My DH has lost his ever lovin mind!!!!!

My Dh was great - treated me like the princess I was for the entire 6 weeks. The one that surprised me was my mother in law (who has 8 children and had a hyst herself many years ago). I had my TAH/BSO late in the afternoon on a Weds., and was released on Fri. AM. She had invited DH over for fried fish on Fri. noon, but when I was released Fri. AM told DH that I might enjoy coming over for fish also. DH told her that I had only eaten very lightly since Tues. night, and didn't think that greasy fish would exactly appeal to me. I really wasn't up to a ride over there and sitting up, just wanted to eat light and lie down. Bottom line, I don't think many people realize how much rest we need those first weeks just to heal. Glad my hubby and daughter were there to keep me in line.

WOW

I hope that your husband turns around and realizes that you really need his support. My surgery is scheduled for this September. My Dh and mom will be around. We both adore my mother so her being there for me is awesome. I am really out going so there will be no difficulty in DH knowing how I feel. I am one of the lucky ones DH does all the laundry and shopping now anyway. He hates to vacuum so my mom said no problem she would do it. I planned my surgery so the girls would be back in school. I plan on totally recuping from this.

If hubby won't help, hire a housekeeper and take care of your self.If he wants to go to the party then let him go without you. You can celebrate the next 4th of July with a bang. Period free!
Take care

Cath

Oh! You're not alone! My DH went so far as to say that I wasn't having "major surgery." Was I ever :burning:!! He even thought that I would be back at work within a week or so because his "Aunt Liz" had an LAVH a few years ago and was back at work after two weeks and went on a long car trip 3 weeks later. That "myth" is also perpetuated by my MIL who says she was out "saving the world" 1 month after her TAH. (Uh-huh) Speaking of my in-laws...my surgery is on the 20th of July, on Aug 19th it's their 40th anniversary and they are expecting us to be there for it. They live in Montreal....a full 6 to 7 hour drive from here. We have to go exactly 4 weeks after my surgery....what are the chances?

I suspect that a lot of it has to do with denial. I know my hubby had trouble facing up to the fact that this is a lot bigger than he thought it would be. (hey...it's a lot bigger than *I* even thought it would be) But it's nothing that a lot of gentle educating on your part can't remedy.

Hang in there...hopefully by the time we go to the castle for our crowining our hubbies will be fully educated and prepared to wait on us hand and foot.

Laura, isn't family wonderful.You would think they would be the ones that understand the most and would be the most helpful.Oh well just be thankful your mother inlaw lives 6 hours away.LOL!

Cath

Laura,

Can you fly to Montreal instead? I'm 5 weeks post op. No way would I want to drive from here to Santa Barbara (about the same distance), but we're considering fyling down there for the weekend next week -- just to give me a change of scenery -- I'm going stir crazy here...

I know that there was alot that I didn't know about this surgery until I began doing reading and finding this site and talking to my Dr. So it has been a learning experience for both me and my DH.

It is interesting that so many women go through this, but there really isn't much discussion of it. Even now I hesitate to share it with people. That is one of the reasons that this site is so wonderful.

I think that perhaps for many of us this is the first thing to happen in our lives and relationships that forces us to slow down, limit our physical abilities for a while, experience pain and illness, look at life a little differently, and yes, even contemplate our mortality. This is a big deal, not just physically, there is alot going on for both you and your dh on so many levels. It's time to be kind to each other and really show what good partners we can be.

Last year my husband was involved in a really scary accident at work. His hand was caught in a machine. Thank God he didn't loose any fingers. It really was life changing for us. I took care of him for quite a while after that. I think that contributes to how wonderfully he is caring for me now. Plus we have both lost close loved ones and felt life's heights and depths.

This an opportunity! To be close, to care for each other, to share our deepest hopes and fears. Isn't that what marriage is all about?! :inlove: