I dont think I can do it!

Hello ladies, well the fear has finally set in. I have been fine with everything untill today! The hospital called to let me know that the insurance was approved and how much my cost would be. After I hung up I was crying uncontrolably, I am scared of being different after the surgery. I am also affraid of how long it will take me to recover and what if something goes wrong?? I have three girls under the age of 9 and wouldnt want them to grow up without a mother. Am I over reacting to this feeling? My mother in-law keeps telling me; are you sure you need this? Am I being selfesh? I feel better already telling you all how I feel, I try so hard not to let my family see how scared I am so they wont tell me to not go through with it. Thanks for listening to my worries and sorry it is so long...s to you all!

I'm so sorry you are feeling so scared and nervous about your hyst. I think the fears you are having are pretty normal. In the back of my mind I thought about all kinds of horrifying scenarios. My doctor told my he would be worried about me if I weren't scared. I also feared being different after the surgery, but my fears were all for nothing. I honestly thought I was going to come out of the whole thing like some kind of ugly hormonal beast. That just wasn't the case at all! As a matter of fact, I think I came out of it better than I went into it. I was a pretty crabby thing with those long periods (didn't stop for 4 mos.)! Just ask my family and the people I work with!! Oh my! Actually I came out of it with much more of an inner calm.

The recovery is long, that's true, and yes, there is pain. But, the pain is managed very well with medication. My pain was not all that bad except the day of the surgery and then it was controlled with pain meds. There will be lots of restrictions. You won't be able to life over 5 lbs (maybe less) for the first 3-4 weeks, you won't be able to bend to pick things up and yes, you will need lots of rest. It can be managed with some help.

Your fear of something horrible going wrong during the recovery is normal too. When you are waiting all of these thoughts go through your mind. Ultimately, only you can decide if this surgery is right for you. Weigh the pros and cons. Become informed about options and alternatives that you might have. If you decide to go through with it put your energy into planning for it.

I hope this helps you in some small way. You will be in my thoughts and prayers! And here is a big for you! Much love!

Your reaction is perfectly normal!!! If you weren't freaking out, I would be worried about you, girl!!!



Your fears of leaving your girls are also normal. If you take a peek at our Pull Down Menus at the bottom of the home page, you will even see a little section that deals with thoughts of death....when we face major surgery, we face our own mortality...and that is SCARY!!! But it is part of emotional rollercoaster that is "waiting". Being scared, worried, anxious, terrified, crazy...these are things that we have all felt. The best thing I can tell you is that you WILL be different afterward...you will be BETTER.

You will not be sick, in pain, bleeding constantly, anxious, bloated, crabby, and too tired to play with your girls. You will be healthy. The most overwhelming feeling I had when I first opened my eyes in the recovery room was RELIEF! I was smiling so big that the PACU nurse asked me why...I said..."I am SO glad to be alive!"....I think she thought I was wacko.

Everything about my recovery was completely tempered by my relief at having made it through...I was alive, so what if I was a little sore!!

Please believe me when I tell you that what you are feeling now is the worst you will feel. Sure, you'll be sore, you'll be tired, but that will soon pass, and your life will get better and better.

Hang in there, keep reading and posting, and we will get you through this!!

Karen

Thank you so much ladies! I feel much better knowing that it is all normal..s to you both and god bless!

Lady -- may your weekend be filled with good things and as much peace as you can muster. Blessings for a good night's sleep on Sunday. And, blessings for a successful surgery and a healthy recovery. God willing, I will follow two days after you and am having the same thoughts you are. Are't the sisters great to help us through? Blessings and peace,
Margie

I have just one question for you?

Well maybe two. Is it selfish to want to feel good? To want to have the energy to keep up with those precious children?

There is absolutely nothing selfish about wanting to feel good and be an energetic wife and mother.

As for the choice of having or surgery or not, it is a personal decision which sometimes doesn't leave us much choice. But if you must worry about something, don't let it be about being selfish. And don't allow anyone to make you feel guilty about whatever decision you choose to make. It's your body and its your life. Make the best of it and choose what will give you the most peace.

Good Luck in whatever you decide!

Dear Ladies In Waiting,

I guess I'm weird, because I was calm before my surgery. Maybe it was because I did so much research beforehand, and because I got my every inch of my house cleaned - even on the outside - before the big day. Most of all, I think it had to do with looking forward to finally "doing it" and not having to deal with the pain, depression, backaches, irritability, extreme fatigue and mess of horrible periods every 26 days for the last 20 years of my life!

I've mentioned this before on other threads, but everything I worried about before the surgery turned out to be minor! The pain was my main worry. No problem. The "pain" isn't like a sharp, stabbing, throbbing pain - it's more like a big soreness. Really! Very manageable with the pain meds they give you.

The main thing I need to prepare you for is when you come home. Make sure you have PLENTY of pillows for your bed. Getting comfortable in bed and turning over is pretty tough the first week. Don't get discouraged - by the 2nd week, you'll be amazed at how different and good you feel! Have plenty of yummy soup in the cabinet - that's all I felt like eating. Take the hospital water pitcher home with you and rent a hospital tray table for your bedside.

Think of yourself as a true princess - enjoy the attention and the flowers and cards. Thank all the nurses profusely and tell all your family how much you appreciate their help. The rest will all follow, and isn't bad at all!

Healing and calming thoughts your way!

Maggie

TAH/Burch Bladder Repair/Endo., Aden., Fibroids, Cysts on Ovaries.

Lady

Unlike you I wasn't at all worried about my upcoming hyst. In fact I didn't think that the day would ever get here!!!:time2:I only had ten days to prepare.

I did however become a "tad bit tense" the night before and the morning of. The waiting to go to pre-op and the waiting to talk to my one more time was boring!

You know what got me through all of that? I just kept reminding myself that I was gonna feel sooooooooo much better. That once again I would be able to "enjoy" my husband and live life the way I couldn't for too many years.

I had my TAH 1 month before my 31st birthday and it was the best present anybody could have given me!!!:

Since my surgery my energy level is through the roof, I've dropped 25 lbs. and now look better than I have in years. Now I can wrestle around with my kids( and ocassionally my hubby) and not be in pain for a day or two afterwards.

I hope for your sake that you decide to have the surgery and it's the right choice for you.

s and peace.

That's what the HysterSisters keep saying, & they're totally right. But hearing about your mother-in-law is making me glad I went through it alone, aside from a few good friends visiting when I got home. (I have no family in the area.)

For what it's worth, abdominal hysterectomies have a very low complication rate & are usually quicky, straight-forward operations. You could even ask, if you haven't already, whether you could have an epidural & a seditive instead of general anesthesia. That's what I would have don't if I didn't have laparoscopy.