hubby vent/people vent/just need

ONe week till surgury(LAVH and right ovary) and my period had to show so as I clean and move around im in horrid pain and I ask my husband for help. He was so sweet to come home to help..he came in made some cereal leaving the bowl on floor with milk in it,he laid on couch and took a nap.Well our son started crying and I waddle over there to pick him up stepping in his bowl of milk sliding on floor and then having to get up and get our son(1 year old) and place him in the high chair and get him breakfast well breakfast over I ask hubby to get him down,he slept well needless to say you get the idea.He had to return to work after lunch.So he is gone now.How is that helping me? I am TRYING to remain calm but how do you remain calm knowing your about to have this done without help...I mean my mother in law wont help,im not her "daughter" my mom a workaholic I have me,myself and I to rely on.I have a best friend but he works 2 jobs and is a hour away.How do I do this...I need the surgury but without help I dont know what to do I need help..How do I do this alone...I am breaking down as I write this...sorry my first post is a vent but I am so scared/confussed...

i am the only person i can rely on also...thats always been my attitude after any medical procedure/surgery. my ex was no help at all..i didnt expect any and wasnt disappointed when i didnt get it. i've always made out very well after surgeries..have very quick recoveries. i hope yours is as easy as mine was. the lsh is the least invasive surgery and has the fastest recovery...does your dr perform the lsh?

does your hubby realize how important this surgery is and how major it is?
maybe talk to him, give him info from hystersisters on how major this is. take him to your pre-op and post -op appts.
thats what I did and suddenly hubby was all about helping me.
good luck sister, chris

I feel for you - I think a lot of us are expected to be superwoman - taking care of the kids, the house, the husband, the job, and everything else in between. It's funny - when I had my laps and surgeries before, I just went to bed and pretty much helped myself when I needed it. My husband made me a can of soup that first night, but that is pretty much it.

However, the time came for my husband to have a orthoscopic knee surgery, and you would have thought he had his whole leg removed from the thigh down. He had me carry a folding chair outside about 200 times and put it in different spots so he could smoke without getting the sun in his eyes. I kept thinking, "yeah buddy, I know where I want to put this chair!" And I hated going to the store with him at that point, because he insisted he needed one of those little drive carts instead of walking. Ugh! What a baby!!!!

But, he's a good man and I love him. He's just used to me being the caretaker, and it's hard for him to understand that can't happen. I showed him pics of the procedure (TAH) and what happens. He got involved with my dr. visits and learned about it. I'm nervous about what's going to happen, and we have a seven year old with autism and down syndrome. WHen he has a meltdown, I usually get bruises and bite marks. But, I think it will be ok. I know with my hubby, yelling and getting mad doesn't do any good - it just makes him lazier.

Good luck with everything. Do you guys have a good babysitter that you can trust with your little one? That is the most important thing to me - thankfully my mother helps with my son. My husband can go without clean underwear, but I wanted to make sure my son is taken care of while I am recovering.

Big hugs from Missouri - I hope everything gets better!

hugs to you. i hope everything goes well.

i have simaler thoughts, however i am single and homeless. my family will be taking care of me afterwards. while i am greatful for everything thay do, they aren't very thoughtful. i have no room there, and will be on a mattress on the floor. my last surgery i stayed with them and borrowed my sister's room. she wasn't too receptive about giving up her space and i ended up so frustrated i moved my things into the livingroom and sleept on the couch. i did most everything for myself, and even had to take care of them and my brother, who has palsey, more than a few times.

the lack of understanding about surgery i believe is the issue, that and there are 3 teenagers in the house who are moreinterested in video games and the mall than care-giving.

last time i was up too early, and moved too much. make sure you take it easy. if he is willing, have your dr. talk with your hus. about the procedure as well. perhaps have him watch a video on youtube of the surgery. i found it to be sobering, and informative. i am planning on taking my sister to the pre-op and having my mother watch the videos i found.

Do you attend church, your mother? Perhaps someone from one of the churches might know of a teen that would be a willing "mom's helper" for a minimal fee.

nope. i am a nomad gyspsy type. i am on my own, and am a stranger in this town. i have spirituality in my heart, but it doesn't involve church.

i am thinking perhaps i can ask the neighbor a few doors down to my mother, who had a hysterectomy many years ago, to speak with my family.

thanks for the response.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by stash.ash nope. i am a nomad gyspsy type. i am on my own, and am a stranger in this town. i have spirituality in my heart, but it doesn't involve church. i am thinking perhaps i can ask the neighbor a few doors down to my mother, who had a hysterectomy many years ago, to speak with my family. thanks for the response.

Not sure whats that about because this is my topic and she is answering....But about a teen helper...School is in now and my sitter now a h/s junior and doesn't have time. I don't attend church and my mother more less a hinder then a help. SHe will start bellyaching over my dish order(the number of plates I own or style of them) or that I use this soap or that toliet tissue...SO yeah that wont help much then I'd want to lay out the hubby and mother in law.The ladies above saying they were able to hold there own is GREAT.I will be having a LAVH IF he can do that as of now thats the plan if not he will be cutting me while in the OR. Hope that helps

sorry!!!!!!!!!!

i guess i wasn't paying attention

thats fine i was like ok she answer my ? then i seen your post above mine.Its all good I was just confused