TAH: How do you tell people?

Too funny. I know that for me I only told close friends. I had people who told me when I should be back working, why I didn't need to use the elevator, how I setting a bad example for our patients(I work in therapy) and on and on. I have had times where I just joked about needing surgery saying "My doc told me that he needed a new Porsche and I am buying it for him." and just keeping it very vague.

Hi Nichole,

It isn't easy, being a fairly private person, to find ways to tell people. I decided to be very matter-of-fact that I was having major surgery. There were people outside my immediate family who needed to know. If they didn't ask, I didn't say it's a hysterectomy. If they did ask, that's the word I used. My closest friends and family know why, and that's it.

You definitely don't owe anyone details that they don't need to know, and it's okay to say "That's all the information I want to give out right now." If cancer has been ruled out, your friends would probably appreciate being reassured about that.

Good luck with your surgery

I'm an open book. I just tell people that I'm having a hysterectomy. Of course I only work part time now and I don't have a schedule at work or anything, I just go in when it works for me so I don't have to deal with getting time off or any of that. I've had people ask me and everyone has been supportive, I've had people offer to watch my kids, help with all of the school stuff that will be starting up next week etc. Oddly enough I've had more offers from friends than from my family, which isn't suprising to me. But, I don't get offended by things or embarassed by things so I don't feel the need to keep it secret or anything. I guess you just have to do what works for you, maybe just tell them you are going on a long vacation or something

I lied to my co-workers, because I did not want them to keep on worrying about me. I told my boss and my co-workers that I was bleeding too much and my uterus was "falling out," so I had to have a hysterectomy.

The bad thing was that one co-worker was nosy and wanted to know where my surgery was going to be done.
I told her it was going to be at a different hospital.
Why? The surgery was going to be actually performed at a famous local cancer hospital.

I did not want the constant stream of questions: How is your cancer?
What is your prognosis? Have you had any PET or CT scans lately?
How do you feel? Are you going to have to have radiation and/or chemo?
Etc. etc. etc.......
Since I only had pre-cancer, and I had the hysterectomy to avoid cancer in the future, I hope that I am O.K.
I feel O.K. for now, so I am going to keep on working.

As far as my friends and family, they know. I just do not carry on and elaborate with every family gathering or meeting.

I'm just diligent with my care and I want "the beast" to stay away.
I realize that no one can control the future with "Cancerhead," but I at least have to do my part.

I have taken the "don't care what people think" route. I have been so sick for so long that it is a relief and have made no secret of what is going on and how long I will be off for. Everyone has been supportive but some are sad for me because we don't have any children. In the end I would rather be childless and healthy than in chronic pain hoping for a miracle to have a child. Good luck with your decision xo

I'm overwhelmed but the outpouring of suggestions and support. I actually ended up having an impromptu get together this evening and was able to talk about this with a few friends. I gave them my blessing to share my news with anyone that inquired. That way of someone was concerned enough to ask then they would be told. If not, they can ask me when I return to my "regularly scheduled programming" in a few weeks. You all are amazing! Thank you so much.

I have only told my closest friends and I'm planning to keep it that way. I don't work outside the home, but I do belong to a very close knit church congregation. There are certain ladies in this congregation who just "feed" off of people's personal information - I've seen it many times. So, I'm determined they not know what I'm going through. I figure that my mom will be here for 2 weeks to help me and my family as much as possible. Then, my DH will be off work for week 3 to help. After that, the friends that I've told are on "standby" to assist with dinners, carpool, whatever. I miss church at least once a month due to bleeding-to-death-periods, so I think people are somewhat used to that (although they think I'm staying home with a migraine ) and may not notice my absence for a couple weeks. That's my plan anyway - hopefully it works! I just do not need nosey women during this time. If I am forced to talk about the surgery, I was just going to keep it casual and pass it off as a "health or stomach issue".

First things first: I was totally open with everyone about the hysterectomy. I'm normally a private person, but I've been really outspoken about cervical cancer and HPV and getting pap smears regularly to prevent this kind of thing. I guess I was using my situation as an example of what can happen. I guess just do what you feel comfortable with.

Secondly, if you want to change the date here, click on User CP, then click on Edit Your Details. Scroll down and you'll find the spot to do that.

Good luck, sweetie.

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Originally Posted by sweethoneybee09 I have seen situations where some of my co-workers discussing another co-workers medical issues and procedure. Strangely, these co-workers automatically become doctors and make determinations as to when that co-worker should be back to work. Their "determination" could be based on their own experience or the experiences of a person they know, not taking into account that each person's experience is different. I just dont feel like getting into all of that or possibly opening myself up to their assumptions.

My experiance too with some people. It drives me crazy!!!
So far I got .... 'had my ovarie out - back to work in 2 weeks'
'my neighbor was back to normal after a few weeks - you should be able to enjoy yourself after the first 4 weeks'

I try to not let it bother me - but I still think I should not have to justify why my doc thinks I need x-amount of time to recover - non of their business.

Anyhow - I started with telling people that I will have major surgery done which only let to questions or inquiering looks for more info. Now I just say hysterectomy with bladder repair - usually makes the guy's squirm
When I handed my boss my doctors note he took one look at the letter head - Ob Gyn etc. - did not even read the think - just said ok, no problem - obviously not something he wanted to know more about

	Quote:
Originally Posted by Sophima Anyhow - I started with telling people that I will have major surgery done which only let to questions or inquiering looks for more info. Now I just say hysterectomy with bladder repair - usually makes the guy's squirm When I handed my boss my doctors note he took one look at the letter head - Ob Gyn etc. - did not even read the think - just said ok, no problem - obviously not something he wanted to know more about

I am the only female in my company (I'm an engineer which is a very male dominated profession) so I haven't really had to explain much either. I have told the ones who asked that I will be having the hysterectomy and they don't ask for the details.