I thought I had my head around this...

Hi Sisters,
Well, I have to say, I am sort of disappointed in myself. I just got back from my Ob/Gyn/Uro; and still don't have a hyster date!.
My Doctor is brilliant; he listened, and guided me gently to the logical conclusion, without putting pressure on me to commit; and I baulked!
He said he could do another laparoscopy, but doubts that would achieve anything. The antibiotics are not working; in fact, I am worse since starting them on Tuesday! He did an ultrasound (Boy was that fun... , not very comfy at all.) Thankfully, the ovaries look ok.
Looking back on the picture taken of my fallopian tubes during the laparoscopy; both the left and right were greatly enlarged; but until a couple of days ago, only my right side ever played up.
So, he tells me, whilst it is my choice; a hysterectomy is the only thing he can do now; but until I am comfortable making that choice, I am to contact him / come in, any time, and just talk if I need to. (I said before, I love my Doctor! In fact, I have to be one of the luckiest ladies alive, as both my GP and Ob/Gyn/Uro Dr.'s are a credit to their profession)
Why can't I get my head around this??? I know I can't keep living on pain meds and antibiotics, which do little / nothing to help. I thought I had done all my grieving over this process, but right now I could just cry. I must be hormonal!
Thanks for letting me blather on. You are all wonderful.
Bless you all.

Snowflake

First, here's a big, gentle for you. Second, I am glad you have what appear to be wonderful Dr's. They give you the information, answer your questions and don't pressure you. That's wonderful. Third you are completely normal! This is not an easy decision to make. Funny, I used to say oh I don't need it any more just yank it all out, but when push came to shove, and it came time to make decision, it took me a long time. Do your homework, and when you are ready you will know it. I suffered 6 months longer then I had to because I was afraid to go ahead with it. I was convinced that I would be lying around after the surgery, still in pain, or with some complication, thinking I should have just lived with the pain and heavy bleeding. I have had numerous surgeries in my lifetime, and this was the hardest decision to make. I guess it is because it involves so many facets of our lives. We worry about the possible physical side effects, we worry about the emotional side effects, and of course the possible sexual side effects. But then you have to weigh the quality of your life right now. I was in so much pain that I spent most of my time curled up on a sofa, or putting on the fake smile, gritting through and telling everyone everything was fine. That got real old, because that wasn't living to me any more. I was tired of being sick and tired! I felt better in recovery, and it wasn't until then that I truly realized just how bad I had been feeling.
Take your time, research and talk to your Dr. and make the choice that is best for you. I hope whatever you decide, you start to feel better soon.

golftaxi,
Thank you for your wonderful post. I am so sorry you went through such a painful / difficult time; but I am so glad the hyster has improved your quality of life.
I know how it is to put on that fake smile and tell the world you are ok; when in fact you aren't. Don't get me wrong; I have a lot to be thankful for, and find plenty to laugh about; but your mind can be a lonely and frightening place, when you have health issues (Or, whatever else you may be dealing with.)
I want to start focusing on my family, not how I feel. I feel really selfish and self absorbed right now. To add to it; I have to go for a bi-lateral mammography and a left ultrasound, on Tuesday, because I have two breast lumps which need to be checked out!
Thanks again for listening to me; and offering support and advice. I appreciate is so very much.

Snowflake

My only regret is that I didn't push for tests and get the surgery done two years sooner, when I first started having the gushing. They waited until I was severely anemic to decide I needed an ultrasound. My decision to have the surgery was easy. My kids are 17/18 so future kids was not a consideration. The possibility of freedom from pain and bleeding outweighed any concerns I had about surgery, and I am glad i did it.

Snowflake_35
It is normal to question if your ready or not . You have alot on your plate right now . And you WILL know when your ready . Hang in there ! I hope your up coming test`s come out for the good!!
You will be in my thought`s and prayer`s !!!

If you want more time to think about this step, it sounds as though you have it. I spent a couple of years thinking about it. My GYN offered it as an option, but my symptoms were manageable, and for quite a while I felt it was something I could live with. Then one day I got my period, and I realized I was just so sick of living this way, and I didn't have to keep on in that way. I'm really glad I had the surgery, I do regret waiting as long as I did, but I just needed that little lightbulb to go on over my head, and then I knew it was the right time. Everyone is going to go through this process a little differently unless they have to have emergency surgery, which isn't the case for you. Take the time you need, put the decision on a shelf for a while if need be.

I just had mine on Feb. 7th and up until the last minute I was not 100% sure I should do it. I did and I am glad I did. I know in the long run it will be better for my health. Take your time and you will know when it is right for you. Our thoughts are with you.