Post Op question regarding intimacy.

Well I truly won't know if my sex life has changed I have been seperated for 7 years now but often we would still sneak away but over time I just realized that is all we were about.. I need more anyway I did ask my (MBF) male best friend to do me the honor of sleeping with me once I get dr clearance, is that wrong we do care deeply for one another but decided not to get into a relationship because we live so far from each other..all comments good and bad are welcomed.

Sex complicates a friendship. It will never be the same. I know you want to test the waters but don't know I would risk it. 😌

[quote=culkin39180;4287092]Sex complicates a friendship. It will never be the same. I know you want to test the waters but don't know I would risk it. 😌[/QUO
Thankk you

Depends on the friendship I think. I had a friend - many years ago - he was my best friend. Whenever neither of us was in a relationship we would " get together". Our relationship was love but not inlove - we went through everything together ... But we could not see ourselves " together ". I am now married and we moved far away. My husband was friends with him too. You likely wonder why I use past tense - its only because he " passed ". If not he would likely still be my best friend - we would have just continued to leave the benefits at the door.
Everyone is different. If you talk about it and boundaries are set .....

I guess it depends on what both of you want and make sure you're in agreement. I had a friend with benefits in the past and I wish it never became sexual. I lost a good friendship because of it and we were never able to just be friends after the sex was gone

I'm not clear on whether this friend is the one you used to be involved with sexually or a different friend with no past sex. If this is a return to the past, it may get his hopes up. Actually, either way it could get his hopes up. These arrangements tend to change friendships forever and often end them, from what I've seen. So consider that before you proceed. It may be comfortable to be with someone you know but is it worth losing a friend. It's a personal decision and may not be an easy one. Best wishes making the best decision for you.

We have talked about it, we talk about anything, everything and nothing. When I asked him he was shocked and honored and I think it makes it easy because we live so far away from each other. I know how he feels about me and he knows how I feel about him. I want it to be special, I just don't want to be with anyone when it is time for me to have that special moment with someone.

	Quote:
Originally Posted by greyown I'm not clear on whether this friend is the one you used to be involved with sexually or a different friend with no past sex. If this is a return to the past, it may get his hopes up. Actually, either way it could get his hopes up. These arrangements tend to change friendships forever and often end them, from what I've seen. So consider that before you proceed. It may be comfortable to be with someone you know but is it worth losing a friend. It's a personal decision and may not be an easy one. Best wishes making the best decision for you.

This friend and I have never had sex but we do spend a lot of time together when I am in town visiting my family, we go to dinner, movies, bars etc.... but we have never been intimate, hugged and held hands only. If others saw us out they would think we are a couple but we are not..

Hi Malikah I hear you loud and clear, it's been awhile for me too with my divorce and all, and I think to myself I would love to ask someone I know to have the special intimacy I crave after I get the go ahead from the Doc, I am so glad you posted this, I am sure there are more woman out there with the same dilemma.

Good luck with finding that right person ladies.