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Dear Husbands Dear Husbands

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Unread 05-27-2002, 06:28 PM
Dear Husbands

My DH is worried sick over my health, and that makes me worried about him. He is not good at handling the little things in life. That has always been MY job. :inlove:

I catch him looking at me sometimes when he thinks I won't see. I've tried to talk to him about this, and he listens, but I don't think he is really letting himself hear. I don't want to scare him, but I want him to be prepared for whatever may come.

He is already being the pillow police. (The Dr. mentioned that my cyst could break.) I tried to do a little yard work this weekend since I won't be able to for awhile, and he made me stop. Just wouldn't let me do anything!

I don't have any worries about him cooking and cleaning while I am laid up, he is good at that! But the emotional toll is going to be hard on him. And that makes me feel like I can't let myself go. I can't imagine how he would react if I had some of the experiences I've read about here!

Oh well, I guess it's time for him to learn how to be the nurse rather than the patient. (He's had numerous injuries/surgeries throughout our 30 year marriage!) It is going to be hard to make myself concentrate on me for a change! LOL
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Unread 05-27-2002, 06:47 PM
Dear Husbands

Oh Lynn, you are such a lucky girl! Your dear hubby reminds me of my DH. He will be fine. Mine is still watching my every move and it's been 4 months. I think they love us so much that the thought of something happening to us scares them. Those times when you catch him looking at you, :eyes: well, just think what is going through his mind. 30 years is a long time and during those years we tend to just assume our companian will always be there AND be strong. I had never had surgery, always took care of things, him ,the boys, everything. I do believe this hits them like a ton of bricks. My dh took off work 2 weeks, said he wanted to be the one to take care of me for a change. Try to hug him a lot and tell him how much his caring means to you. You two are so lucky to be in
's Karlene
Unread 05-27-2002, 07:01 PM
Dear Husbands

I have a feeling he's going to surprise you. When we really need them, sometimes they come through in ways we never expect.

After 30 years, I know you don't need to be told, but marriage is a give & take...and that includes taking turns being cared for or freaking out.

You're going to get to see him in action...let him take care of you for a change! He may find he likes it. And look what a great role model he had to learn how to be a caregiver!!!

You're both gonna do fine!!


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Unread 05-29-2002, 05:12 PM
In tears


You have me in tears on this one. (course I've been in tears alot the last few weeks!) Thank you for the outside view. I know he loves me, and I'll try to keep that in mind as I sit in my barren back yard this summer! LOL

You are right. I really am sure he will do alright. Tonight he cooked a meal for me that actually turned out better than I would do it! So at least I won't starve.

I AM lucky to have him. We celebrate our 30th anniversary on June 24, only a few weeks after my surgery. (Sorry dear, no traditional whoppie this year! LOL)

Anyway, thanks ladies, I'll keep you up-dated on his nursing prowess.

p.s. Guess what I just got, six days before my surgery. DH figures somebody up there doesn't like him! LOL
Unread 05-29-2002, 09:04 PM
Dear Husbands

Hi Ladies,

Tomorrow is our 26th wedding anniversary .....Friday morning at 7:30 is my TAH....Doc said we could go out for dinner tomorrow night, & no prep necessary. Is it necessary to have a very light dinner? She didn't indicate so....but what do you all think. I thought I would be tough....I've been through so much in the last four years.....but I'm feeling queasy right now.....Thanks for being there....
Unread 05-29-2002, 11:20 PM

He's a lot the same as yours - nervous and worried about me. He will be great, because he has been great for me before - although the cooking thing is not his strong suite - o well, I've stocked up on soups and applesauce, so I'll be just fine.

Today is our 20th wedding anniversary and we've been through a lot in those years - but we're really proud that we've made it through and more in love than ever. He had both of his knees totally replaced in January and I took 3 weeks off to nurse him and then hovered every minute I could. I still do a little bit. We're looking forward to after my recovery and think that with our new bods, we'll be in terrific shape for the next 20 years. Both kids will be out of the house after next year so we're planning fun things like cruises and mountain treks. I'm sooooo looking forward to not having to deal with the endo and cramping problems - I had one of the worst attacks in my life right in the middle of a big SCUBA trip - it was horrible.

Take Care - and cherise every minute with him. A good neighbor and friend of ours lost her husband last week to a heart attack and she is insisting that we all know and remember to really appreciate and support each other every day in every way that we can.

God Bless



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