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Anyone scared to death they'll die?  Surgery in August... Anyone scared to death they'll die? Surgery in August...

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  #1  
Unread 05-28-2002, 12:35 AM
Anyone scared to death they'll die? Surgery in August...

Hi there:

I'm new to this board and understand if you think I'm crazy, but I'm scared to death that I will die under anesthesia
or get blood clots, an infection, etc... No, I'm not a hypochondriac and infact, other than surgery, I avoid going to the doctor. It took me several years of everyone trying to convince me that I'd feel so much better if I just submitted to this surgery. I have a huge fibroid mass that makes it difficult to breathe and on top of that, my thyroid is low and I cannot exercise without great pain, due to the fibroids, so consequently, I am heavier than I've ever been. I hate being heavy
like this, so I decided that something has to change here. Besides, I started bleeding badly for awhile and have also
developed asthma. So, I definately need a change. The problem is I've got myself convinced that I need to have my
affairs in order *just in case.* Jeez, I sound so paranoid! So, I've been writing things like how I handle the budget
and when I pay the bills, who I want to finish raising my youngest (the others are 18 and above), how to do this and that...last minute instructions. I'm even finally prompted to file my back taxes and get payments arranged, so that no one is *left with anything to deal with. I realize this sounds utterly morbid, but I've never had a surgery of this proportion before, although I have had surgeries (tonsillectomy, transverse urgent delivery, marsupialization of the
barthlin's gland). Then, on the other hand, I tell myself, that if I'm going to get surgery anyway, I may as well
co-schedule that tummy tuck (if I can get up the extra $). Meanwhile, I'm freaking, thinking of being cut open and
the possibility that I might not make it. Please, somebody stop me here! Your support is sure appreciated to help me
get through this *if I get through it. LOL
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  #2  
Unread 05-28-2002, 01:22 AM
frightened of dying

Hello Dezra, I too was very scared as someone told me a horrid storey a few weeks before i had my opp on 22-4-02. I went for a second opinion to try to get out of having a hysterectomy i was booked to go in on march 4th. If you talk to the hospitol about your fears when you go for your pre opp assesment they will put your mind at rest, you will also have the chance to tell the anetheatist, cant spell that! how you feel, you must tell him or her you are frightened, I have had a tah and lazer treatment on my bowel for endemetriosous cant spell that either! everything went fine, i have had no problems recovering, i am 5 weks post opp today, started too drive this weekend gone my tummy do not like the seat-belt, it swelled up, i have not got an automatic car though, here in england we all do not drive automatic geared cars unfortunately, i am very bored this is why i have joined this web site, it is great, even though i dont know what im doing half the time, iv,e had my pc a year but have only now started to use it since i have been off work, I teach children gymnastics so i have got to have at least 3 months off work and will not beable to support fully for about 4 months, I too only get goverment sick pay and thats not much too live on, who cares im out of pain now, just need some good weather now its cold here only 66degrees with loads of rain!dont worry about your opp its nothing compared to having a baby lol. good luck, Jumbotwiggybush.
  #3  
Unread 05-28-2002, 02:18 AM
its normal to be scared

Hi, Dez,

I think many of your fears are normal. Discovering you have to have surgery is a very big deal! A hysterectomy is considered major surgery, but the statistics and odds of survival are strongly in your favor! I have seen various reports and all of them show a very small % have complications as serious as death.
I just had a hysterectomy last week and I also entertained some of the thoughts you spoke of, but my old doc said something to me at pre-op that set my mind at ease. He said, "Lynn, you do realize during the surgery you are being monitored more closely than you ever are in your life?" I thought....hmmmmmm...he is right! No one is standing by me any other time watching so closely and protecting me!
They have been doing hysters for many years now and if you have a Dr. that you have faith in then you will be fine!!!!!!!!
Our imaginations can go many crazy places. It is the waiting that gives us the time to make this bigger than it actually is. I now know that it isn't so awful and actually much easier than I had imagined. In retrospect, I'm laughing at myself for blowing this up so big in my head and allowing it to control me for sooo many months!!!!! It is natural to get a little crazy, but try to relax and know that this such a do-able surgery and have faith that you will be protected.
The ladies here will help you!
Lynn
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  #4  
Unread 05-28-2002, 04:22 AM
Anyone scared to death they'll die? Surgery in August...

Hi Dezra!

You have no idea how normal that is! I also made lists of how I pay bills, where to find things like life insurance policies, bank account numbers, etc, and put it where someone could easily find it "just in case". I didn't tell anyone it was there and after I got home I put it away because obviously it wasn't needed now! But I also do the same thing whenever I have to fly.

Some ladies have written "just in case" letters to loved ones, and a few months ago someone said she put letters, etc, that she wouldn't want anyone to see if they had to go through her belongings, in a trash bag in the garage until after her surgery so that they would be tossed without being read should something happen.
  #5  
Unread 05-28-2002, 04:42 AM
Dezra

Oh mate I sure know where your head is at now, I truely do!! I had my Hyst in September of last year and from the time i knew my date, it was on with the convinceing myself that I would die and all the other crazy thoughts but normal thoughts that went through my head. The what ifs!!!! but maybes!!!! etc.
Hun you are perfectly normal to have the thoughts that you have. I had sooooo much loving support from this site from so many wonderful woman that it did make it so much easier. i did go to a physcothearpist, and he was brilliant. he told me that the fear of dying and all the other things that i was thinking and feeling were because i had a control issue. He was so right, he had a very long talk to me and also gave me a relaxation tape which I played during the day and went to sleep with at night.
Hun thinking positive is so the best thing to TRY to do, focus on the positives like how much better your health and well being will be after the Hyst and recovery. How great it is not to ever have another period again in your whole life.
I am now 8 months post and am feeling wonderful, life is so much better without all the pain and soreness. Please try to concentrate on how wonderful it will be, how it will benefit your health so much to have this done, quality of life is enhanced etc. i wish you luck and if you need any more support, then be sure to post again we will all be here for you. Pop into chat and grab a brownie and a hug. The very best of luck mate. Hugs Vicki
  #6  
Unread 05-28-2002, 04:52 AM
I hear you

I too had questions about death. After researching hysterectomies I found I had a better chance of dying in a car wreck than while in surgery. But I too was there so I can relate to your fears. I have a good support system and the sisters here have helped join us in the chat room and you will feel better about what is going on. I know that I do!!
  #7  
Unread 05-28-2002, 05:27 AM
Anyone scared to death they'll die? Surgery in August...

Yes, Yes. I am scheduled for surgery on June 17th. I had two c-sections in 14 months, my last one was August 28, 2001. I am just so scared that this third surgery will be the one to take me out!!! I thought I was going crazy. I would like to ask for an epidural so that I won't be completely knocked out, but hopefully, all will go well. I'll keep you in my prayers in August and let's just try to think positive!
  #8  
Unread 05-28-2002, 07:52 AM
Anyone scared to death they'll die? Surgery in August...

It's normal to be scared. Any time you go under anesthesia there is a risk of death ... but an extremely low one. As someone said in a previous post, much less than dying in a car wreck and we all drive every day.

Preparing for problems is an excellent idea for two reasons. First of all, making lists, giving instructions, etc., help you to deal with your fears by addressing them and controlling them to the best of your ability. Secondly, JUST IN CASE, God forbid, anything does go wrong, your family will be prepared. And by go wrong, I don't mean necessarily death. It could just be extra days in the hospital or some such.

One suggestion I would like to make to ALL the hystersisters is to fill out a "living will". In my state, the state bar association distributes a free form for "Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care and Health Care Directive." I assume most other state bar associations do the same and I know you can purchase Living Will forms on line for a small cost. Once completed, signed and (usually) notarized, these are legally binding documents that can express your desires about health care choices. (Check the laws in your state to assure that you don't have to have one prepared by a lawyer.) As a law student, I strongly suggest that everyone fill out one of these documents, especially if you're planning to undergo surgery.

It's going to be fine!
  #9  
Unread 05-28-2002, 09:41 AM
Anyone scared to death they'll die? Surgery in August...

Dezra,

Well, my 2 cents is that if I die...I won't know it and don't have to deal with it. My fear is a stroke. If you are paranoid then we are all paranoid...I'd rather believe we are all normal.

Everyone needs to have their house in order from a will to guardianship of their children and pets. (No matter their age) Doing a personal inventory is a good thing. It can also be a comfort knowing that things are in order.

After reading your posts I think that this surgery will most likely do the opposite for you, it will probably save your life. Go ahead and get that tuck...grab this second chance.

Maralyn
  #10  
Unread 05-28-2002, 03:51 PM
Thank you for your support, sisters!

Hey Sisters:

I'm so touched by your support...it blows me away, really. Wow, I feel a real sisterhood here!

Dezra
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