distance from DH....

My surgery is still about 3 weeks away, but I have run into a little problem. My DH seems to think that since I will be out of "commission" for so long after, we should "get what we can, while we can". I have absolutely no desire. We hav always had a pretty healthy sex life and I do enjoy the bond that comes from intimacy, however...like i told him, all of my problems these days are centered "around that area" and all he wants to do involves "around that area". I am not so much in pain form intercourse (we have worked around it for so long it is second nature now), but I just don't have any interest. Why don't men just want to cuddle and fall asleep like I do? I love to kiss him and hold him, but whenever you do that, he takes it as an invitation. So, if I don't want to "do the deed", I refrain from alot of cntact at all...and I am sure you know that this just does wonders for our relationship outside of the bedroom. He is not mean, or pouty, just distant. I don't like this wedge between us..I try to talk to him about it, but I understand that he sees it as a rejection of him. not a rejection of just the act itself. Any comforting words would be appreciated. Thanks.

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Originally Posted by emichal Why don't men just want to cuddle and fall asleep like I do? I love to kiss him and hold him, but whenever you do that, he takes it as an invitation.

In my opinion, that's just the way men are hard-wired...at least in my experience.

These weeks just prior to surgery are stressful for many in so many different ways. I guess my only words of comfort are: In a few weeks you will be recovering from your surgery, and after all the healing has taken place, I would wager that your relationship with your spouse will return to the way it was before all of your trouble began.

Many s and Best Wishes,

My only advice is to just keep trying to reassure him that you're not rejecting him but you're worried and hugs would help immensely. Not all men are wired that way, but many, many are unfortunately. I hope he comes around. Could his distance be due to fear for you?

Good luck with him and your surgery.