a hard time about it do not have trouble and pain with their monthly visits!!
Before my surgery, I had one good week a month...now I feel great and I dont regret my decision at all!
This site helped me soooo much, i hope it does the same for you!

Stymie,

Waiting for a hyst can be a very stressful time. And then we have to add the family!!

I could suggest you have your DH intervene, since it sounds like he brought up your hyst with his mom. He could tell your MIL to back off with all the other female family members and if ANYONE wants to talk about YOUR hyst, they need to go through him first.

Wow...you don't need your MIL and her DD's storm' down the door with their views on your body!! Geez...women. Why do we do that??

Maybe there is a hidden agenda. I could suggest if your MIL does not back off, flip it, and start talking about HER gyneo history. Maybe she had a possible hyst "lurking" in her background and she does not want to share it.

I had that happen. During my post-op, my mom shared with me that her Dr. had suggested she have a hyst for fibroids. She didn't and she had never told me that.

So...stay tough. We Hyster Sisters are here to help you!!

I never had problems with my mother-in law on my decision to have A hysterectomy but My own side of the family thought I was too young I am 31 and had my surgery May14th.I am so glad I did.I had to make up my own mine .I ts my body.I dont have any kids of my own 2 step kids but I know I would love to adopt some day if I decide the time is right.I know alot of people try to help .You have to make your own decision.We are here for you hyster sisters.

MY in-laws think I have had all these surgeries to get attention. It doesn't matter what I do, it's always wrong.

What can we do? I fantasize about sending my inlaws a Big Lots vase full of ashes with their son's name written on it, and telling them I'm sorry they didn't make it in time for the funeral. Bwhahaha. I'd never have to deal with them again. (They do nothing for the kids' birthdays, so it's not like there'd be any loss on our part.)

You don't need the stress.

Have you considered lying to her? NO, forget I said that. My bad.

Hi,

My MIL is very sweet but seems to be expecting me to drop dead at any moment. She keeps saying things like "at least when they have opened you up they will be able to see if there is anything terribly wrong in there"! Cheerful.

One of the girls at work seems to thing that I have requested a hyst just for fun or attention. I had to explain to her that I did not have a choice. She is under the impression that I will be having a wonderful lazy summer off work while she will be left to do all the work. She told another colleague that she is the one people should feel sorry for, not me!

My mum had a hyst a few years ago and when I told her I was having one she said "Oh my god, it was awful, you will feel terrible for months....etc" then went on to say I should remain upbeat and optimistic. Bless her.

I think we need to ignore all the negative stuff. Sisters unite! We will be fine, we will take as long as WE need to recover, not as long as someone else tells us. We are doing the right thing.

xxxx

xxxxx

Maybe we should just buy big boxes of rubber stoppers and some super glue....