Boyfriend bailing out 10 days before hysterectomy (5/26)

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Originally Posted by summers Hugs. I suffer from pmdd since my tubal and it's a nightmare. It's actually why I want the hysterectomy. Is that why you're having yours??

Hi there! I'm having my hysterectomy originally due to the endo and fibroids, but throughout this process I've become very aware of my moods and when I'm pre-menstrual. I've had two nervous break downs and my gynaecologist decided that I should have my ovaries removed as well. I'm only 38 and worrying about going into early menapause, but anything is better then living with pmdd. Have you spoke to your doctor or gynecologist about your options? 😊

There sure are some smart articulate women in this bunch! You gals are terrific.

I just want to add one more little penny into this conversation and it's only half of my 0.02 so just take it for what it's worth. You might want to consider getting yourself into some therapy. Either now or after the surgery has happened. With the recovery and the hormones going on it might be helpful to you to have someone in your corner who can help you through this walk and assist you in regaining your confidence again. Don't get me wrong, these sisters here are terrific but there is something so good about spending an hour face to face with someone who won't judge you and is trained to get you on the right path. Just a thought.

Have you set up all the things you need for recovery yet? Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Carrie

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Originally Posted by Kat213 He's hedging his bets. Maybe he can keep you - but on his terms. You can take control of this situation, and get him out of your way since it doesn't sound like he can be the kind of selfless real support that you are going to need. He may be back or he may not, but right now he just sounds like a detriment to your healing well.

Yes! Well put!

Sweetie, don't settle. As other sisters have stated, you need to focus on recovery. You only get one chance to heal physically.

Regarding your ovaries, I'm totally not a doctor, but just making an observation from others' posts; did your doc give you a reason for taking them?

My doc said he was going to and I asked why. Even though I'm 56, I hadn't gone through menopause and was concerned about hormones and wild emotions if removed. He said I could keep them as long as they weren't abnormally attached. He did warn me I would probably go into menopause sooner than I would have without the hysterectomy. At my age? Hahaha...oh well.

Everyone is different, but for me, I've had zero crying spells and no emotional roller coaster; praise God. However, I've noticed women who have had ovaries removed having more trouble. I totally get that keeping is not a safe option for some. Just thinking it may be worth exploring with your doc; it may save you some potential emotional issues.

Totally showing my age, but when I was dating (as a divorced woman) and I experienced break ups, I would watch the Sex in the City episode, "He's Just Not that Into You." It will make you laugh as you cry.

Hugs, my dear. I eventually kissed enough frogs and found a wonderful man who is patiently waiting for my 3-month release for intimacy. (I had a bunch of extra repairs... so no fun for 3 months.) Plus, from what I've read...things could possibly be even better!
(Sorry for the novel.)

Oh Graceday, I'm sorry to hear about this guy causing you more anxiety right before your surgery! We are all sending you love and hugs right now!

I don't know if you should dump him and run or forgive him for being scared and honest. But you should realize that being yourself only one week out of four isn't really being yourself. You are running on fumes...memories of who you were. Once your surgery is over and your crazy hormones settle down, you will start to see the flowers again. Life will start to feel good again. You will be able to make decisions about what you want to do--not out of desperation based on what you can do because of your weakened body. This guy might be just another toad on the road to your prince, or he might be your prince stuck in a scared man's body. Just hold on to yourself, and get thru this surgery. Once you feel better, you'll know if he's a keeper.

BIG Hugs! Your HysterSisters are praying for you!!!

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Originally Posted by Graceday Thank you everyone for your kind words. I've since spoke to him and he said he just wants to be friends and still be there for the operation. I'm not sure I can deal with this as it will confuse matters and my recovery is the most important thing. I really can't guarantee the op is gonna wave a magic wand and make me better straight away. I think he feels that if he stays friends and I turn Into the normal girlfriend I am on my good week of my cycle, that he will be able to be with me in a proper relationship? Surely he should be able to take the rough with the smooth? I'm so confused? I really don't need this added emotion right now 😞

you r so right.it cant be just roses and no thorns in life.if he's genuinely contrite about his behaviour he deserves a second chance ( u alone can be the judge of that ) but if he's just cruising,Dump him !

I am actually dealing with the same sort of immaturity & I've been married for 17 years, 21 years total together. We have been through a lot my previous marriage trying to blend my son into our marriage, 2 children together, major car accident while carrying triplets, death of eldest son at 18 & so much more. Like I have read some men don't get it & now I'm having issues after the surgery 4/21, put those that love & care about you near, find your faith & come here to know that you are a strong women like the rest of us!

Hi there, Sorry about your boyfriend leaving, but maybe it was for the best. Right now you need to focus on yourself, and your recovery. I'm sorry to say that boyfriends stress will be counterproductive for your healing right now. Try your best to forgive him for his decision so that YOU can move on. Think of this as a time for you to heal physically, emotionally, and mentally so that you can be at your absolute best. You are stronger than you think you are, Graceday so embrace it. Best wishes to you - sent with peace.

Don't be afraid to ask for hugs.

I ended up in a similar situation, Two weeks before surgery, my life partner walked out of my world. Could not deal with my not being well, and going to need him to step up to the plate. In the long run, it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I dont want anyone in my life that does not want to be here. In that moment of darkness, I found the people who are my rocks - the people who will never leave my side. You are going to be fine - and you have a whole sisterhood of people here for you as well. Hang in there. Joanne