I'm so angry I'm seeing red

I've been so angry with my doctors because I didn't know why they had to remove my uterus and both my overies (I originally went in to have only one ovarie removed). They said that one was too large and the other was attached to my kidney. I didn't know what that ment and I didn't know what would have happened if they had left it in. It turns out that my doctor told my mother what happened and not me or my husband. I'm the patient not my mother! You would think if they told anyone they would tell me or my husband. Instend four weeks post-op after looking it up on the internet I learn that the condition is called endrometriosis. I understand why its that sometime growing on your ovarie is bad but would it have hurt them to go into more detail. Your ovarie was attaching itself to your kidney because...if we had left it in this is what would have happened. We removed your uterus because. Last night after talking with my mother she tells me that the reason the uterus was removed with the ovaries is because if they had left it in I could have developed some kind of cancer. Why leave it in if the ovaries have to be removed. All this time I've been feeling sorry for myself. I didn't understand why they couldn't have given me meds to take care of the kidney problem. I thought that they made a mistake. Now that I know why it happened I'm glad they removed it but I'm upset that they didn't bother to explain why. Why does everyone treat me like I'm five years old? I'm a grown adult woman! Yes I'm over emotional and a constant worry wart but my doctors should have anticipated this. I've been seeing them since I was 15 years old. Okay maybe I haven't been seeing the gyn for that long but my other doctors should have known(I'm part of an HMO). Yesterday when I saw my primary care doctor he didn't even know what had been done! Don't you think the doctors would keep eachother informed about whats going on? If they hadn't told me they should have told my husband. My mom works for that hospital and I understand why they might have talked to her. Maybe they feel a sense of solidarity. Since the surgery I've discover that my mother has been talking to my doctor without me knowing about it. What happened to patient confidentiality. If I wanted my mother to know things its my right to tell her myself. In the past my mother has even looked in my personal files. She had the nerve to tell me she was doing this but she warned me that I sould not say anything to my doctors because she could get fired. I love my mom so I didn't say anything but I thought she would only do it that one time.

I get why you are angry, and you need to ask your Mother never to behave like that again. At your post op, ask the questions you need answered. Doctors are really lousy communicators sometimes and cause a lot of angst. Hope you feel better soon, be angry as short a time as possible...

If your doctor is talking to your mother about your medical issues, something needs to be done. I know you don't want to get your mom in trouble, so maybe the best thing to do would be to talk to your doctor and tell him that is unacceptable and if there's a another breech in confidentiality, even if it's your family, you will seek disciplinary actions. Normally my first advice would be to get a different doctor, but I know that can be hard soemtimes, and if you've been with your doctor for a long time I can understand why you wouldn't want to go to someone else. My GP has been my doctor since I was born, and had to go through the "stop talking to my parents" thing when I was a teenager, I've never had another issue and I can't imagine going to any other doctor. Good luck, I hope you find a way to deal with this and feel better about it.

(((sleepingjane)))
I hope you're feeling better since a couple of days have passed. I can see why you are upset, having all these questions and then finding out your dr didn't treat you with the respect and consideration that should have been shown you.
I hope you can think this through and communicate calmly and directly with each of the people who need to hear your side of this and how you want to be treated in the future. You have an opportunity to show them you aren't going to be over-emotional and can handle the truth and want to be treated like the adult that you are.

This is an emotionally-charged time for most women. I'm so sorry you have had to deal with this additional burden of information right now, of all times. I hope you can set it aside and let the anger go. It takes twice as much energy to be angry and you don't have it to spare right now. If you can't deal with talking to these people now, give it time and do it when you feel up to it. You've learned a lot recently and it does need to be addressed at some time. Focus on you right now and I hope things are going smoothly for you today.
: Rita

I understand why you are upset. Was your husband around to talk to the surgeon afterwards? If he was your dh needed to speak up and say 'I am the husband, speak to me" I usually do not get to speak to my GYN after surgery, because I am so out of it.
Your GP may not have gotten the reports yet from your GYN. With the holiday and it just being a month, the records may not be to their office yet.
I would mention to your GYN NOT to speak to your mother. Make sure she is not marked on any of your paperwork with yoru OK to speak to. I know I have an area on all my medical paperwork I have filled out for a second contact person, which is my mother. But my GYN knows to first and foremost talk with my DH.