Really getting scared

It's about 4 weeks until my TAH and I am really starting to get scared. Well.....more scared than I have been. There are a number of things that I'm afraid of. How I'll feel afterwards, how I'll handle whatever pain etc. I'm afraid of getting constipated and having to deal with that. But I really think the number one thing that really scares the heck out of me is waking up with the tube still down my throat. I guess it's kind of like a claustrophic thing. I have a very bad and sensitive gag reflex and I guess I picture myself choking with that down my throat. I have nightmares about it. I know the waiting is one of the hardest things about going through this and I suppose everything I'm feeling is normal. I just hate feeling this way. Scared, nervous, anxious. Everyone says I will be glad when this is over. I know I will be glad that the procedure is over but I don't think I'll ever be glad that I had to have it done.

Colleen

Hi Colleen,
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so scared, I think it must be normal from what I've been reading on here. I've been having my moments of panick too! I will be so thankful to have it over and to be on the road to recovery... I'm trying to think of it as a new beginning. Best Wishes....Becka

Hi Colleen

just remember that it is normal to be scared, normal to obsess, normal to worry about everything. Have you been with this site long? Read the posts from the past few days- lots of nervous thoughts being shared.

When you come up with a tangible fear then ask. Like the tube thing, ask your .

He will tell you that the anesthesiologist will be monitoring you the whole time, that they adjust the doseages of the drugs they give you based on your "vital signs" and the level of consciousness they perceive that you have. Or don't have. If you are still uncomfortable ask about an epidural and see if your doctor is into this form of anesthesia. It doesn't involve a tube down the throat at all!

As you read you will see any topic can be covered, and we all have pleanty to say, and nothing is too embarassing to mention. Because we are all in the same boat and need the same reassurances.

Hang in there, sweetie, it will get better.

At 4 weeks out, my anxiety was a whole lot worse than it is now that I am only 7 days out from my surg date. I was chatting with one of the RNs where I work who had heart surgery scheduled in her near future. She said 4 weeks out she was a total basket case, but as the date got closer she got a lot more focussed and the anxiety came out in more useful manifestations (like getting totally organized, getting her recovery room at home set up, etc.)

This will be my 5th time under general anesthesia. I have never once woken up while intubated. The last thing I remember is being masked under, and I wake up with an oxygen mask on my face while being closely observed by the post-anesthesia nurse.

Keep asking questions; this website is a great resource and goes a long way towards answering niggling thoughts you might have thought were too (fill in the blank - weird, silly, private) to ask.

Love and Hugs,

Sharon