at wits end

Well my surgery has been rescheduled for aug 7. My help for after surgery just cancelled today. I still won't know many things untill after surgery, like if she will be removing one ovary or both, the cervix or not, or if she will have to open me up completely because she suspects endo. My husband is only taking off the 7th and 8th because he doesn't want to use up too much of his vacation days. I have no cloths not even a nightgown, I have I guess just pretended this wasn't happening. To top it off I can't stop crying. I keep thinking thats ok hunny you'll need me one day and i'll show you all the understanding you have been giving me, and go back to work right after so you don't waste my vaca time too. How bitter is that? I am just a mess. I hope it is my nerves. I need to calm down and just chill. I don't think I will say anything to him till after he gives me my percs !!! (he is picking up my script)

Go get some pretty nightgowns!!! They feel so great as you heal. I bought some lovely ones and wore them daily for weeks!

Hubby needs to stay home and care for you if you get a TAH. Mine stayed home for a bit over a week. Then worked shorter days and called once or twice a day to check on me.

Can your doctor talk to him? Recovery is so very imporatant. My hubby helped me to the bathroom, sat nearby as I took showers to make sure I would be ok, helped me out and into bed at night, cooked each meal, got my drinks etc. I can't take pain meds. so I was in pain. He was my knight in shining armor as usual. Talk calmly to your hubby and tell him how you feel. We should all be the soft place to fall for our spouses.

I'm sorry your hubby is not as understanding as he should be and you have every right to be disappointed and yes, maybe a little angry at him. Perhaps, once he actually sees you "flat on your back" and helpless he will realize how serious this really is......I'm betting he thinks this is "no big deal" because so many women go through this. I have had that reaction from several of my friends---it is such a common surgery that everyone thinks---oh, no big deal my "whoever" had one of those and did just great---you will be fine. I asked my husband to go to all of my doctor's appointments so he would truly understand that this is MAJOR SURGERY. I know I'm very lucky cause he always takes such good care of me. Maybe your husband will be more understanding once he understands the seriousness of this all.

By the by, my surgery is also set for Aug 7th. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers---you hang in there!!

I experienced something very similar after my surgery. I stayed with one of my sisters for a week afterwards and she seemed to really not get that I needed help with some basic things. I was so upset at one point that I thought about taking a taxi home thinking I should go ahead and be by myself since I wasn't getting any help.

I finally decided I wasn't going to ask her for anything. It seemed to click in her head that I really needed help when she saw me crying a couple of times because I was in so much pain. Another sister figured it out when she saw my incision.

I hope your husband comes around before your surgery. You really don't need many clothes and for the first week you probably won't think much about what you're wearing. I've been at home alone after spending a week at my sisters house. It can be done if you take it slow and don't try to do too much.

The hardest part for me is not having physical contact (not sex, just seeing another human) with anyone during that time. At least your husband will be around for that, even if you do want to throw a shoe at him.