Children don't understand...

My mom lives 4 hours away and only makes it to "the City" (the large metropolitan area where I live) about twice a year. I hesitated asking her to come take care of me my first week out of the Castle, but my kids will be in school all day and my husband works 60 hours a week. Plus he works nights and sleeps days, so I would be basically on my own during the day.

So I called.

Bless that woman. All she said was, "Of course I'll come. You came and took care of me when I had my hysterectomy, and I'll do the same for you."

Then I remembered - oh yeah, that's right! - it's been like 15 years ago, but I did take off work and spend a few days with her. I'd completely forgotten. I'm touched that it meant so much to her. Now that it's happening to me, I see why.

I hope my girls won't ever have to go through this (they're 11 and 15), but if they do, I hope I'll be as good a mom to them as mine is being to me.

PS. My dad is a classic Archie Bunker who hates to let his Edith do anything away from him. I noticed his side of the phone was dead silent as I made arrangements with Mom, so I finally said, "Dad, thanks for giving up Mom for a few days. I really need her." He just grumped, then said, "Hey, I've got back-up." Which made us all burst out laughing. He'll be fine.

I've got to admit, my five year old (only child) is more supportive and understanding than my one brother and his wife. My brother (40) can't understand what the big deal is and why I "manipulated" my Mother into coming to help take care of me. I'm having abdominal surgery - uterus and cervix going, possibly one ovary. My sister in law asked if they'd be taking my bladder out too!!! They also don't understand why I'm planning so for in advance...surgery date March 25. Aside from the fact that I'm a single Mom and need to plan for my son and his care, (my priority), I also have to prepare for Mom coming. I have a small one bedroom so there'll be some rearranging to do and all.
Thank God for my friends. I've had offers to help out with my son, meals, you name it. I feel so blessed. Why family members are so clueless I'll never know.
My son told his pre-k teacher that the doctor is going to take the bad things out of Mommy's tummy that make her grouchy and cry.
I've become quite anxious lately, trying to get things cleaned up at work so I don't come back overwhelmed entirely. My budget makes long term planning impossible, so I'll be running around at the last minute stocking the fridge and all. Thankfully my general MD prescribed clonazepam for the anxiety and upped my paxil from 20 to 30 mg's. It has been a tremendous help, and I'm finally sleeping through the night again.
Anyway, I'm grateful to all you ladies, and pray all goes well for us all.
Cathy

Since this is my last weekend,really my last day due to the BP tomorrow, my plan is to call all my kids tonight to say "see you later" , and to let my granddaugter listen to my voice.
I am grateful that I basically only have myself to worry about right now. I told my husband if he starts growling about things when I come home,I'm calling "Adult Protective." I almost wish he wasn't taking a week off. Surely there are some ladies out there who had to "go it " on their. When I'm on the other side of this perhaps I'll feel differently and he will also. I think he's just starting to worry about it and he can't talk to me. I'll probably be online off and on but if I don't, See you guys in another week or so. Take Care. You're the best!

My surgery is scheduled for 3-23-04. (LAVH leaving ovaries) My children who are only one and three seem to understand much more than I thought they would. My son (1) who is not a loving child, all of a sudden has become a love bug and wants to just lay his head on my shoulder. My daughter (3) comes up to me out of the blue and says " I love you mom". I feel very blessed that my little ones know that mommy is not feeling well and that I have a great husband who understands.
I am 26 and I helped my mother when she had hers three years ago and she is so happy to come and help me. I'm sorry to hear about older children who don't "get it" . At 23 I allready knew what pain was like, hopefully none of yours are cursed with the same thing. Good luck with yours. Sometimes it's easier to do alone because you don't get your expectations up.