Scared to tears (literally)-please help!

I am tentatively scheduled for a TAH on March 11. The doctor is waiting on pre-approval from my insurance company. I am sitting here in tears. I am 37. I am so scared that I am thinking about forgetting the whole thing. I have endometriosis and adenomyosis. I have tried all of the treatments for endometriosis. My doctor tells me that hysterectomy is the best decision for me. But I am so frightened that something awful will happen. What if the sugery goes wrong and I die ? I don't want to leave behind my family and I am not ready to die. I am scared. I want to know if anyone else has been this scared before the surgery. How did you cope ?

i am coping by re-reading my favorite book... "No Death, No Fear"

it helped me through bladder surgery and it will help me through this too.....

but everybody finds different ways to cope

also i have upped my housecleaning ...one to prepare my home for after surgery and two it keeps my mind off of things.....

hugs,
jamesgirl

Hello Whiteroses,
What you are feeling is totally normal. I have had several surgeries and I felt the same way every time. You will be fine. Trust your doctor and talk to him or her about your fears. I dont know if I am helping you any but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. And you are so lucky you have this website. I am pretty new here myself and I am so grateful to the site and the wonderful people here.. You will find it very helpful. Relax and dont stress about it. I will be thinking of you. Let us know how it goes..

Hi, whiteroses, and

Your fears are perfectly normal. This is a scary surgery--not because it's dangerous but because it hits us in the center of who we are as women and because it's a once-in-a-lifetime procedure. I was comforted by the fact that it is one of the most common major surgeries women have and that even though I had never experienced it, the doctors and other medical folks performed the surgery routinely. They knew what they were doing, and they would take care of me.

I spent a lot of time on the pre-op board here. Seeing that so many other women had the same questions and concerns and fears as I did was very reassuring to me, and that helped me cope.

I also made a point of spending 5 minutes every day nurturing myself. I would write in my journal, close my eyes, savor a cup of tea, indulge in chocolate, etc. It helped me stay focused on myself and how much I needed this surgery to improve my quality of life.

Meanwhile, we're all here with you, and we'll do what we can to support you through this.

I'm glad you found us.

Hi Whiteroses
It is totally understandable how you are feeling. I too was frightened about not waking etc...I spent allot of time on this web site reading and doing just what you are doing. I found allowing myself to cry and journalling through my fears really helped. Also I personally sought out women that had gone through the process. Every one of the ladies said it was the best thing they had ever done! That was all 6 women I know well! So find some friends, I know you are very young but perhaps you have older friends/family members you can talk too.

I was also comforted by the fact that the medical field is so far advanced that really for the experienced surgeon, a hysterectomy is a walk in the park.

I found that my release of fear came after the surgery on day three. It all came rushing out in the form of many tears. I again, listened to some of my favorite music, cried and journalled. It really helped.

I wish you all the best. At 4 1/2 weeks I am rejoicing in the fact that I have no more periods, I can go hours without leaking urine and not have to wear a pad to line my knickers and that I will never have to plan another thing around the monthly dread! Hurray!

Xanax...

or Klonopin......

Xanax is a great idea. What you are feeling is exactly how I was feeling. I was terrified. Most of us were. But as you can see from the post op we made it through & most of us are doing well. I didn't think I would ever live through it but I am doing good now.

Here is my list of things to get you prepared:

Before surgery I would get your house set up as well as you can. Make sure you are stocked up on simple things like toilet paper. I stocked up on things like tuna fish & soups so you don’t have to cook anything. Lunchables are a good idea too. I would clean everything as well as you can like bed sheets, laundry & floors/carpets because it will be a little while until you can do those things alone. I suggest setting up a station for yourself for when you get home. You will want everything in reach like the remote control, drinks, snacks, hand cream & your medications.

Medications: I made sure I had lots of Gas-X (my biggest pain from the surgery was from gas & bowels getting moving again). Prunes can really be good here or applesauce. I needed Anti-diarrhea pills (I don’t get constipated) & Preparation-H (I get diarrhea easy). I got some pedia-Lax (baby colace) because the adult colace is too strong for me. I had some Urinary Tract pain relief (over the counter) on hand because it takes a while for your bladder to go back to normal. I never did have a UTI but sure felt like I did & the Urinary medication helped a little (it will turn your pee very orange). I used Vagisil to help with the little bit of irritation & dryness. You can also just use KY jelly for dryness.

Items: You will want a pick up tool. No matter what you do you will drop something & bending over is not an option. I needed a shower bench for the first week on & off. I am over weight & that made everything a bit more difficult. It is great just to let the warm water run over your body but if you are not steady & are still weak the shower bench is a huge help. Try to take even a small shower even if you feel you can’t because it will help a little with the soreness. I used a walker for a few days on & off because you may have you back hurt because you carry yourself a bit different because of the swell belly. One great thing I did was hooked a basket to the walker & found it very helpful to keep little bags of snacks (pretzels/crackers) & your medications & your journal (to write down when you take meds) in the basket. That way it is always with you & in your reach. The first week (if you have no appetite) just eat what you can & worry about nutrition next week. I made sure I had an electric blanket (I could not get warm for the first 2 weeks) & leg warmers. I stayed in my nightgown & found those really helped me stay warm. I had a lot of Cranberry juice on hand to help my bladder feel better & get fluids in me. You need lots of fluids.

The more you walk, the faster things will get moving, even though you wont feel like walking much. I wish they would have gotten me up in the hospital.

The faster you can get off the narcotic pain meds the better. They can make your stomach very upset & constipate most people. After day 3 I found I didn’t really need them anyway because when they wore off I felt worse than if I would not have taken them. If you can take Motrin that should help with the inflammation.

Things not to do: Do not eat anything red. Do not wash your hair with antibacterial soap or it will really itch.

Dear Whiteroses,
I know that the anticipation of the surgery is the worst part. I got all of my papers in order, cleaned the house, organized for my recovery and talked to good friends about my wishes. I wanted to be prepared for the worst. I cried as they brought me into the OR and I woke up the happiest girl in the world - you will too!!

I had my LAVH June 30, 2008. Ovaries and cervix removed. I was also anxious about it but its the best thing I ever did. I did wonderful with it and was home the day after surgery by 2:00 in the afternoon. I didn't have to take any Narcotics when I got home. I relieved my pain with Avil. I didn't have a lot of pain. I did a lot of resting. Take advantage of not having to do anything and obey your doctor and don't lift more than he tells you to. I was ready to go back to work after 4 weeks but the doctor made me stay out for six weeks. You will do fine... Good Luck and Best wishes.