so many thoughts running through my head!

Dh has only expressed that he wanted sex last night while he knew I was 30 miles away trying to finish up christmas shopping. He's not commented when I told him surgery will take 2-4 hours or more, just that he was glad I am getting some <oops! insurance company name removed per TOS> money for it. I have zero support as you can see. I really dont' even want him there to be honest, but he is my ride.
My oldest son has a graduation on Monday-my surgery is Friday-will I be able to attend it I keep wondering? I promised him I would no matter what.
I'll try to spend at least two nights in so I can not be bother here and get some care there. THen when I come home kids will all be in school or oldest at work and husband travels, I thought I'd be ok, and not need anything, but I imagine I'll eventually need something and what if I can't get it myself?
I want to cry at random times, I hate that. Tomorrow I have a few errands, a haircut, and I'm sure I wont sleep.

Should I take a sleeping pill prescribed tomorrow night or no? I am glad I read on here not to shave, but I already did a few days ago-I always do.

Has anyone else had to go this mostly alone with no love or support from their spouse? How did you deal with that?

has anyone had to go home with no help either? Any suggestions?

Thanks so much-super nervous and wish Friday was overwith already. I'm so thankful for you all and this website!

I'm so sorry to hear that you don't have a good support system at home right now. I don't know if you attend a local congregation, but what about a church member, or a willing neighbor that could come sit with you for a few hours until children get home? If not, I would suggest to have a basket or box near you with items you may readily need (bottled water, snacks, pain meds... etc). And of course the phone! Maybe have the kids prepare some sandwiches the night before to put in the fidge so that you can grab a lunch. Hopefully you don't have stairs, and the bathroom is on the main level.

Talk to your Doctor about the graduation. I know I was instructed not to drive for two weeks.

Good luck Friday. Praying that all goes well, and your recovery will be quick!

My heart goes out to you - I wish that I could offer more than my good healing thoughts to you. Have you any nearby friends or neighbors that might be able to check in on you while you are home alone? I will be setting something like that up for myself, since I have no DH... but I do have local pals, and even a few of my neighbors offered to check in on me too. I even looked into if there were any kind of "visiting medical assistance/home care" programs, but with the insurance I have that is not covered. I wish you a smooth and speedy recovery

Thanks. I already have my church bringing us dinners 3 nights a week. I already feel like a burden to everyone here and it's not until tomorrow. I just also dont' even want husband there as he is non supportive, will fall asleep or want to get himself food, which is completely understandable, but I get no loving words or concern from him-not even up till now-and that hurts, but then again is typical for him.
My best friends works for an airline so she can't. My other friend is 8 months pregnant with complications and my other friend lives very far away.

I just had a dream I was able to walk and everything for myself, but then it hit me midway.

I'm going to get through it with the grace of God, so I have to find a way to be good with that and not worry I guess.