2 weeks recovery

I'm going to complain for a minute. I am two weeks (tomorrow) out TVH with left ovary and tube taken out. The first week everyone was wonderful and helpful and now no one will do anything or help with anything at all. It is like now that the first week is over everyone thinks everything is hunky dory. I'm supposed to be raring to go. I walk into the great room last evening and here is my step daughters bra laying in the floor bedding clothes (IN THE GREAT ROOM) dirty dishes piled everywhere (from dinner that I MADE). I had to do the laundry til I felt something pull. Then my 11 year old helped me finish it. GOD BLESS HER SHE HELPS MORE THAN ANYONE. My husband now does nothing but go to work come home and play a game called WOW. I had requested him to go to the grocery numerous times on his way home since we were minus food in the ** use and well being home all day with no groceries kind of stinks....you get the picture. I had to take my last check for at least a month and buy groceries put the in the car etc. I'm frustrated. I hurt (crampy all the time leg ache back ache) I'm grumpy and so very tired. Any advice anyone? My husband acted clueless last night when I threw my hands up and said I give up. He has NO IDEA WHY I WOULD SAY THAT!

You know what, this may sound ugly but I would let him know exactly what the problem is and I wouldn't leave out any details. If he doesn't get it then help him get it. You have every right to be angry and frustrated. Sometimes I do think men just don't understand. I was lucky. My husband was very helpful and I had other family that was willing to help me. Let us know how things go.
Amanda

Hi Officeassistant,

I am 7 days post-op today. I was blessed to have my mother staying with me until last Friday.

When she left, I created a "To Do List" with my DH & 2 daughters ages 20 & 16.
Each person is responsible for a certain chore and it has helped us so much.

Remember, if all else fells, I would plop myself down and then it's every man for himself. When there are no more clean clothes or dishes they'll either wash or use it dirty.

DO NOT let them take advantage of you. Remember, you are the

Honey, you need to go on strike immediately. Get back into your nightgown, go to bed, and when your family whines, tell them your expectations in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS. That means they're in charge of the laundry, the meals, the groceries, and keeping the home tidy. Once you're cleared for activity, you shouldn't have to clean a pigsty. Your family needs to pitch in and YOU need to get well.

If all else fails, hide or break the WOW game, hire a maid and get a cook.

Lay down the law, then go to bed.

Maybe some of the articles on this site might be worth your husband's read?

Funny you should say that. I sent him a few today. WOW is a game on the internet that he pays for every month. It never ends. We have 3 computers (he is a project manager and computers are his life). I love him to death but it after the first week they all act like I am supposed to be back to normal and i'm not feelin it quite yet. I have some great days and I putter and lousy days and I sit and cry and watch tv and seeethe inside at the dishes and dirty floor and the trash no one wants to take out. I'm frustrated and tired I guess.

Hi office assisstant, kiwibird here, I suggest you use your grocery check and buy as many cheescakes as you can and no food for anyone else, they'll get the hint. Seriously though, how about taking them all to the computor and let them read this thread started by you. they should get the message loud and clear. My 11 year old daughter too has been wonderful, lifting and carrying and fussing over me. Unfortunately she has an aversion to cleaning and picking up after herself but hey I guess we cant win them all.
You need to focus on your recovery and not be dragged down by anger and negative thoughts, so just get it out of your system. If you feel bad afterwards you can always blame it on the hormones!
Good luck and take care
Kiwibird63

I would advise that since your husband likes computers so much that you have him surf some websites with the really gory hyster surgery photos 'til he gets 'the picture'....

I am 4 weeks post op, I still have not used the vacuum once. I have not pushed the grocery cart once either. We need grocerys soon, so one of my guys (hubby or son who is 23 still at home) will be going with me. I have however, done some light dusting, or cleaning of the counters. I still find that I get tired easily.

Remind your hubby that you are full of internal sutures, and if you pull one you could end up with a horrible infection, or even bleeding that could send you back to the hospital and put your recovery back to the surgery date.

Good luck! Keep us posted.

Oh---we have limits of time on the computer at our house, otherwise it will take over our lives!

Oh dear, I understand your frustration. My DH will be the same way. I've been feeling pretty good, and I am only 11 days-post op, but he sees me getting around wonderfully, so expects me to get crap done around the house, and asks me what I accomplished today. URGH! He thinks when I reach 2-weeks and get my staples out, I will be all clear to resume all household activities. He is already talking about all the stuff he wants me to do next week. He is taking me to the doctor to get the stitches out, and I can't wait to ask the doctor how much I should be expected to do. Do you have discharge instructions that clearly spell out your abilities you can show him? (i.e. not carrying things like groceries???!!) Or e-mail the list from this site. I am considering staying in my jammies all day, and pretending I am in pain again. I actually feel pretty good, but I don't want to relapse because I start to over do it. I guess I don't have many words of wisdom, but can only say that I understand your frustration. I hope the other suggestions here help, and you can get the rest you need!