I Love My Uterus (childbirth, pregnancy mentioned)

I know it's so hard to wait, but before you know it you're surgery will be done and each week you'll feel so much better. I can't believe it's been three months since mine and now I'm walking the dog; vacuuming; doing all the stuff I always did. Time went fast!

For the first time in years I'm able to travel; go shopping; or just be gone from home for hours with not a care in the world to my monthly period anymore.

Life is wonderful and those of you ladies in waiting, all the best to you on your upcoming surgeries.

OK, what a fantastic thread. Jblv and Katew and vervette, thank you so much for your suggestions. I am an avid journaler, but haven't let this issue hit the pages yet. I like how you included the happy things, the worries, the uncensored version of what you are going through.

Today I did something that made my husband laugh, but it helped A LOT. I turned on my Adiemus CD(African music) and did an interpretive dance (by myself with the blinds closed) representing my single life to the present. Slumped shoulders and swaying for loneliness, hope of pregnancy, cradling arms for carrying a baby, smiling, crying, whirling in confusion with the hysterectomy decision... and then, ok, the last part of the dance consisted of me handing my uterus to the Lord. In the account of Job in the Bible after losing his family, his possessions, and his health, he says something like, "What the Lord hath given the Lord hath taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." I feel that way with my uterus... He let me give life to three beautiful sons, and now it is His to take back.

I think you have to see the whole picture, too. The miracle of giving life is great, but it is also a miracle to be able to nurture, sustain and replenish the life you have made. My boys have watched so much TV as I've given in to the pain and gone to bed... I am sooo excited to spend more quality time with them and my husband.

Blessings and best wishes in this new time of life.

~Ellie

I went out about two weeks before surgery and bought a toy poodle. I have 3 kids, well their all teenagers now, but the idea of never having the choice to have a baby was depressing! I love walking through the store and looking at those little baby shoes and socks! Anyway my little dog was their when i came home and though I thought I could scream when she would walk across my tummy she gave me great company and I am so glad I got her. :dance2:

I too got a small dog... a mini doxie and she is my fur baby and i love her so much.
Ellie- wow, i never thought of it in the account of Job, what an awesome picture you painted, made me tear up a bit. My mother told me when i expressed my sadness to her about losing my little girls first home, "honey its done its job and its time to let it go now" HOW AWESOME was the picture of Job in saying ""What the Lord hath given the Lord hath taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

AMEN AND AMEN! Truly He has bore our burdens and afflictions.

God bless all of you!

I truly appreciate this thread. I am 35 and have two beautiful girls ages 3 and 4. I am divorced and have been trying to convince myself that I did not want anymore children, but I am not so sure. Both of my pregnancies went without a hitch and my uterus has never given me any problems. My LAVH is for cervical cancer. I know it needs to come out to save me, but I am still feeling the loss.

My friends and family are also telling me what is the big deal, you have two beautiful children and be grateful for that. My problem is having that choice taken away from me forever!

Thank you to everyone who has posted and all of the thoughts. I still have four more weeks before the surgery and a lot more crying to do.

Peanut,

Thank you for post! I had a surge of gratitude and tears as I read your last sentence. I have listened to my Handel's Messiah soundtrack many times with that scripture, and the music came into my mind... I appreciate your faith! What a thought, too, that He has born this and can help us just as He helped Job...
love,
Ellie

Ellie,

Funny that I read your post and posted yesterday then went to our seek and soak at church last night (seek the Lord and soak in His presence, prayer and worship) and the last song we sang was Blessed be the name of the Lord....the one that goes
"Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your name, Blessed be the name of the Lord, Blessed be Your glorious name" then the bridge says "you give and take away, you give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be your name" and when we sang that part...IT HIT ME..that is one of my favorite praise songs, but i never really knew where the scripture was from UNTIL NOW! I cried and cried and that song had new meaning at that moment and will forever be viewed different in my heart. He took away the pain and suffering, but not before giving me a blessing.
I couldnt have done this without my church and my faith adn my family support. I pray that each of you who have yet to go thru this, will have such a support system and for those who do not...may God carry you thru this storm and set you down when the waves have calmed so that you will again be able to walk beside Him.

Ellie, Thank you so much. You can PM if you'd like I was your age when I began having REALLY serious issues!
Its good to know that i still have faith, i was starting to wonder myself :-)

Love,
Jen

Peanut...that is so cool!! In a few weeks we are having a talent evening at our church. My one daughter and two of the associate pastor's daughters are signing to that same song, so we have been listening to it all the time as she practices. It is true that He gives and He takes away. When we count all that He has given us we have been blessed more than we can ever say, and who are we to complain when this lies in our path. He is our heavenly Father, who loves us more than we love ourselves and He knows what is best for us. Besides, I know that He will be with me as I go into that operating room and I know that He will guide the surgeon's hands. And...worst case scenario is that I would die during surgery well, as Paul said, "For me to die is gain, but to live is more advantages for....(my loved ones)
And since He holds our lives in His hands I know that His will shall be done.

Having said all that, He also knows our 'frame' and He knows that as women this is important to us and therefore it isn't wrong to spend some time grieving, but don't leave Him out of our grieving process.

God Bless you for your wonderful words,

Liz

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I have 3 great kids, my husband had a vasectomy, and I don't want anymore babies. BUT I cry every time I think about having a hysterectomy. I'm not worried about surgery, I guess just about losing a part of me. My husabnd is having a hard time understanding why I'm so upset. I know afterwards will be better, no more month long periods, having to bring extra clothes to work, and the cramps. I have felt not so alone, Thanks for all the posts!!!!!!!!

I know what you mean autumnlady. when i walked into the op room, i wasnt scared, i knew my hubby was praying and that soon there would be friends and family there with him praying and i knew that the Lord was there with me hold my hand and guiding my dr and i have healed very well and pretty fast i think and i feel great and the sadness was all gone by the time i woke up from surgery (which by the way was almost 10 hours later LOL i couldnt wake up for nothing). I had peace about the surgery, about the loss and about Him carrying me and my family thru and He was faithful.

God bless you all...its so awesome to find women of faith, complete strangers to me, yet sisters in more ways than one.

Jen