Emotional wreck - BF MIA

I am sitting here wondering why it is that now when I need my friends and family they are not really here for me.

I am the sort of person who is always there for my friends when they need me..I visited my sister in law several times after her surgery and she has not even visited me once since my surgery.. not even a phone call.. am done pretending it does not matter.. am mad like hell with some of my friends and family... as for boyfriend.. am not so sure I will not kick him to the curb after I get well.. he has not called or visited for 4 days!!!!!!

Is it normal to feel emotionally overwhelmed?? am not happy today.

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Originally Posted by mwetu I am sitting here wondering why it is that now when I need my friends and family they are not really here for me. I am the sort of person who is always there for my friends when they need me..I visited my sister in law several times after her surgery and she has not even visited me once since my surgery.. not even a phone call.. am done pretending it does not matter.. am mad like hell with some of my friends and family... as for boyfriend.. am not so sure I will not kick him to the curb after I get well.. he has not called or visited for 4 days!!!!!! Is it normal to feel emotionally overwhelmed?? am not happy today.

Morning from Kent UK,

You are certainly not alone being so emotional.

Sorry you feel so neglected, I sound the same type of person as you, always help, normally at everyone's beck and call, then bang, everyone disappears when I cant be of any use to them.

I felt the same as you, but it really does help to visit here, and vent your anger, and OK it wont be practical help, but it helps that there is always someone here who has been in the same situation, and will offer support.

I have found over the last 3 weeks that just reading the hystersisters posts, talking about all different subjects makes me really feel as if I'm not alone, I hope that you can feel the same.

Chin up

BIG HUG for you:

Someone said to me before surgery that I would find out who my real friends were! It certainly does make you reevaluate a few people!

I also think some people are just not comfortable with dealing with "sick"people - no excuse really but can explain those absences.

When I asked why a few friends hadn't called or been round they said they didn't know if I was up for visitors - I guess I should have called them and asked if they could come and keep me company! Maybe we sometimes come across as too practical and independent and friends forget that we need help too!

Get on the phone and tell your friends you are fed up and need some company, I'm sure they'll rush over full of apologies!

Wishing you a speedy recovery x

I'll second what kazwaz said. Maybe they think you're not up for visitors and feel you need to rest. Call them. They're probably dying to see you and are afraid to call. Hugs.

Wow, can really relate to this post. I am a very social person and felt like everyone just abandoned me. My best friend of like 40 years didnt even as much as text me back. My friend who lives next door did stuff for me, but didnt really visit with me. She is the kind of person that if she cant fix it she avoids it.
Even though my hubby was so amazingly attentive, I needed that sisterly compannionship!
My daughter lives an hour away and had a horrible cold, so she couldnt even come see me.
Just hang in there and like one of the earlier posts said reach out to your friends and come here for that moral support we all need!

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Originally Posted by dizzyhead Morning from Kent UK, You are certainly not alone being so emotional. Sorry you feel so neglected, I sound the same type of person as you, always help, normally at everyone's beck and call, then bang, everyone disappears when I cant be of any use to them. I felt the same as you, but it really does help to visit here, and vent your anger, and OK it wont be practical help, but it helps that there is always someone here who has been in the same situation, and will offer support. I have found over the last 3 weeks that just reading the hystersisters posts, talking about all different subjects makes me really feel as if I'm not alone, I hope that you can feel the same. Chin up BIG HUG for you:

Thank you both for having the courage to post exactly what I was thinking. I am very surprised at the lack of help I have gotten from friends and family. I was just talking about this with my husband. I truly am crushed. It seems that the election is more important to many of them. They are busy helping out with the election and can't really get to me but hope that I'm ok and sure that my amazing husband is doing a great job taking care of me...really???? I am hurt and I wonder how long it will take for that hurt and resentment to pass...will it make me not make a dish/dinner for others when I know their plates are full? This made me feel so good to read that others feel this way.

I feel so bad for you about your BF....maybe he just does not get it because he's not living with you day to day. I know hubby wants me to rest and heal...but he sure could use a hand here or there. I'm so very sorry that you feel so alone in this battle. I'm not big into giving others excuses for poor behavior....

Thanks so much ladies for letting me vent and also for the moral support.


Well, I have slept off my misery most of the day and wonder what I will do at night.. lol.

I am off for my evening walk and hope it will make me feel better..

What is the connection between my heart and incision? Today my incision is painful and pulling on one side.

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Originally Posted by Daisies123 I'll second what kazwaz said. Maybe they think you're not up for visitors and feel you need to rest. Call them. They're probably dying to see you and are afraid to call. Hugs.

Hmmmm I hear you ladies but I hate to feel 'needy'.

I've had the same experience with friends whom I've been there for many times, feel like I have no friends anymore. My BFF did call at 2-1/2 weeks right as I hit send on a message that I know she hadn't received yet, so I guess our spirits connected at the same time but haven't heard from her since, nor anyone else all week. Thankful for a supportive hubby, but still feel let down and hurt. I really need to branch out, once I can walk that is.

Poor you. Can relate as I was very disappointed with family and friends who just did not seem to care or call or visit. Some did. Some people I didn't know so well were amazing as they helped me out when I asked them to take care of some things for me. And as for Facebook "friends" only about 3 made any comments at all even to several status reports I made for first and second hospital stays. Not one single get well card either. At least I didn't have to bother writing thank you notes.

The few people who were great or thoughtful I will remember and am grateful to. I have not burnt any bridges with anyone I have been hurt or disappointed with yet. I am waiting until I am feeling better before I take any decisions. But there are some where I am not rushing back into contact with either.

It may be some of your friends are not sure what to do or if they should visit yet. No excuse but it could be an explanation. They may be waiting for you to call. No need to feel needy. You could call, see what they say when they know it is you and just say you are slightly better and would certainly appreciate some company (and help). I found if I just came out and asked "could you do this for me" people usually said yes. But anything vague and they didn't do a thing.

And I am back to helping out but may not rush to do as much as I used to.

Hope some of your friends step up.