Scheduled dVH/RALH dilemma husband and 4yr old during surgery (bring 4-yr old to the hospital with DH or leave with grandma?) - Page 2 | Preparing for Hysterectomy (pre hysterectomy) | HysterSisters
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dilemma husband and 4yr old during surgery (bring 4-yr old to the hospital with DH or leave with grandma?) dilemma husband and 4yr old during surgery (bring 4-yr old to the hospital with DH or leave with grandma?)

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  #11  
Unread 08-26-2015, 06:50 AM
Re: dilemma husband and 4yr old during surgery (bring 4-yr old to the hospital with DH or leave with grandma?)

To be honest - a hospital is not a good place for a 4 year old.
I have to children and when they were small I had to undergo 2 procedures . One included 3 nights in the hospital (kids were 1 and 3) and the other one was same day surgery (they were about the same age 1 and 3).
They were giving me a ride to the hospital but once I was there, I send them home. For one procedure we had grandma (who is also not that good of a choice but was the only one) babysit when husband picked me up.
The day surgery neighbors watched both kids in the afternoon so he could be there in the wake up room and take me home.
Since it is hard for you to get a babysitter for that day - I wonder if you can afford to pay for somebody to babysit him, check local boards in libraries for example or ask around.
And the other idea - if you are a member of a church or similar, they may be able to help you out. When other members got word that I was having major surgery they offered help! So you can try that as well and reach out. In my spiritual community people even show up with cooked meals when you have surgery so I wonder if somebody would be able to babysit for the day.

Good luck!
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  #12  
Unread 08-26-2015, 07:17 AM
Re: dilemma husband and 4yr old during surgery (bring 4-yr old to the hospital with DH or leave with grandma?)

I also agree that being in the hospital for hours would probably be very difficult for a child that age. He would have to be quiet and still, and going to a dr appt with you is not the same thing as seeing you with iv, catheter, sedated, etc. also your poor husband will be worrying about how surgery is going all the while trying to leap the child entertained and calm. And you very well might not be up to seeing your child immediately after surgery. I would leave him with grandma at your house and he can greet you when you arrive, all safe and sound. I understand the anxiety you feel, we all felt very anxious before our surgeries, but really, it will all be ok!
  #13  
Unread 08-26-2015, 11:25 AM
Re: dilemma husband and 4yr old during surgery (bring 4-yr old to the hospital with DH or leave with grandma?)

I understand you want your child there, but this could be a very long day for him. Ask yourself, is it really fair to him to spend the entire day in a waiting room? In some hospitals, if the spouse is available by phone, that is acceptable, you'll want to clarify that. The fact that your son has had to be in ER, etc, does not make it a good situation and the plan should be made based on what is best and age appropriate, since you have time to plan. I know this is difficult for you, I hope you can make a decision right for your family.
  #14  
Unread 08-26-2015, 12:34 PM
Re: dilemma husband and 4yr old during surgery (bring 4-yr old to the hospital with DH or leave with grandma?)

How do you feel about going to the hospital on your own? I did. All of my family lives down in the States. As it turned out, a friend of mine who lives in my surgery city dropped by while I was waiting to be taken to the OR. She was also there when I woke up. The was nice of her to do, but it wasn't something I'd expected and it wasn't critical for me to have.

As for having a family member there to make decisions, my friend can't make medical decisions for me. My healthcare POA is my sister in New Mexico. If a decision had needed to be made, the hospital would have had to call Sis.

So having a family member present isn't absolutely required. It depends on how you feel about it. Would it work for you for your husband and son to drop you off in the morning - give them both a big hug! - and then come back to pick you up when you're ready to be released?
  #15  
Unread 08-26-2015, 01:05 PM
Re: dilemma husband and 4yr old during surgery (bring 4-yr old to the hospital with DH or leave with grandma?)

Thanks everyone.. I will leave him home.. now to decide if hubby or great grandma will come to hospital with me... oh and one comment suggested to hire someone to watch my son.. I wouldn't NEVER do that.. in his 4yrs alive I've maybe had him watched by a friend or his Gma 4 times in this later yr total in his life!! I don't trust anyone
  #16  
Unread 08-26-2015, 08:50 PM
Re: dilemma husband and 4yr old during surgery (bring 4-yr old to the hospital with DH or leave with grandma?)

thankyou everyone for the advice... after talking it over with my husband again we agreed that he will come with me to the hospital and we will leave our son with my husbands grandma instead of his mom... chances are his mom will either be too sick to watch him (which happens often) or she will be in arkansas with my sister bc shes having or may have already had her baby (due around the same time as surgery) so it just works out better all around that way... thanks again sooo much the advice and comments really helped with the decision and put me at peace
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