New and in need of support

My sugery is in October, I am 35yrs old and getting a complete hysterectomy for my birthday. I\'m really emotional and feel really insecure with all my surroundings including my live in boyfriend (Rich). Rich lost his sister to cancer and the Dr. tells me he won\'t be able to answer that question for me > till he does a full biopsy on my tumors and cysts. I have been bleeding since Aug 9 and have not yet stopped I am exhausted and scared. I just need someone to talk to about this and I don\'t want to overwhelm Rich I think I have him stressed out enough. Thank you. update Rich told me today he wants to leave but he still loves me. Not only am I scared but no I am going to be alone too. And I don't want to tell my daughter she simply adores him and wants him to be her dad.. Can things go any worse? I just need someone to talk to and be a friend and help me through all this crap.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I understand how you are felling. I only had 2 weeks to prepare for my surgery. I also have a live in boyfriend. I really think this is a lot for men. I was lucky my was great but at first I was really worried. He would not talk to me about it at all. One night when I had my big break down. He told me that it is hard for him to talk about because his mom too died from cancer. Maybe if you give him some time. He has to work this out. Please at any time write me.

I'm so sorry you having to deal with so much right now.

hang in there sister. when i told my husband what the doctor had said i didn't think about the fact that the only part of the conversation he heard was small possiblity of cancer. so life went on as we were dealing with upcomming surgery for me and i thought he was o.k. until one of his coworkers told me he was stressed out. when i asked him why he hasn't talked to me about it he said "he was scared to because on minute your fine the next minute your yelling at me" i did not realize how crazy things had become..not to mention he had started sleeping on the couch): to make a long story short men get a litle nuts when things are out of their control. after all they are the men they should be able to fix things lol. if he says he still loves you trust that he means it he is just as scared as you are..maybe he needs to hear that you are scared. i know that it helped for my husband to hear it...he thought i didn't love him anymore..it is a long road to recovery...and remember to take care of yourself first.


goodluck sister

*hug hug* luv, sacha


hyster 9/12/06 kept overies and cervix as of today overies have shut down..insomnia and night sweets

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! You have your sisters. I have had more support for this website than any place else. Men just have a hard time dealing sometimes. They want to fix and when they can't they have no clue what to do beyond that. When I have a problem that my husband feels he cant fix he never mentions it again. That is hard cause it makes me feel alone. We have talked about his problem and he says he just does not know what to do or say so he says nothing. I tell him I can fix it I need him to just be there for me while I fix it. They don't know how to do that like women. Give him time this is hard for him too especially because of his sister. Tell him exactly what you need in way he will get it. Maybe my husband is the only block head lol! Good luck!

I am so sorry for you that you have been tossed into this whirlwind with so much information to absorb and then to have Rich leave. Could it be that he is afraid of losing you????? If he lost his sister then he is maybe running from possible more pain that he doesn't want to have. I can only suggest you have a deep hearted conversation with him and then let him come to terms with your upcoming surgery. You will for sure find lots of support on this site, ask away and answers will follow. It is a time like this that you need to muster all your strength for yourself and for your daughter. I wish you all the best and will send a prayer your way.

I am sorry your plate is so full!
When I told my husband that I had scheduled the surgery, all he said was "Oh great, now XXX will get to run my machine while I am off for the day"!
Who cares about me! Good grief!
He is more worried about some other worker ruining the piece of equiptment he runs!
Men stress....big time. Please be easy on yourself.
I have no advice....as I am new to this as well....but I do have big hugs for you and your daughter!
Hugs,
Mary Ann

Thank you all so much for your replies and your prayers. Rich came home last night like nothing was the matter and he never said anything too me. I was crushed til this morning, he brought me breakfast n bed and told me he will not leave but he just don't know how to handle my mood swings and the fact that he wants to be with me and can't because he is afraid of hurting me. I told him everything will be ok and so will we. I'm still really scared of the surgery and am trying to be strong but some days I just want to crawl in a corner and cry I just feel so numb and scared.

I am glad he came home and had a heart to heart with you. It must make you feel a whole lot better and less stressed. Now is the time that you need love and support and no stress. I hope each day gets better for you and also that you take time out to do something special for yourself.

Hi, I'm glad Rich came home and had a heart to heart with you. As we all know men have a hard time telling us exactly how they feel. Now its time for you to take care of you. Even though you may feel like you are alone..your not. There are over 93,000 sisters ready to listen and support you. Take care! Melanie