I am so stressed HELP!!!

I only have about 9 days till I take my journey to the castle and the last thing I feel like is a princess. I am so completely stressed out. My house is a mess no matter how many times I clean, it just gets messed up. My mother is coming next week the day before surgery, but is leaving the day after to go to her brothers for the weekend, then back to her home. I have had this date for her for months she only made these plans about a month ago. My friend that I had lined up to help me out is in the hospital, and not sure when she'll be out. She has Cystic Fibrosis and I am very angry with her because she knew 3 weeks ago she was sick and needed to go but put off going to the hospital. She babysits for us every year and knows how much we depend on her. Then my sister calls me tonight and says that she found the tickets for the hot air balloon ride that she bought me last year for my birthday and they expire July 12th. She became very upset whenI said I didn't think it was going to work out because my surgery date is June 8th I really don't think I am going to be able to do the balloon ride a few weeks after I get home. I am sooooo stressed. Nobody to watch my children and help me out, my husband isn't worried but he'll be at work why should he worry. I feel like a burden to my mother and my sister just don't get it. Am I being completely nuts? HELP ME PLEASE!!! I need some suggestions.
Dawn

Dawn hopefully things will get better, If I was in the position to help you I would. Try to keep your chin up. I am being to believe that 1 day left noone truly understands the physically and emotional effects of a hysterectomy.
Remember everyone here is wonderful and sometimes just the hug helps.

(((Dawn)))! I'm so sorry all this is happening to you now! I wish there was something more I could do than just give you online support. See if there are any neighbors that may be able to help out, or if you belong to a church I'll be there's people just waiting for someone that needs a hand! Your husband needs to understand just how little you're going to be able to do afterwards also; you might want to show him the post-op checkpoints here on the site or even some of the 1-week out posts and that may jolt him into reality to get some help for you or take some time off himself. And the last thing you should worry about is your house - if it's dirty, it's dirty; the world won't come to an end. I'll be praying that something or someone comes through to help you out, and in the meantime try not to stress about it, it won't do you any good and it won't change the outcome of things either way. Take care of yourself, and in there. Best of luck to you.

Dawn, I'm so sorry this is all happening now when you should be getting yourself emotionally ready. I don't think people really understand that it's a MAJOR surgery that will take a great deal of time to heal from. Obviously your family doesn't get it quite yet. Could you ask your Mom, sister and husband to checkout this website to get a better idea? I feel your frustration and am angry for you. When I feel overwhelmed besides eating a pint of ben and jerry's ice cream I give myself a time-out and journal. It helps get all the frustrations out and a sense of control out of a powerless situation. And then I problem solve from there. It probably sounds silly but it does help me and I want sooo badly to help you during this time. Please keep us posted on what happens. Be assured all your sisters here love and support you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

can your hubby take some time off? can your kids maybe spend some nights with their freinds/i dont know how old ur kids are. im very sorry for u in ur situation.ok i c u have a 20 year old maybe that one can watch ur kids for awhile or come help you? i have a 18 year old and she was wonderful after my surgey she did all my running for me and helped me with her sister who is 14. i would try to go that route if u could. good luck and best wishes to you!

Dawn, please print out the post op check points as Beanies said - there is even something for hubbies on this site which would be helpful. I didn't find this site until about 8 weeks after my surgery but I really wish I had those before. Your husband needs to understand that this is MAJOR surgery, and you are NOT going to up to doing everything you usually do for AT LEAST a few weeks after, probably longer. And the house is messy - so what. It just gets messy again after it is perfectly cleaned, so let it be. Try not to stress about that right now. I think the journaling suggestion is good too. Call in reinforcements - daughter, mother, sister and hubby, and let them know you are going to need their help. Hang in there sweetie. Once they realize how much you will need them, I'm sure they will be there for you.

Hi Dawn! You are not nuts. Its very frustrating when the people you were counting on bail. You have to re-think everything. Your children are old enough that they can be of help. Look at it as an opportunity for you to teach your children to care for others, and to learn some housework basics. The house won't be perfect, but it will be reasonable and your kids will have a sense of accomplishment. You have a week to teach them some basics ie dishes, vacuuming/sweeping, tidying. As for laundry, well, I loaded the washer-one piece at a time. DH can move the washed clothes to dryer for you. Kids can empty the dryer and bring the basket out for you to fold. They can put it away. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. I have teenage boys and they amazed me with how they were mother hens.

Maybe I am just really crabby today....yes, i believe I am...but Id tell mom to not bother...her showing up and leaving at those times will be more of a hassle than its worth. sorry, I tend to turn into a martyr when Im crabby.

Okay, on a serious note. About the clean house, I totally understand. I actually decided the other day that I will not clean my house(you know, the REALLY CLEAN) until, like the day before the surgery. Then, you don't fall into the mommy trap of cleaning up the same mess 20 times in one week and just frustrating yourself over and over again.
i also think that I have a tendency, while I am waiting for the day, to stress out over the smaller things (like cleaning) when I feel I am not getting enough support for the big things (the surgery).
I agree with the others about getting the older kids to help out if you can. I also think you may want to have a sit down with hubby and explain your fears and concerns to him. Let him know that You NEED him and then tell him exactly how you will need him. They love to feel needed, and if you tell them how to help, they will usually surprise you. My DH actually said, "Yah, I know you need help. But I don't do that everyday, so can i get the Helpmeout 101 refresher course please?"

If I lived in iowa (which Dh just mentioned might be an option the other day), I would watch your kids for you!
You could fly em out to Vegas for the week!

Take care sweetie and let us know how it goes. don't worry, you are a strong woman and you will come out of this even stronger.

Just a small note about the balloon ride -- can your sister call the company and explain the circumstances (or, better yet, you call). If you've been anemic, you can explain that your doctor felt that it wasn't a good idea to take a balloon ride until you recover, and ask them to extend it until August. Or, if there are weather issues (as there is a ballooning season in many areas) perhaps they could give you a several-month extension. It costs nothing but a phone call, and often small companies will be sympathetic. You've paid for a ride -- there should be no limit, within reason, about when you take that ride, particularly if health issues have prevented your taking advantage of the coupon.

The "Mister Hyster" site (sorry, I'm off to bed and too lazy to look it up for the link ) is really mandatory reading for your DH. They need the details; it didn't occur to mine ( healthcare professional even!) that I wouldn't be able to get my own lunch the second day home from the hospital. My six year old was more helpful in some ways than he was, particularly with picking items up off the floor! (Of course, most of them were hers anyway )

Hope you get the help that you need. I found my DD's school friends' parents to be the community I needed, in terms of sleepovers, meals, and the like.

. Good luck with your date!

Audrey

Dawn - I am so sorry you are going through this. I would tell your mom that you really feel like you are going to need her longer than a couple days.

On the hot air balloon ride...If your sister paid for it, then legally, it can't expire. Gift certificates (that are purchased) can't expire either even though most have an expiration date. I work for a catalog company that is nation wide & we weren't aware of this law until we got hit w/a lawsuit. Coupons expire, GC's can't...so I would remind the hot air balloon company of that fact & ask them to extend the date. Good luck!