LAVH: Had to leave work early and won't be back before surgery. GUILT!

I work 3rd shift and had to leave early tonight. The bleeding is overwhelming again, soaking an overnight pad every 30 minutes, tangerine-sized clots. Nothing to do but suck it up and wait it out until surgery on Tuesday, unless, of course, I pass out before then. Oy. I went ahead and took tomorrow off as well (supposed to be my last day) and I feel so guilty. I feel like I'm inconveniencing people who have to shift their schedules to cover me and I feel horribly guilty, even though they've told me not to worry about it.

At the same time, I've not been able to give my work what I should due to my physical problems and the mental energy consumed by the whole mess. So, on that hand, it's better that I can start getting my head where it needs to be for the surgery, I guess.

My anxiety level is pretty high, I had a dream the doctor decided to just remove half of my uterus! It wasn't funny when I woke up in a cold sweat, but in hindsight, it makes me see where my head is. I still have overwhelming thoughts of fear of "what ifs", but am starting to overcome those with lots and lots of prayer.

Graygables ~ I'm so sorry that your having such a terrible time of it. Please don't worry about your co-workers, they sound like they are really supportive and want to help you any way they can. As for your anxiety level, sounds about normal to me. It is very scary and emotionally difficult to be having a hyster and wrapping your head around it is very difficult. Good luck with your surgery on Tuesday.

Graygables~I'm sorry that you are feeling that you are letting down your co-workers but look at it this way..what's a couple more days? when this is all over, you'll be back HEALTHY!!

Really..you need to take a couple days and rest up..good gosh..you're too busy trying not to pass out, never mind work!

They'll understand.

Best wishes..surgery sister..(we're going in on the same day!)

Take care!

The other guys have said everything I'd have done

..but here's an extre *H*U*G* for you

xxxxx

GrayGables,
I had someone say to me recently "you can come back to your job, but you only get one chance at your health"
I am glad that I listened to them and took some time off owrk otherwise I would be a basket case!
I am sure your colleagues will understand completely as mine have done.
Rest up, enjoy your last night at home and remember that you will be free of this pain and bleeding forever soon.
Take care and all the best with your surgery.
xox

You deserve to focus on your own health so that the rest of your life can be happier. Work will survive. And over a lifetime, when you look back at it, this is a relatively short period of time. Give yourself a break. No more guilt. Focus on your healing and let the world take care of itself. Hugs.