Has anyone ever felt like an "It" post-op?

I had a phone conversation with my mother who told me after my surgery that I would become an "it" instead of a woman. I, of coarse, got very upset.....I will still have breasts and ovaries. What's her reason for saying such a hurtful thing?

Well, I don't have a uterus or ovaries anymore, but I still have breast and a vagina....So that makes me a woman. I don't feel any different now that they are gone (other than the pain is gone and no more bleeding). Also, my DH still sees me as a woman...(he is happy man now that I don't cry afterwards or during anymore and he doesn't have to wait until the bleeding stops)

GOOD LUCK to you and don't let what your mom said bother you.

That is a pretty hurtful thing to say, was she joking? We have xx chromosomes and all the packaging of women, just because our reproductive organs get cranky and diminish our quality of life resulting in them being removed does not constitute us becoming any less of a woman., it means freedom and a better quality of life to pursue happiness and our dreams.

almostuterless,

How sad ! I *do* know that it's very normal to take out frustrations on those we love. Not that we intend to hurt our loved ones, but we tend to have less of an emotional barrier up. As a result, hurtful remarks and "looks' can be made towrds those that we trust & love most.

How you handle that remark depends upon how brave and/or emotional you are. You may just want to set it aside for now, and at a later date bring up how deeply that comment hurt you as a woman, as a human being. Or, if your relationship is rocky and struggling to begin with, you may want to try to just let it go.

Lots of to you!! Take care hon!
Heather

I do understand how you feel. I had a "friend" tell me that same thing - that I would be an "it" after my hyst. I cried and cried. Then I realized that she was just clueless and thought that she was being funny. My DH ( Great guy ) told me that it's not our body parts that make us a woman - it's our hearts and soul.
Please try to put that out of your mind; you will still be a woman

I really think that most people don't intend to mean mean - they just don't think it through sometimes.

S S

I have never felt like an "it". It blows my mind that someone would say that. How rude and insensitive!

Don't even let it bother you. Put it out of your mind. You have mor eimportant things to think about, like getting your surgery done and recovering.

Best of luck to you.

Shame on your mother! You just by your birthright are unique! How wonderful to be a woman! You are special among all of these other special sisters! You will not be an "it" you will be someone, someone who is going to have a better quality of life! Someone who will have the love, support and encouragement of a great guy and lots of sisters who will be praying, waiting, and going through it with you!!!


Bobbie in Idaho

TVH, anterior repair, TOT sling

what a hurtful thing for anyone to say you were born a woman and will always be one. try not to let such hurtful things bother you. you will see that after your surgery, you will feel so much better.

That's a terrible thing to say to someone who is going thru what you're going thru!

I have a blog and one of the women who comment said that her girlfriend had to have a hysterectomy and looked at it this way (which I LOVED the way she put it):

"I no longer have a crib....I now have a playpen!"

That's the way I'm going to look at it!

I feel more like a vibrant healthy woman now than I have for many years. I have more energy, and am just healthier.

Our being a woman isn't determined by how many body parts we have, but by our DNA. No matter how many body parts are removed to save ones life, or give back quality of life, we will always be women, with women hearts and souls. ((((Thank you to Jean's DH))))

s
Kay