Decision driving me INSANE

Can anyone help me? I am scheduled for my TAH on 4/9/07 and I’m worried to death!!! I am sure this is something everyone out there has gone through, so I am looking for your advice. Here goes… I am 38 and have had uterine fibroids for 20+ years. I had a myomectomy when I was 18 to remove most of them, however one could not be removed due to its location (in the uterine muscle wall). I have dealt with the pain all these years through the aid of pain medication and in the last 6 years hypnosis (my last child I used hypno-birthing) and it has been manageable. That was until about 6 months ago when things just started changing. I began having more periods (i.e. 2 a month) which increased the amount of pain I was going thru with the fibroid. With that the severity of the pain has also increased. With my last period the pain was so great with the fibroid, it caused a pain to shoot to my back and then traveled down my leg. I have lived with this so long and have always known that a hysterectomy was going to be inevitable. My delima now is this… I have been reading all these stories about how the sex life changes and the big “O” is difficult, if even, able to be reached. I am divorced now and have been with the same man for over 3 years, we have a TERRIFIC sex life. I am scared to loose that. I have been trying to decide if getting rid of the pain from the fibroids is worth the possibility of loosing my sex drive. My sex drive is better than it has ever been before, in fact my boyfriend says that I am the man in the relationship because I want sex more than him. I do have pain during sex if the fibroid is hit that does cause me to “jump” and it does cause bleeding during sex sometime. But that doesn’t deter me from continuing. And what about oral sex??? What happens to that? Is that gone as well, and what is it even like for the man? This is such a struggle that I know all of you have dealt with, and this decision is driving me INSANE!! On one hand I feel that my body is trying to tell me that it just can’t do what it used to do. Then on the other hand is now the time to take care of it, or should I try to wait it out a little longer and just wait for menopause to happen naturally?? It may sound very weird, but I feel like my uterus is just not working normally anymore. I have always been in tuned with my body and the pain that I have been having HAS changed and now there is abdominal pain with it. Can anyone help me and give me some advice as to whether I should go through with it now or later? I am only going to be able to take off work for 1 week and 3 days so that is not helping my decision either. Sorry, this was so long. Thanks for taking the time to read my novel. LOL. Take care.

Dear swcakes2:

I too was afraid of what having a TAH BSO would do to my sex life. I also went through changes in my period after my last child which I believe is peri-menopause-related. You are still young and in your sexual prime. I would definitely get a second opinion before you proceed. I got my second opinion and that doc is recommending that much less be done that the first doc. He isn't even recommending a hyst. (unless my biopsy comes back positive) in which case I would accept it as I've done everything else to avoid having one as I am still pre-menopausal.

I know that good docs tend to book up months in advance. Call another doc and see if they can fast-track you to get an appt. well before your scheduled surg. date. You need to tell them time is of the essence. See if they can call you if there's a cancellation. If it's not life-threatening, don't rush into it just to fit some doctor's schedule. I wish you well in whatever you decide to do.

Donna (49) ovarian mass, scarring, adhesions, bowel/bladder issues

I'm 29 and had TAH due to complications after my myomectomy in November. My uterus just doubled over on itself and pinched the left ovary in the incision I too suffered long painful periods though not as long as you have. You are one tough cookie in my book. I can tell you that I didn't lose the ability to have the big "o", oral is the same, and I will report back to you next Thursday (my all clear date) to let you know the rest. I have always been considered "the man in the relationship" as you put it and that is definitly still there. I am so at peace now. I feel 100% better mind, body, and soul. I have a previous post from earlier today where I was freaked out b/c I have been dizzy but now my dh and son have it too. It turns out we all got the stomach flu Good luck to you on your journey and while I feel a 2nd opinion is always a good idea I know I couldn't stand the pain for one more minute and I didn't realize how much those fibroids took away my quality of life.

All I can say is that once I made the decision, which was this week, I felt like a lead weight had been lifted. Our sex life has been so affected by my pain and frequent periods that my husband and I both agree we can't imagine it could get any worse!

I was very tearful about it all until I called the doc and told her I wanted the hysterectomy. I'm having my ovaries removed also, but I've heard so many good stories from friends and family about great outcomes, and with good HRT I think I'm really feeling positive now. Just one more month of pain to get through, a bit of recovery, and hopefully we'll start a new chapter in our lives, sexually speaking.

Bookah212:

Thanks for they reply. I am beginning to feel better about this, and decided yesterday to go ahead with it. I stopped taking my pain medicine 3 days ago and yesterday was the deciding factor for me. My job basically requires me to sit in front of a computer and type all day. It was so bad yesterday that even with the hypnosis I could not get a grip on the pain. Not only everything else, but just sitting is becoming more and more unbearable and like you I never realized how much the pain is taking away the quality of my life. I guess since I have dealt with it for soooo long it has just become a part of my everyday existence. But I'm done with it! Twenty years is long enough!!

Wendy

Dear Katew:

All I've been doing the past week is crying too. Yesterday I made the decision to go through with it. Although I do feel a weight has lifted, now the worry sets in because I have had surgeries before and I know this is going to be a very long recovery which I am not lucky enough to be able to take the time to do. I will have to be back at work in 1 1/2 weeks so this is going to be really rough. But I know I will get through it. I have wonderful friends and family that are there to help me. I see that your are scheduled 10 days after me. I wish you the BEST! My thoughts and prayers willl be with you. And yes, I do hope this is a new and WONDERFUL chapter in both are lives, sexually speaking.

Wendy
Age 38. Ovarian Cysts, Uterine fibroid for 20 years and almost over!

Wendy, congrats to you. I will pray for a smooth recovery. Is it possible for you to link to your office from a home computer. I have been working like this with a laptop on a board across the armrests of my recliner. It is way easier than sitting up straight. That really hurts for the first 4 weeks.

Bookah212:

I could do the work at home however they won't let me. They want us IN the office. And actually work is fairly slow right now. I would think after 6 years of loyal service and dedication (and being the ONLY person that has been with them for more than 1 year) they would be a little more lenient. But guess not.

I don't know if you feel secure enough to do this or not but I gave my office an ultimatim. I said I either work from home or I don't work until I am cleared from the doctor. There was no way they would fire me b/c then they would have to pay unemployment. GL to you

My OB/GYN told me that if you had "it" before the surgery you will usually after and if you didn't before it usually makes no difference. My desire before was never lacking, but it hurt so much during and after that I sometimes didn't think it was worth it. Now it happens quicker, longer and stronger than before. Also, I learned long ago when I was still in daily pain that my brain was the biggest part of the experience anyway. For me it was all a quality of life issue. My daily life is so much better, and I was willing to risk the chance of a decreased libido to get my life back. Daily pain controlled my life for 5 years. But not now. It is a distant memory and I am so glad I made the choice.