my mother in law is really ticking me off!!

Sweetie,
Please just think about your health and how much better you will soon hopefully be feeling. Do make sure the valium is OK with your doctor though... and please dont let your MIL get to you. If I were in your shoes I would let my DH deal with her for a while.

Good luck, and God bless. Please keep us posted, OK?

PS ~ I have three, yes THREE MILS so I REALLY do understand your plight. It WILL be OK!

Thanks to responders re the MIL who wants me to travel < 2 wks postop. My husband is very supportive and tells me to ignore her, and if she presses, he'll stand up and let her have it (verbally, folks . . . he's not violent). But I can't help but feel like it's me who's messing up her Christmas plans. I feel guilty that a lot of people at work are going to have to deal w/o me for so long. I know none of us is indispensible, but these co-workers are dear friends and what I do not only keeps their jobs flowing, but major functions for the organization. I feel guilty that my husband will have to take so much time off from work. I think, since I've known now for nearly two weeks, and I've pretty much done all the research I can do, and I know what questions I'm going to have for me doctor, now it's all sinking it. This is a BIG DEAL!!! I was so casual at first, frightened and worried next as I began gather facts and information, and now. Well, now my emotions are right on the surface of my skin. My son walked into the room this morning, and I said "Hey good lookin'". When he didn't respond (maybe he didn't hear me), I started crying. Later I asked my husband something, and he didn't reply. Again the tears started flowing. Why am I crying so blame much? This is a BIG DEAL and I honestly have the best husband in the world. I know he'll support whatever I want to do. If I elect to take off and be taken care of for the next year and a half, he'll be there for me. So what am I so worked up for??? I've still got more than four weeks to go. I'm not sure I'm going to make it.

Oh Sweetie,
It is normal to have your emotions all over the place right now! You already hit the nail on the head when you said your self that "this is a BIG DEAL!!!". Please dont fight the tears and let your loved ones know that this goes with the territory. It might be helpful to have your husband go with you to your pre-op and have him read some of the MrHysterSister info... I bet there is info there that he would appreciate reading. I am SO GLAD that he is supportive and loving (especially where his mother is concerned). Please dont feel guilty about the time he is taking off to care for you. I am a manager, and when one of my employees has a sick loved one, I want them at home caring for their loved one because we are all a family at work, and therefore the loved one that needs tending to is part of our extended family that we care for too. His coworkers likely fee the same way. It WILL all work out.

Please take a DEEP breath and think calming thoughts.
Love,
Anna

Sometimes its the mother in law, sometimes they're some other relation, but we have to have a busy body, or someone who tries to bring others down.
The one that no one really wants to invite to family get togethers, but we do, because we don't want to hear about it for the next year.
You are SO not alone, and it's best to just let it slide off your shoulders, as hard as it is to do.

Those kinds of people come out of the wordwork at the first opportunity in situations like this, because it's what they thrive on.

They are the least educated, but have the most opinions, and can really get you scared if you let them.

Try to remain positive, and educate yourself as much as you can, with this site, your doctor, and others who've gone through it.

If your doctor had any worries about the valium, he'd let you know, it's not unusual for people to need something to get through the waiting period leading up to such a personal procedure. Your doctor would tell you if he felt the valium would interfere with the anesthesia. Please don't let her scare you, although I know it's hard not to let some of what she says enter the back of your mind, try to remain positive, and realize those kinds of people are just the kinds that thrive on the negative sides of everything.

Thank Goodness that hasn't brought you down, after all, she doesn't have to live with the discomfort.

I will pray for you,her, and your family.