TAH: Hysterectomy in 4 weeks - Scared as ever, too many questions

Hi there! As stated I am new here. My surgery is scheduled for Sept 27th, 2016. I have fibroids...one possibly two. Back in May I was supposed to have a myomectomy but it ended up just being exploratory as once I was open my dr saw how large the fibroid is. My dr even fears there may be a second one in behind this large one. It is growing from what appears to be bottom up (cervix) and pushing everything up and out. Dr explained my ovaries are located above my belly button and my organs are not where they are supposed to be. Due to the size and the vessels feeding this thing while trying to remove it - I will loose my uterus, cervix, and ovaries may be damaged beyond repair. Also the ureters (tubes from liver to bladder) are also at risk. I never received a second opinion from another doctor as this one is apparently very good. I am doubting that decision now as well...

I am so scared...there are so many "What If's". I am a single, healthy and active 36 year old woman. Due to circumstances and an ugly divorce I never had children as yet and now that is also being taken from me.

I worry about my health moving forward, losing my ovaries, remaining in menopause (currently on Lurpron Depo), how my body will recover (will my abdomen be distorted with the two scars - horizontal and now vertical), how will my sex life be effected (yes I love having sex), what man will want me after all this, am I still a woman after losing the parts that essentially make me a woman...

I am so scared and feel so alone...

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Originally Posted by alone&scared Hi there! As stated I am new here. My surgery is scheduled for Sept 27th, 2016. I have fibroids...one possibly two. Back in May I was supposed to have a myomectomy but it ended up just being exploratory as once I was open my dr saw how large the fibroid is. My dr even fears there may be a second one in behind this large one. It is growing from what appears to be bottom up (cervix) and pushing everything up and out. Dr explained my ovaries are located above my belly button and my organs are not where they are supposed to be. Due to the size and the vessels feeding this thing while trying to remove it - I will loose my uterus, cervix, and ovaries may be damaged beyond repair. Also the ureters (tubes from liver to bladder) are also at risk. I never received a second opinion from another doctor as this one is apparently very good. I am doubting that decision now as well... I am so scared...there are so many "What If's". I am a single, healthy and active 36 year old woman. Due to circumstances and an ugly divorce I never had children as yet and now that is also being taken from me. I worry about my health moving forward, losing my ovaries, remaining in menopause (currently on Lurpron Depo), how my body will recover (will my abdomen be distorted with the two scars - horizontal and now vertical), how will my sex life be effected (yes I love having sex), what man will want me after all this, am I still a woman after losing the parts that essentially make me a woman... I am so scared and feel so alone...

I want to say "Welcome" you are never alone here! Those darn fibroids! Why can't they just behave! I am 52, and 20 days post op. My fibroids and enlarged uterus made for some really crummy, bloody days...... I feel so much better since my surgery, I hope you will too.

There are many forums to explore - aching hearts, for those that may have wanted children.... there are forums for sisters with other medical issues/concerns, there are so many. Just look around and ask anything.

When you have time, please do the survey, it will help other sisters with similar situations respond to you.

Take care

I was a fibroid junkie - literally. The main one doubled in size from 5cm to 10cm in 4 months, acquired two mid-sized roommates detected by ultrasound, and my doc admitted that during he lost count at 15. Since Ol' Lumpy is gone, I've noticed a few other issues gone which I thought were due to aging.

It's easier said than done, but please don't dwell on the what ifs. While this is major surgery, 500-600,000 are performed each year in the US alone - there are a LOT of success stories, and there is an entire collection of them here.

There are also a lot of articles that can begin to start addressing your what-ifs. Type the keywords into the Search box in the right hand area near the top, click search and you'll get both previous threads and articles. One thing that I found indispensable was the What 350,000 Women Know... free downloadable guide. I think that's a great place to start.

As Loonwatcher said, you're not alone here.

Hi and welcome A&S,

You are definitely not alone - you received compassionate replies from Loonwatcher and Cussette who care about your well-being.

I hate to throw a monkey wrench into things, but I am concerned that you are now doubting getting a second opinion. It is NOT too late, even if it means postponing your surgery. You need to have confidence in your decision - in my own opinion, you need to see other medical professionals to learn all your options to make the right choice. Your doctor may indeed be the best - but you need to convince yourself of that by "interviewing" others.

Here is a good article: 5 Reasons To Get A Second Opinion
And if you look to the right of the article, you will find a list of related articles as well.

Stress is caused by second-guessing oneself. Believe me, I've learned that the hard way.

As for sex after surgery, here is an article you may find helpful:
How Will Sex Be?

I wish you only the best - take deep breaths and take your time making this important decision.

Hi, I know exactly how you feel, I and so many others are/have gone through the same thing, so you're not alone and you can see from the replies above there's many experienced members to ask advice from. When you're feeling up to it, there's a lot of great information here to help you with your what-ifs, help decide what questions you need to ask to make an informed decision, and if you want a second opinion. I ask a lot of what-ifs too, and this place is good for answering some, and others I'll just have to deal with if they arise in the future. It'll be ok.