I'm so overwhelmed...

Hello HysterSisters. I've been reviewing this website for about 2 weeks now and decided to register. My surgery is scheduled for March 16th for a TAH (may save ovaries). I'm 38 years old, and I feel like a child.

I've researched and re-researched everything from what to take to the hospital to how long to wait to have sex. I know I'm well informed, but I feel so frightened. My DH is very supportive, but I dont' feel like he "gets it", or if he does, he's afraid too, and can't talk about it.

I am also in recovery and have been sober for almost 4 years. The idea of having to take drugs is frightening to me. I'm definitely afraid of the the PCM (patient controlled medication)...I'm an addict for goodness sakes! Not to mention the Vicodin at home. I've been on Darvocet for the last 3 weeks due to the pain that I'm experiencing.

I just need some support. I also need to stop smoking now....
Arrrrggggghhh!

Hi Honeybee:

Welcome to the site. I know what you mean when you say your DH is supportive, but doesn't really "get it". I get it. He's trying, but this is out of his realm of understanding. He has nothing to base this decision on, or your pain on, or the emotional toll this takes. He has nothing to relate it to, so he tries, but leaves you feeling a little chilly. All I can tell you is, he tries and that is good. On this site you will speak to ladies who can truly relate, as can I and we know what you are feeling.

First, we are all scared. We are all frightened. We are going through a major abdominal surgery. Not a little shot, a major surgery, we should be a litttle frightened. However, that being said, once you have done your research and made the best decision you can, be comfortable with your decision. Be happy, because chances are it will take away the pain that you are living with.

Let me help you deal with your addiction. My BF is recovering from Vicodin and he had to have a surgery recently and we weren't sure how that would go, so here are some pointers for handling that.

First, let me start by saying "congratulations on your soberness". That is quite an accomplishment and I am very impressed. I know it is not easy. I have seen it. Please ask your doctor BEFORE your surgery to not give you the PCM. If you need pain medication, let the nurses give it to you and monitor what they are giving you. ALSO, talk to your doctor about the medication you will take home. Vicodin is in one family of meds (it escapes me which one now), but there are other families of meds that are not addictive and do not feed into that addiction. They know what they can give you and how much, but you MUST tell your doctor BEFORE your surgery to have that set up in advance.

You have support. 24/7. We are here to help. I would recommend you talk to your doctor about the best way to stop smoking. You don't want to do anything drastic without them knowing, yet you don't want to put anything else in your system (like the patch) without them knowing, so talk to your dr. and see what he has to say.

Take care of yourself.

Hugs,
Denise

Hello, and

We're so happy you decided to register and officially join the Hyster Sisters community! The members here have unlimited hugs to distribute at every stage in your journey to good health!

Please click on "For Men" in the top banner line of this page, and see if you think the Mr. HysterSisters site has information that can help your hubby understand what you are experiencing.

I think it would be wise to explain your fear of drug addiction to all the medical personnel who are helping you. You can't be the first person who is in recovery, and having a hysterectomy. I would imagine that they would know the best way to treat your pain under the circumstances.

Many s and Best Wishes to You!

Thank you for your support. I'm sure I'll get through this, with your support. I'm very grateful to this site!

... I just went to my pre-op appointment at a hosptial which also uses the PCA system and the nurse explained to me that the amount of dose is regulated, based on your weight, and there is a delay built in so you cannot accidently overdose yourself. (And yes, I realize addiction is both a mental and physical condition but I thought I'd mention what I had been told about the safeguards.)

As for the fear ... welcome to the club. I think we're all scared. Intellectually, I know it is ridiculous but emotions are not intellectual. So I'm scared too. This board is a good place to be scared. Everyone understands.

This may make you chuckle .... As a non-drinker who has never used illegal drugs, I confess that while I'm not looking forward to the hospital, surgery, recovery etc., I am wondering what it feels like to be "drugged". So I'm actually looking forward to the PCA button and a safe chance to find out. I may make notes .... <grin>

Good luck in dealing with everything and keep well,
IslandScribe

arial
I had the same problem with my DH he was supportive however he did not understand why the healing process was so long. So I went the Mr. Hystersister and found a webb site that shows the surgery and he watched it and had a whole new additude about the recovery.

I also read that the recovery from this is harder to heal from than heart surgery. Let him know that as well.

Best of luck and I am here for you anytime you need a friend.
Kristy

Kristy,
I know what you mean about the recovery taking longer than heart surgery. My DH is only 27 and has had 2 open heart surgeries (at 4 days old and then as a teen) and he agrees. He was back to school after only a couple weeks with only the limitations due to his condition, not from post op. He doesnt understand completely the surgery I am going in for, but the length of recovery time means something to him.

Tiffany

I've been talking to some people I know in recovery, and I found out alot about the meds, too. Thank you! I'm feeling a little better about it all. Much more calm than I thought I would ever be at 3 weeks out. I'm starting to take your tips and hints and put them on paper and am getting my castle package together. I quit smoking on March 1st. Lots to do over the next few weeks. I have to train my temp at work, finish getting the rest of my stuff together. My DH bought me the best rocker recliner that we could afford, so i can have a comfortable place to rest in the living room. It hardly takes any strength at all. (of course, it's "his" after I've recovered,but at least I've got 6-8 weeks of it!
Talk to you soon! Love, Honeybee!

I know about pain, and enjoy it, for it means that I'm living. However, I know when too much pain is there. I'm an alcoholic, and I do have an analgesic that doesn't mess with me, nor call to my attention to alcohol. It is not for everyone either. It is called Ultracet.

I'll be going under the gun with TAH/BSO late March 2005, due to family stuff, and findings in ultrasound/exam anyway. Fun stuff, and this hysterectomy job is not the most major procedure I've been through.

Pain is part of the healing, so, sometimes we have to accept it after a point.

Take care,
Sheryl

HoneyBee03, I'm with you. I checked out the site for a couple of weeks before registering. My original surgery was for March 21st and then a little over a week ago I got a call that they had moved it up to March 7th, this weekend was the 1st time it hit me. I have read and been scared, the read more and been relieved, and so on. I'm not sure that my husband gets it since I don't think I get it too. I just want to think positive. I'm not afraid of the recovery time but I am afraid of the meds, mainly because I cannot handle painkillers. For some reason, I get violently ill with perecot, demerol and can't handle too much codiene. That is really my only true fear now is the drugs. Many people mention morphine, I've never had that but I hope I can just bite the bullet. I too smoke, tried to quit and withdrawels will add since it is a smoke free hospital, even outside. Hang in there and just stay with the board, you are not alone.

Patty