difficulty with orgasms.....

I had my hysterectomy back on November 13 and got the all clear to go ahead and resume relations with the hubby. Well the few times we have done anything its like my drive is there, but I cant reach the peak like before. Its like I am constantly left hanging cause I just cant get off now. This is driving me crazy and I dont know what to do to fix it. My ovaries were left in place and seam to be working fine. What can I do to fix this or am i permanently broken?

Do you try clitoral stimulation? Do you ever use a vibrator? Have you ever tried masturbation to see if you can just get yourself off? You can't expect anyone else to unless you can do it for yourself. After surgery things might be a bit different (clitoris and g-spot nerves should all be intact and never touched) and you might have to experiment a bit before finding out exactly what works for you.

My guess is that it could possibly be performance anxiety. I wouldn't say you are permanently broken at all.

I agree with Sarah....Performance anxiety.....you were probably worried, about being able to ever orgasm again, way before you got the all clear from doctor. You may be psyching yourself out. as hard as it is; try not to think "whats wrong" and try different stimulation...the clitoris is the big one, and also the are around the vajajay entry! sorry if that was TMI lol...but try doing this yourself without your husband around, or him knowing. It will ease some of the worry in your mind if no one is observing you. Be patient with yourself, and if all else fails, talk to the doctor. ((HUGS))

If there was ever a time for a vibrator, after hyst is the time. They work wonders as well as putting some fun back in the bedroom.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by SCVGal If there was ever a time for a vibrator, after hyst is the time. They work wonders as well as putting some fun back in the bedroom.

I love you!

Oh its not for lack of trying. Even with myself I cant get that fulfillment, like before. Plus I didn't even think it would affect how things would work as far as sex goes since the gspot and clitoris were left alone. I have always been a huge fan of toys of all kinds long before this and yea nothing is working. Maybe my cervix really was a big part of how I would get off before, if thats the case then I am perma broken and will need to try to find some other way but I honestly don't know what could fix that.

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Originally Posted by deadheadstella Oh its not for lack of trying. Even with myself I cant get that fulfillment, like before. Plus I didn't even think it would affect how things would work as far as sex goes since the gspot and clitoris were left alone. I have always been a huge fan of toys of all kinds long before this and yea nothing is working. Maybe my cervix really was a big part of how I would get off before, if thats the case then I am perma broken and will need to try to find some other way but I honestly don't know what could fix that.

I don't think your broken, you just need more time. The first time I tried took FOREVER, and I think it was due to my fears and expectations. Read some sexy books, watch some porn if that is your thing, doll yourself up and wear sexy clothes. And then have fun. Try not to stress too much and think of the bright side that you can have sex whenever wherever because you don't need to worry about AF... your girly bits will work again!

Definitely sounds like you just need more time. 6wks, 4 wks, 8 wks are all magic numbers for some. Others 10 or more. My magic number was 10 wks post op. That's when my cuff was healed enough and all the tingles and other "yummy" feelings finally all came back. I had no desire whatsoever up until then. My clitoris felt numb so if it was touched, nothing, nada, it was a dud. But around 10 wks all the old sensations began to come back so for me my body just was not healed enough down there for any type of response before then. So give it some more time sister and see how things go. Also, if things go longer and you get worried you can always keep your dr in the loop. Hope that helps.