Trying to be strong for everyone else

I am trying to be strong especially for my husband and our daughter...but I am starting to have anxiety over my upcoming hysterectomy. It's TWO weeks from now. Here are my worries and I can't get them out of my flippin head:

-What if my insurance gives me h-e-double hockey sticks for a pre-auth?
-What if things go wrong at pre-admission?
-What if my phone interview goes wrong? (I cannot go to the hospital for the pre-op interview due to the fact that it's 2 hours south and both my husband and myself cannot take off anymore time from work)
-What if they can't do a RALH??
-How long am I going to stay in the hospital?? Where is my husband and daughter going to stay overnight??
-What if something drastic happens during my surgery (who doesn't ask that one??)??
-How am I going to deal with my fear of anesthesia?
-my weight. As usual.

Argh I can't stop thinking of all of this. It's driving me nuts. I can't stop it though. Honestly I felt rushed into this because we both had to take a day off to drive down, and it was set up so quickly, heck I don't even know WHEN my surgery is set up for. The nurse for the surgeon told me at my office visit that it would be 5am, but it wasn't even confirmed. It's hard to get in touch with her.

What's worse is I'm having problems my employer's HR dept- they are telling me they cannot fax the FMLA paperwork to my physician because "the fax isn't working" when I have called them and they told me it was working fine. I mean, I want this crap OUT of the way. It's the last thing I need to worry about...but I was told I have 15 days post-op to get the paperwork in. Would you just wait til after your surgery to determine how long your medical leave will be?? Or get it out of the way pre-op?? I don't know what to do.

Any advice? Thanks for listening.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by jc1978 I am trying to be strong especially for my husband and our daughter...but I am starting to have anxiety over my upcoming hysterectomy. It's TWO weeks from now. Here are my worries and I can't get them out of my flippin head: -What if my insurance gives me h-e-double hockey sticks for a pre-auth? -What if things go wrong at pre-admission? -What if my phone interview goes wrong? (I cannot go to the hospital for the pre-op interview due to the fact that it's 2 hours south and both my husband and myself cannot take off anymore time from work) -What if they can't do a RALH?? -How long am I going to stay in the hospital?? Where is my husband and daughter going to stay overnight?? -What if something drastic happens during my surgery (who doesn't ask that one??)?? -How am I going to deal with my fear of anesthesia? -my weight. As usual. Argh I can't stop thinking of all of this. It's driving me nuts. I can't stop it though. Honestly I felt rushed into this because we both had to take a day off to drive down, and it was set up so quickly, heck I don't even know WHEN my surgery is set up for. The nurse for the surgeon told me at my office visit that it would be 5am, but it wasn't even confirmed. It's hard to get in touch with her. What's worse is I'm having problems my employer's HR dept- they are telling me they cannot fax the FMLA paperwork to my physician because "the fax isn't working" when I have called them and they told me it was working fine. I mean, I want this crap OUT of the way. It's the last thing I need to worry about...but I was told I have 15 days post-op to get the paperwork in. Would you just wait til after your surgery to determine how long your medical leave will be?? Or get it out of the way pre-op?? I don't know what to do. Any advice? Thanks for listening.

Sweetie first off you're gonna have to calm down
LOL I know easier said than done. I'm actually having some of the same anxieties myself.
1. I wouldn't worry about the preauth. If your Dr wants to get paid, his billing department will get the auth believe me. I work in a Drs office and if we saw a pt w/out the auth.........ooooohhhiiiiiieeeeeeee someone would be in trouble.
2. I don't believe anything is considered right or wrong for preop/preadmission. They generally get your demographics, insurance, vital signs, get a cbc and you should be able to meet w/ anesthesia too.
3. If they can't do the RALH, then they'll have to have plan B in full effect. Which means they'll have to open you up. But I'm sure they'll cover that with you before surgery.
4. Usually if it's uncomplicated/laprascopic surgery is 24 hours. It will be more if things get complicated or if they have to open you up. I would look into hotels right now so that way they can have a place to sleep not far from the hospital.
5. If something happens during your surgery, what better place to be then in the OR with a bunch of specialists and doctors already in the room with you right???
6. I have a fear of anesthesia too. I get real nervous and before I can let my head get all crazy, I'm already out with the 1st round of sedatives in my IV. I usually wake up crying or mad too. Idk it's weird.



YOU'LL BE FINE, SENDING HUGS YOUR WAY

jc1978 -

First thing is I understand you wanting to care for your husband and daughter but now is the time they need to be caring for you

You need to talk to your husband and doctor about your concerns. Start sending yourself healing thoughts and messages that all will go well.

You may want to join one of the pre-op chats so that you can could possibly get some of these questions answered and make yourself feel a bit better.

Sending you

G.

Thank you both very much. I am having a reminder sent to my email about the da Vinci hysterectomy chat on Wednesday night so I can get some pointers about it. I really hope they are able to perform that type of surgery.

I have a book on healing before and after a surgery from my therapist but I haven't started to read it yet. I really need to.

Thank you both!

I can't really add to what the others have said except about the FMLA. I didn't even get the papers to give to my dr. until I arrived home from the hospital. My time off isn't based on FMLA though. It's based on what the dr. has said I need to be off and that's 8 weeks. My understanding is the FMLA would only be a necessary tool if you didn't have sick or vacation time. In that case, you could always ask your employer to give the paperwork to you and you could fax it to your dr. yourself. I understand all the manic feelings that come up with this, but try to take deep breaths when it gets to be too much and don't feel like you need to tackle every issue all at once or on your own. Maybe your husband can take over the task of finding a place to stay near the hospital.

Cathy, I believe you are right- I got to thinking about this, and it would make more sense to wait until the doctor performs the operation and then see what they say. I don't know if I can have a successful DVH yet or not...so it might be best to wait until after the operation. The way FMLA works for my company is you have to take all of your remaining sick, personal and vacation time and use that first, then you can use short-term disability. I am going to sit with the person at HR this week and make sure I understand everything completely.

I am going to have my husband figure out what he is going to do in terms of a hotel stay as well.

Thank you for your response. It helps to talk it out.

FMLA works the same for me. I think it's a federal program, so it probably protects us all in the same way. I have enough sick leave to cover the 8 weeks (and more) and then a few weeks of vacation, so I won't need the FMLA or short term disability but I have to do the paperwork anyway. My consent forms (sent by the dr's scheduler) say 8 wks off but at one of my appt's, he said "six weeks". I'm taking the paperwork to him tomorrow and hope they put 8 wks on the documents and not 6, but I'm not sure it'd matter anyway. I'll go back when I'm ready