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Laughing Tension Breaker
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12-09-2007, 08:25 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 327
Hysterectomy: December 11th, 2007
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Laughing Tension Breaker
O.k., this is really goofy, but as I face this surgery I'm starting to laugh a lot I don't know if it is nerves or what, but I keep thinking of all of these goofy things and I start chuckling!
So if there is anybody else out there that wants to break the tension with some laughter, this is the thread to do it!
So I go into the bathroom this morning and tweeze my eyebrows, because I don't want the doc and anesthesiologist looking at me thinking "this girl should do something about her eyebrows." ( I mean, they were actually o.k., but I thought I'd just do an overall check to make sure I was presentable). Like the doctor really has time for that?
Then I brought a big bowl of candy to put by my bed, figuring the nurses would be more apt to come in see me if I feed them (o.k., I admit it, I've worked in a hospital, I know the score!)
Also, I'm a skinny person, and those robes are so big, I just hate that. They fly open like a parachutte! And then I was wondering what color socks to buy to match the robe? Just dumb goofy stuff.
Today, my concern is that they won't give me Pepsi when I wake up. I always get Pepsi when I wake up from surgeries, and all of this food restriction stuff isn't going over well. So what if I can't pee , just plug in the cath and bring on the 2 liter
O.k., so I thought we could all use a little entertainment. FEAR=False Evidence Appearing Real.
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12-09-2007, 09:15 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 500
Hysterectomy: January 14th, 2008
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Laughing Tension Breaker
I hear you on the Pepsi thing for sure. I'll take mine by IV too.
I think the candy dish is a great idea and the Hershey kiss looks very appropriate.
The only part I can't relate to is the gown thing--- I just keep wondering if my big old butt will stay covered--- not a pretty sight to imagine.
Maybe I'll take my kokopelli socks to entertain the staff.
This is a good thread.
Downyocean
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12-09-2007, 09:20 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 327
Hysterectomy: December 11th, 2007
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Laughing Tension Breaker
So, I'm curious, where does "downyocean" come from and what does it mean? I saw your ealier post.
I'm a Michigander, and we have a bunch of those sayings too!
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12-09-2007, 09:21 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 128
Hysterectomy: January 15th, 2008
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Laughing Tension Breaker
I have some of the same things going through my head! While I have some more time to ponder these things, I have also given myself some kind of weird check list.
1) Eyebrows, yep that is must. Trim the nose hairs, check for all other stray and unwanted things, these people are going to be seeing me NAKED. I know they see tons of people naked, but I wouldn't want to see me at least semi-groomed. What if I forget to do my toenails and they decide I must be part werewolf or something.
2) If I don't get my coffee after surgery, or some caffiene some how after surgery there will be some tough times for everyone in the hospital and can't they just put it in my IV?
3) Is it rude to have tell everyone to keep leaving my room when I "pass gas"? I mean, yeah, I've just had surgery and will be whacked out, but leave me some dignity please.
4) I will say something stupid, I am sure of that. That kind of makes me giggle right there. After surgeries I tend to tell people they are bugging me, that I think my eye fell out.....you know, things that just aren't right.
5) My Mother is comming in from Canada to help out while I recover, she will come in and start ordering the nurses around. Think of a woman who has the look of smelling poo walking in to a hospital and telling the staff that my room is too hot/cold, dirty, loud, I need a bath, the man dying in the next room is annoying, not to forget everything about my medical history, the incision is crooked....the list can go on and on.
6) What if when they do make my incision and take out my old incisions (c-sections) they staple me up and the tattoo that I have on my old incision, a turtle, now looks like a headless turtle? Do I put a speed boat with a propeller and blood above the turtle? A big pot on an open fire for turtle stew?
I have a great system down for these times and the surgeons know me and my family is well aware of how crazy I am after surgery. I tell everyone as soon as I get to the hosp. that I will do something weird and they keep telling me everyone has their weird things. Of course, after I am fully awake, the staff tells me of things I said, that I was funny and that I sang, that in it's self is bad, I sound like a frog in a blender!
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12-09-2007, 09:25 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 1,798
Hysterectomy: August 21st, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Laughing Tension Breaker
(((jgtalk))) -- too funny! I love the candy dish idea! Wish I'd thought of that.
I did have the BEST day nurse, though - she had me laughing more than I wanted to (it hurt!!). Lorena was from the Phillipines and she was FULL of hilarious stories. OMG.
For whatever reason, she seemed to take a liking to me, and anytime she wanted a break, she'd come in, shut the door, plop down and start with her stories! Didn't even need any candy to lure her in!
Gotta tell you, though, I'm with downyocean on the gown thing. I was worried my big butt would be hanging out for all to see! As soon as I was able, I put on my pj pants to keep everything where it was supposed to be!
Good luck to you ... look forward to hearing from you post-op!!
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12-09-2007, 09:31 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 327
Hysterectomy: December 11th, 2007
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Laughing Tension Breaker
Loki! You've got to work out this turtle thing. Don't let 'em decap the turt! Maybe he can of cut around it, like a CHRISTMAS COOKIE!
You are TOOO funny! I think the propellor/boat thing would be kind of rad (radical). Kind of Ozzy Osborne, I'd go with that one... Rock on! Jone Jet would do it... Reminds me of Johnny Depp (pleasnt thought) when he had his tatoo about Winona Ryder altered to say "Wino" after he broke up with her, same sort of thing.
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12-09-2007, 09:38 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 1,798
Hysterectomy: August 21st, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Laughing Tension Breaker
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Quote: |
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Originally Posted by loki's date
3) Is it rude to have tell everyone to keep leaving my room when I "pass gas"? I mean, yeah, I've just had surgery and will be whacked out, but leave me some dignity please.
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I guess all of my dignity went right out the window during those first few days... heck, I was so thrilled when I finally passed gas - I was announcing it to the world. Seriously, every time the nurse walked in the door, I'd say, "I passed gas three times!!!"
And, when I had a BM, well, forget about it -- I wanted EVERYONE to celebrate with me!!!
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12-09-2007, 09:43 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 128
Hysterectomy: January 15th, 2008
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Laughing Tension Breaker
Ahhh, Johnny Depp, thanks, I need that visual this morning! YUM!!! Maybe I can get a tatt of Captain Jack tying back hair to the turtle if he keeps his head!
I have another (well several) on my stomach area that the Dr. will get a kick out of. He always asks me if I have any new ink and I got one started on my belly/side that will one day say "Lover", but for now just says "over". I think I will tell him that it was put there to remind him to cut over there. (Really it says over because I whimped put on the L part that went on my ribs the day my DH stared it)
I just can't get a strange vision on my Dr. wearing one of those headbands with the big relfector disc on it and Mr. MaGoo glasses out of my head. I keep envisioning him standing there cutting me open and saying things like 'Huh.....would ya look at that....At least she did her eyebrows, but look at that HUGE ZIT on her chin!'
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12-09-2007, 10:48 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 500
Hysterectomy: January 14th, 2008
Surgery Type: TVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Laughing Tension Breaker
I'm originally from near Pittsburgh but lived in Baltimore for 27 years and I could never get used to the "funny" expressions they used. I was looking for fabric once while shopping about 10 miles south of Baltimore in Glen Burnie, MD. The sales lady told me I could find it at their BALMAR store and I told her I never heard of Balmar and she looked at me like I had two heads--- many people just don't say the T in Baltimore. Everyone is HON, there too.
When the kids I taught were relaying a story about going to Ocean City or another shore town they would say that they were going "downyocean" instead of down to the ocean. My usual screen name is Oceanmama but it was not acceptable for this site so I picked downyocean instead.
PS. Yes, I know I may have insulted someone who is native to Baltimore and that is not my intent. We have a long list of funny expressions in Pittsburgh too, like nebby, stillers, pop, gumbands, etc. I just find local sayings amusing, HON.
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12-09-2007, 11:11 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 1,798
Hysterectomy: August 21st, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Laughing Tension Breaker
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Quote: |
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Originally Posted by downyocean
I'm originally from near Pittsburgh but lived in Baltimore for 27 years and I could never get used to the "funny" expressions they used. I was looking for fabric once while shopping about 10 miles south of Baltimore in Glen Burnie, MD. The sales lady told me I could find it at their BALMAR store and I told her I never heard of Balmar and she looked at me like I had two heads--- many people just don't say the T in Baltimore. Everyone is HON, there too.
When the kids I taught were relaying a story about going to Ocean City or another shore town they would say that they were going "downyocean" instead of down to the ocean. My usual screen name is Oceanmama but it was not acceptable for this site so I picked downyocean instead.
PS. Yes, I know I may have insulted someone who is native to Baltimore and that is not my intent. We have a long list of funny expressions in Pittsburgh too, like nebby, stillers, pop, gumbands, etc. I just find local sayings amusing, HON.
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Speaking of the "Stillers," will "yinz" be watching the big game against New England today??? I sure hope so - they need all the help they can get to win this one!!
I grew up in Butler, about 30 mi north of Pittsburgh.
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