Scared - need all the support I can get

Hi all,

Last week my OBGY told me that I need to have a hysterectomy - My uterus is 12 weeks, it may either be adenomyosis or seedling fibriods.

I'm 32 years old. I have three kids- babies really - ages 4, 2 1/2 and 1.

I feel so down - like if it's a form of death for me. I worry about going into menopause and what that will do to my husband and kids ( I already am very volatile at PMS time), I wonder wat will be the impact on my sex life and my life as a whole.

I kmow that there is much for me to be thankful for but I feel so down!
Plus the discomfort is unbelievable - I feel as though I'm in the last stages of a pregnancy! I sit with my legs open and therer's this weight on my lower abdomen! Someone please tell me that it will be ok!

I can not speak for all but can tell you honestly for me it was the absolute right decision and have no regrets. I had a 24 week uterus and such severe anemia that I am shocked I did not keel over this year - as are others - and have been kicking myself that I attributed my growth spurt to middle age spread at age 42 and my fatigue to burn out -I am way too wrapped up in my job and had put off my yearly for three years as I was just "too" busy. I opted to keep my ovaries based on my doctors decision on findings while he was in there as I have no family history in order to progress "naturally" in to menopause - recommended by an auntie as the way to go as she had this done in her 30's and keps hers.

This decision was scary as it is a major surgery, but for easy for me. It meant removing the pressure my fibroids were placing on my internal organs - I was also dignosed with kidney stones in and ER which is where this journey actually started, getting my waistline back and feeling like a normal human being again.

My doctor - who is fantastic - managed to get get everthing out via bikini cut - lap or vag was not an option due to size - so I avoided a lateral incision which I did not want which was great. I did have some early initial post op low BP issues due to epidural, and what they call sticky lung from anethesia and quitting smoking 2 weeks prior. and I also had a tranfusion before - in order to get my blood count up enough to do surgery - and after to get my blood count back up, but once I got through these issues in the first 24 hours it was an easy run from there. I was bathing and getting out of bed myself by day two. My sister had flown in to support me and she flew home at the end fo week three as I had no real need for her.

I found and truly believe that positive thinking and focus on what you are gaining versus what you are losing is the way to go here. I went through the various what ifs like any other but I made sure to schedule my hyster in a timely basis and would always weigh the what if I dos against the what if I don'ts and do won very time. I have encountered no problems with arousal and actually found and still find my drive to be increased post surgery. Orgasm has not been a problem . I have not done a live run - single, not dating anyone and do not feel like calling a friend to do a test drive - but given the amount of force used during my 6 week check up am not expecting any issues when the time comes. I am not longer anemic as of last week end am amazed at the difference in how I feel.

Recovery is a process as this is major surgery. I have a tendency to get OCD - first and fastest being the goal - and sure enough had to push myself during recovery to see how far I could go which has put me a step back or two a couple of times - nothing major at this point just inconvenient. Letting things happen naturally and realizing even though you may not feel any pain things are still healing inside so don't overdue. I am still struggling with this every day - I just got off the phone and am frustrated that my coworkers are treating me like porcelain. I am lucky in this regard and am also lucky that I have full faith in my doctor which is a godsend for me as I am not second guessing his every decision.

I am so glad I made the decision to move forward and truly wish your experience turns out as positive as mine has been....

Hugs to ya....it is ok to be scared and confused...you will be alright!

My first suggestion and most important is get a second opinion. Get a third one if need be.

You should know EXACTLY why you are suppose to get a hysterectomy. I think a lot of fear comes from not knowing the what and whys.

My first doc said right off the bat hysterectomy. After finding this sight and being encouraged to get a second opinion I finally did. Ended up finding a specialist who only deals with gyno problems...BEST MOVE I have made in this journey sooooo far.

Ended up having a myomectomy (removal of fibroid). After that..... if the bleeding and etc did not improve we would do ablation and if that didn't work we would see what we could do. I wasn't against hysterectomy just seemed like a big jump for not really knowing the whats and whys. I was worried about my sex life and my life as a whole. I wanted to be 100% sure it would be the best move because there is no going back.

If you search myomectomy you can find my posts with all the yucky details I was experiencing....which included feeling down....Something is out of whack so keep that in mind when you are not feeling like yourself. It takes a toll when day in and day out you aren't feeling right. The fear can be overwhelming. Kinda like if you had a splinter...first day might not be a big deal but 6 months down the road...it would be very aggrevating and probably causing other symptoms. Educate yourself... it will help.

And finally get yourself a pocket calender and from this moment forward log everyday what you are feeling what are your symptoms physically and emotionally. Keep track of your periods....tampon and pad use. Any other "things" going on. And this is a biggie.....anytime you think of a question write it in the calender so when you go to the doc you can literally pull it out and ask them and write the answers down. I found these to be crucial for my journey. Kept the calender (still do) in my purse and always knew where it was so when I needed it I had it. Figured out writing the answers were good cuz the appts were usually filled with info overload.

Hang in there and keep us posted.
Kris