I'm starting to struggle with this decision (children and miscarraiges mentioned)

I am now 10 days away from my surgery and has really been hitting me emotionally the past few days. I did a very good job of putting it to the back of my mind since it was scheduled a couple months ago, but now that it is almost here I am breaking down. What if I made the wrong decision. I had to decide to try for another baby soon, live with the pain for as long as I can, or have the hysterectomy. My husband and I have been talking about if we should have another child or not since our second was born. We thought we were happy with what we have and 3 might just be too hard for us to handle as they would all be very close in age. I think about what it would be like to have 3 children under 4 years old and I know that I would probably be miserable and exhausted and I don't really want to go there, but the thought of never being able to have another child is eating away at me right now. I see pictures of the kids as babies and it makes me want to cry. It is hard to think that I will never watch another child go through all the stages they go through again. As my daughter(18 months) keeps learning new things and doing such cute things, I think about how this will be the last time I watch a child learn these things. Maybe it is hard for everyone when they finally decide they are done having kids or can't anymore, but I thought this would be easier since I had already known I was done having kids. What if I change my mind in a year and then it is no longer possible? I have lived with the pain this long, should I just stick it out longer just in case? I am also so worried about how my kids are going to do during my recovery. My daughter isn't going to understand why I can't be with her all the time and can't pick her up. This is just such a hard decision and I didn't think it would be this hard emotionally.

I don't think anyone will argue that this is the one of the most, if not the most, emotional surgery there is. For all sorts of reasons from the inability to have children again or at all, for some the loss of the sense of womanhood, and for others maybe the thought of cancer. I really have not read a single post that at some time a sister did not feel some sense of loss. I have never had children so can not speak to the inability to have more children, but have seen many that have chosen this surgery so that they can enjoy the children they have more. It was a quality of life choice for them. For me it was that and the ever present threat of a disease that could turn into something nasty if not taken care of. You are the one that needs to make that decision and know if it is the best for you and only you. No one will say the decision is easy or not emotional. How can it not be. The last few days before your surgery are always the worse because they are filled with what ifs. Take a deep breathe and really think through why you decided on the surgery and if it is still true today. If it is, then you probably made the right choice. Most sisters on here wished they had done this sooner. Me, I wasn't ready emotionally before, but being on here really helped me get to that peace. Hope you can get there as well.

Like goldensrus said, this is a difficult surgery to deal with - emotionally, mentally and physically. And as the surgery date approaches, these emotions can intensify. This is very normal. I do not have kids - and this surgery upset me. I also found myself noticing babies and pregnant women more - and I do not even want kids.

Whether this is the right surgery for you at this time - only you can answer that with the input from your doctor. You can also get a second opinion. There is a finality to this, so you do need to be sure. Make sure you make the right decision for you and your health.

I haven't scheduled my surgery yet, but I am wondering about those same feelings. Like you we have 2 children and decided we are done, but the "what if" is hard to swallow. I am so sorry you are struggling, but I would guess it's a normal route of emotions to go through. I know if I go ahead with it, I will feel a sense of loss just that I can not have more children, even though at this time it's not something we want. (((hugs)))

I'm 2 1/2 weeks post-op, and still question this surgery. I have 2, but always wanted more. This is one of the hardest decisions ever, please think carefully. If you still think there is even a chance you will want more, and you have even somewhat of a choice or can get another opinion, etc., I would think twice. Not trying to discourage you, just wish I had the money, time, etc. to have been able to put this off at least another year. Good luck to you, not many people (except ones on here) know how difficult and life changing this can be to many of us. Wishing you the best...

I've not had children either but at my age that side of thinks does not concern me now. Reading your post , you sound as though in a couple of years you would make ideal parents to adopt. You will have your health back by then and your children will be a little older so maybe worth thinking about.

i too am in the same problem.My surgery is less then two weeks away but i went though too much to get the two i have now and dr says it would be to dangerous to have another because of uturus being in such bad shape and fallen the way it is,it all depends on your overall health and willingness to suffer longer with the pains and problems if you do not have the surgery now.as for me i am done lucky to have the two girls i have and one angel baby in heaven so i say for myself i am done and need to thing of my health so i can take care of my two that god blessed me with

I am in the same boat. I keep telling myself that everything is fine and this is the right choice. We have been blessed with 3 beautiful children and lost 4 others in pregnancy. I know that we don't ant any more both for my health and for my husband's and my sanity. The sense of loss is starting to overwhelm me though. I know we don't want any more but what if something happens? Not being able to just seems so final. I know this is a deeply personal decision for each of us and I have to trust this is the right decision for me. That being said I am halfway through cleaning the whole house from top to bottom to keep myself distracted. LOL