I changed my mind (a long story)

I was diagnosed with fibroids and enlarged uterus about 5 years ago. My mother died from cancer 4 years ago, which was treated as ovarian cancer but it did not originate on her ovaries, or so they believe based on the tests they did. So for the past 5 years I have been dealing with the fear that I might be at risk, which is what prompted me to visit a gynecological oncologist after my regular GYN told me my CA125 count was elevated. My fibroid is now about the size of a golf ball, according to the ultrasound. My CA125 count is 35, borderline. At my last visit I decided to proceed with the hysterectomy.

Yesterday I got a second opinion. I drove 70 miles to another gynecological oncologist in a bigger city. He is located in a large cancer care center, which is also a teaching hospital. Although I got basically the same diagnosis, he did tell me he feels there is no cancer present at this time. Of course, they cannot be sure without removing everything and examining it. And of course, he said my decision is up to me.

So I’m right back where I started. Is a hysterectomy really necessary in my case? I have no bleeding, no bloating, and minimal pain that does not interfere with my quality of life. All I have are these borderline symptoms.

So after much thinking, praying, and research, I decided to cancel the surgery that was scheduled for the end of this month, and keep playing the “watchful waiting game” for a little while longer. The doctor yesterday said to keep doing the ultrasounds and CA125 counts, watching to see if things change. The doctors are very careful to not tell you exactly what to do. But I made this decision to reconsider it in 6 months, then 6 months again, and again, and maybe I’ll keep doing that the rest of my life and keep those vital organs, even though at age 58, post-menopause, I don’t need them anymore. What I do need is to be healthy and happy for my family, and now that I have made a decision, I’m back to feeling like myself again.

An immediate flaw in the plan: my first doctor doesn’t know that I’m cancelling yet. I left a message with the surgical nurse today, and she said he would call me tomorrow.

Making the decisions is the hardest part of all this, at least in my case. The surgery itself is scary, but with the technology they have today, I think there is very little that can go wrong in most cases. Of course there is always a little shadow of doubt that I am doing the right thing by waiting, ovarian cancer being a silent killer as it was with my mom, and with the recent news of Dixie Carter, but breaking this large issues down into 6-month chunks makes it easier to deal with. I can live at peace this way, 6 months at a time.

Thank you to every one of my Hyster Sisters who have been helping me though this. I will continue to read the forums and contribute what I can. I hope I never have to post a hysterectomy date again, but if I do, I’ll know it’s because I have the education and support to make the right decision. Thank you, all, for listening and being so supportive. I love you.

Do what you think is best for you. Sounds like a very reasonable plan right now. Good luck to you. You know where to find us!