5+ months post-op: Intercourse after daVinci Hysterectomy

Hello all,

My name is Madelaine and I am a 45yr old wife & mom of 2. I am about 5 1/2 months post surgery where my uterus/cervix & tubes were taken. Because my cervix was taken, I am very afraid to try intercourse...but I also REALLY want to. I am terribly fearful of how it will feel, & also potentially damaging my vaginal cuff with the penile thrusting...u know, typical conserns most women had post-op.

I am well able to orgasm from external stimulation still and have noticed NO decrease or change in the intensity...which is great.

This new fear of penetration is really hard because my hubby and I struggled with Vaginismus for the majority of our marriage (24yrs yal) and now that Vaginismus is not much of an issue anymore, there's THIS!

I would appreciate anyone willing to share their 'returning to sex' story (positive only...don't need my fears reinforced by horror stories pls). As well as any advice on how to proceed to ensure success.
Thank U!!!

Resuming intimacy post op can be very frightening! We've all seen the scary stories and have felt the concerns about whether it will hurt, will I bleed, etc. You've waited 5 months so your vaginal cuff should be very well healed. Set the mood, lots of foreplay, use lubrication and go slow and gentle. Be clear that if you say stop, that means now. Be in a position where you can control depth and can stop if you need to. There may not be fireworks the first time, but as you relax it gets better. I found that patience, trust and communication are key.

I was cleared at 8 weeks but we waited until 9 weeks. I was sore after a few minutes so we stopped. I was relieved that I didn't bleed or have sharp pain. We waited another week or two before trying again. Here is an article that may help:

Intimacy: Being Emotionally Ready

At 5 1/2 months po, you should have absolutely nothing to worry about. Have a drink or two and go for it!

My first time back was not romantic in the least. It was a mission. My goal was to make sure everything worked. I did as (((sugarandspice))) suggested and made sure my partner knew when I said stop it meant right that second. He even agreed to let me do all the work, so there was no "thrusting." I used lots of lubricant. I was so scared and worried, I did not have an orgasm, but my partner did. I had relief knowing that my cuff was healed. I did get a bit tender the first time, no bleeding or swelling though, but I was only 6 and a half weeks post op unlike you. You should be very well-healed by now. By the third time, I was really enjoying it, and before long I forgot to worry about it at all. I had no problems with orgasms and there was romance and fireworks a plenty

I know exactly what you mean! I was terrified! I actually cried during sex the first several times afterwards (not painful at all. I was just so scared!) Dryness was also an issue. We were patient and kept trying. Finally about 3-4 months post-op, things evened out and it was fine. It's now been 6 months and things are 100% back to normal and even better than before. I understand your fears!! But at over five months you should be fine. Just realize things might not be 100% the first few times. Give it time and it will be okay.

My surgery was a daVinci assisted LAVH. I was given the go ahead at my 6 week appointment and tried that night. We decided to make it a fact finding mission just to see how things felt. I didn't have any pain and it went great, even had fireworks lol. I am 2 months post op and don't even think about it anymore. :-)