I need advice and support, I feel defeated

I've lost faith in my doctor, sick of hurting

I am a 36 year old mother of 6 and have had fibromyalgia for 20 years so pain is my daily norm. After months of horrendous cramping, irregular periods, heavy bleeding, bloating, daily vomiting, peeing every hour, and a dozen trips to the doctor/ER my doctor attributed my symptoms to IBS. I recently had an ultra sound done due to extreme side pain. The radiologist found uterine fibroids and low blood flow to my right ovary. I am a vet and the VA system is horrible at best, my doctor still insists my symptoms are from IBS and that my fibroids are nothing to worry about and are not the cause of my problems. I feel defeated and lost. I just want to be happy. My kids are my life but I am missing out on so much because of the pain and depression from the pain. I read some of the threads here and began crying because I am not alone. Any advice to get the help and treatment I need to improve my quality of life would be greatly appreciated!

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry for what you are experiencing! I have read a few times on this site of women having difficulty with the VA system for gyn care.

I am encouraging you to get the ball rolling on two things. It is my understanding that it can take quite a bit of pressure from the patient to make things happen with the VA, but they do get done. First, get a referral to a gastroenterologist. I had to do this when my doc wanted to rule out IBS. After a thorough exam, a billion questions, and a colonoscopy, IBS was ruled out. The thought that your doc (whether it is your primary or gyn) "attibutes" your pain to IBS without definitively having a diagnosis of it from a gastro doc sounds like they are grasping at straws/excuses. They could certainly be right, but I would rather have an official determination from a doc that specializes in that part of my body. After the gastroenterologist, seek out a second gyn opinion. Having the gastro stuff determined prior to a second gyn opinion helps; otherwise, the new doc may resort to the IBS thing or refer you to a gastro doc = more delays.

I dealt with debilitating pain for over 7 years before seeking help. Once I did, I was referred to different gyns specializing in different gyn issues. Eventually referred to a "pelvic pain" specialist. Stuck with this doc for 8 months and left when I was told to see a psych for guided imagery to deal with my pain. Then it was on to doc #6 for a second opinion. This doc thought it was adenomyosis (can only 100% be diagnosed after a hysterectomy though an MRI can "strongly indicate"), but that my fibroids were also a contributing factor.

I about fell over when I read that your doc said they aren't contributing to your pain and are nothing to worry about. When I was told I had fibroids by my second opinion doc (who turned out to be my surgeon) I had no idea as the prior doc I was with for 8 months never disclosed it but rather wanted me to see a psych for my pain. Since when does picturing a waterfall stop fibroids from growing?!? Bottom line I want to share from my experience...it took several doctors and I finally found the one that was confident in fibroids being one cause of my pain and another potential cause (adenomyosis). This doc also believed nobody should suffer the way I was and that I need to have quality of life restored. I had a hysterectomy about 2 months ago and haven't experienced that daily, debilitating pain since.

Unfortunately for some of us this is a long, drawn out process. We are the one's that are dealt a hand where a cause may not be obvious. It is only through my perserverence, support of family, and support of sisters from this site that I learned to advocate for myself.

You are a strong woman...6 kids...heck, you're Superwoman! Though you may get frustrated in the process, I hope you start applying the pressure to your doc for those referrals. From what other VA women have said, they do get the referrals but it takes a lot of work on their part (squeaky wheel syndrome, ya know).

I wish you well, dear. Just expressing yourself here can not only provide an outlet, but also resources. There was a time I wondered how I would ever find the right doc to help me, but I did and the ladies on this site helped me find the strength in myself until that time came.

Good luck, sister

Awesome reply, @Desilu!

I have been dealing with horrible IBS issues for years, and now we've discovered I have a couple of huge fibroids pushing my guts around. Both my first and second opinion docs have said they feel 95% sure the fibroids are contributing to my bowel & bladder issues, as well as back pain. I don't have a definitive surgical plan yet, but I can't wait until I do!
Keep on advocating for yourself, seek out the help you need. You deserve the best possible care, and you deserve to feel better. You rock!