my sex life VERY important to me - help!

Hi,
After giving it much thought and doing a lot of reading, I have decided to take my doctor's advice and schedule a hysterectomy. I have an appt. with him in 4 days to discuss and settle on options.

My main concern is my sex life. I am 38 and my husband of 13 years & I had some problems in our marriage for several years. We have recently (within the last 8 - 9 months or so) gotten really close again, are enjoying one another again, and just generally have a 'renewed' relationship. It's been wonderful - and our newfound playful sex life has played a huge part in our renewal. I have more sexual desire than I ever have, so he is getting so much sex that sometimes he actually has to beg off so he can "rest". LOL!

Anyway, we are really enjoying this new phase of our relationship - and I am scared to death of losing it. I have endometriosis and am wrestling with the "leave ovaries? leave cervix?" questions and know there are pros and cons to each. I have never had an abnormal pap, so I'm thinking I should have him leave the cervix.

It's the ovaries that worry me most though. What about an elevated risk of ovarian cancer? What if they don't work normally after surgery? Will I still have pain from endometriosis if the ovaries are left? If they are removed, how would synthetic hormones work out for me? Do synthetic hormones elevate cancer risks?

I am going to ask him all of these questions, but he can't give me a women's perspective on the sex stuff. If he leaves my cervix, are my chances for being able to orgasm normally greatly improved? *sigh*

Any wisdom you can share from the wealth of your experiences would be very much appreciated. Thank you!!!

--Lauren

I had a tvh 9 weeks ago and left my ovaries but no cervix and my sex life is better than ever. I guess due to the no pain that I have while doing that. My doc said my ovaries will still work for at least the next ten years so no hrt's are needed, I'm glad cuz I really didn't want to take any meds. I am 40 and don't take any kinds of meds so that was a relief. Every body is different and you should talk to your doc about your concerns but I can say mine got alot better!!!! Good luck in your choices and your up coming surgery.

Hi Lauren and

Your concerns about your sex life post-hysterectomy are common ones. The following article from the Pre-Op Articles archive was written based on comments shared through the years by members of Hystersisters.com. I hope it might be helpful to you:

Is Sex Really The Same?

Best wishes and good luck on your upcoming journey to good health!

s to you,

Hi BoHoWoman!

I had my LAVH for endo almost 6 years ago. With this hyst type the cervix is removed. I kept my ovaries as I was barely 25 yrs old and we felt for my overall health, I needed them. My sex life has not been affected by not having a cervix. The only time it is affected is when I am having endo pain during certain parts of my cycle.

My cervix was removed for a few reasons. One, endo can grow there. Two, I had had abnormal paps, which we later found out were from the endo. Three, the LAVH was least invasive hyst type for my situation.

We have some short articles that discuss keeping or remvoing your ovaries and/or cervix I would suggest you read.
Keep Cervix?
Keep Ovaries?
Keep Ovaries? Keep one or both?
Total vs. subtotal hysterectomy

Additionally, since you have endo, I would highly recommend reading through as many Endometriosis Resources as you can, so you will have a good idea of how endo can affect your life, even after a hyst. You need to be aware that a hyst can be beneficial in some ways for those of us with endo, however it is not a cure.

How you will feel after your hyst, and how your endo will affect you, will depend a lot on the location of your endo and how much can be removed during your surgery. Most of mine was cleaned up, but some had to be left on my bowel walls as it was too risky to remove. Therefore, yes, I have endo pain. I was pretty much okay for the first few years, but the pain is gradually increasing. Having my ovaries does mean I am providing estrogen for the endo to grow.

But if you have your ovaries removed, your HRT choices can be very limited because of endo. Definitely disscuss this with your dr. And have you gotten a second opinion? Can you see an endometriosis specialist?

Do take a list of all of your questions to your dr. I have even printed a copy of my questions to give to my dr and this has helped both of us. I hope you and your medical professionals are able to find the best choices for your medical care.

Neither my libido nor my ability to reach orgasm on my own have been diminished by my loss of my cervix. I haven't been cleared for sex yet, but when I am I'll happily report back